(A customer is trying to return a flat cart loaded with at least $400 worth of slate tile. I work as an inventory manager at this particular store.)

Customer: “I need to return this tile.”

Returns Associate: “Do you have a receipt or at least the box this tile came in?”

(The customer had neither, so the return could not be processed. The argument went back and forth until finally the customer stormed out of the store. He left his cart of slate tile by the front door, then got into his vehicle and drove it in front of the store. I assumed he was going to load everything back into his vehicle. Instead he dumped the tile onto the ground and moved the cart inside. He got back in his truck and drove it over the pile of tile, back and forth three times, then sped away. All of the employees watched this with wide eyes. We grabbed a couple of trash cans and loaded up the broken pieces. I asked a manager if I could take any of the whole pieces of tile home and was told I could. I was able to completely tile my front porch with all of the whole tile! The customer could have easily sold his tile to any of the contractors or resale shops in the city but instead decided to ‘show us.’)

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

1. Submit a funny or interesting story about creepy customers. Whether they make inappropriate comments, strange flirtations, or are just down-right disturbing, we want to hear about it.
2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning March’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Man vs. Machine. The winning submission: Technology That Makes You Cry (929 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, May 7!

(I work in an electronics store that has been having a huge sale on TVs. One customer calls asking about a model that we just sold out of.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re sold out of that model right now.”

Caller: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

(At this point I hear a noise in the background. It sounded like someone shouting.)

Background: “What’s wrong?”

Caller: “They don’t have any.”

Background: “Why not? It’s in the ad!”

Caller: “They sold out.”

Background: “What?! Why did they do that?”

Caller: “Why did the- What?”

(He makes several noises, as if he’s struggling to understand her question. He apparently fails.)

Background: “Why did they sell them all?”

Caller: “Seriously? That’s what they DO! They sell things!”

Background: “ALL of them?”

Caller: “YES!”

Background: “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!”

(This goes on for another 10 MINUTES, and I am unable to will myself to hang up. Three coworkers and two managers have also picked up the line and listen as well, before the call abruptly drops, much to everyone’s disappointment.)

(A customer approaches me, holding a USB drive.)

Me: “Hello! Got some printing to do today, I see. From your USB drive, there?”

Customer: “Hello! I need to print something from my USB drive!”

(I assume she didn’t hear all of what I said, hence repeating the bit about the USB drive, and continue.)

Me: “Alrighty, no worries! We’ll go over to the PC here and print. Will it be black and white, or color printing?”

Customer: “Black and white, and then I need to fax the pages.”

Me: “Sure thing! I’ll print them for you, and then you can use our self-serve fax machine by the wall there.”

Customer: “Okay!”

(The customer accepts her copies, and then continues to stand and look at me.)

Me: “So, you’re all set! Here’s your USB drive back.”

Customer: “I need to fax these.”

(By now I’m beginning to notice a trend. Apparently the customer doesn’t pay any attention to what I’m saying even when she’s asked a question.)

Me: “The fax machine is self-serve, ma’am, and it’s by that wall there. We also keep pens by the fax machine if you need to use one.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! But… have you got a pen I can borrow?”

(I repeat myself. Again.)

Me: “Ma’am, the pens are next to the fax machine which is by that wall. Just walk right down this counter and you’ll see the machine.”

(The customer sends her fax, then comes back to pay.)

Customer: “Can I check out here?”

Me: “Sure! Your total today is [price].”

(Just to be safe, I rephrase the total and repeat it to her, given how much attention she paid to everything I said before.)

Me: “That’s [total].”

(The customer puts her purse on the counter and rummages around a minute.)

Customer: “Wait, how much did you say it was?”

(I work at a bus depot which has trips running daily to Alberta. I’m not new to the job, and know pretty much all the common destinations.)

Customer: “My daughter needs a ticket to Dukin.”

Me: “Dukin? I’ve never heard of it. Where is it?”

Customer: “In Alberta! I know there’s a bus going to Dukin tonight! She took this trip last month. I know you guys go there, you know, Doo – kin. Dukin!”

Me: “It’s not in the computer. How do you spell it?”

Customer: “L – E – D… something…”

Me: “Leduc?”

Customer: “Yeah! That’s what I said: Dukin!”

(She buys tickets regularly now, and calls the city Dukin to this day.!)