Me: “Thank you for calling! Can I have your customer ID number, please?”
Caller: “I don’t have that. Can I give you the business name?”
Me: “Do you have your program open? I can actually tell you how to find your customer ID number.”
Caller: “No, but I have the address.”
Me: “Do you have the phone number by chance? That usually brings it up.”
Caller: “No, but I have the customer number. Will that help?”
Me: “Yes, the customer number would be very helpful…”
(A customer walks in with several trash bags full of clothes to be cleaned.)
Me: “Okay, sir. I’ll need to sort and count all these items before I can give you a price. Would you mind opening that bag while I work on this one?”
Customer: “Why would I do your job?”
Me: “Of course, sir.”
(The customer watches silently as I sort, count, and fold over forty items, including clothing, bedding, and towels. Essentially, I am touching his clothes with my bare hands for over twenty minutes.)
Me: “Okay, sir, your total comes to [price]. We’ll have them cleaned for you tomorrow after four.”
Customer: “You can’t clean them sooner?”
Me: “Is there a specific reason you need them sooner?”
Customer: “Yeah, my kids have head lice. That’s all their contaminated stuff. They won’t have anything to sleep on tonight.”
(I work at an employment centre.)
Me: “What sort of work are you looking for?”
Customer: “Outdoor work, and… indoor work.”
Me: “Could you perhaps narrow that down a bit?”
This story is part of our Customers With Super-Vague Requests roundup!
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(I work as a demo lady.)
Customer: “What’s this?”
Me: “Chicken andouille gumbo.”
Customer: “Wait… what?”
Me: “Chicken andouille gumbo.”
Customer: “Are… you speaking English?”
(A client walks into the clinic as the floors are being mopped. She notices the ‘wet floor’ sign, and immediately starts flailing around as if she’s slipping.)
Me: “I haven’t mopped that part of the lobby yet.”
(The client immediately stops her dramatics.)
Client: “Oh, okay.”
This story is part of the Lying-Customers-Getting-Caught roundup!
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