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The customer is NOT always right!

Customer: Impossible

, , , | Right | February 1, 2008

Old man: “I need a new phone! But I don’t want all those fancy bells and whistles on it!”

Me: “Okay, well we have some more basic phones over–”

Old man: “No I don’t want caller ID!”

Me: “Hmm… well all the phones we carry have caller ID on them. It’s a pretty standard feature nowadays.”

Old man: “Yeah but I don’t have that service, so I’d just be wasting my money on a feature I don’t use!”

(This sort of this goes on for about ten minutes. At one point another customer enters the aisle doing her own shopping. He looks over my shoulder and yells to her “Go find someone else! He’s helping me right now!” Finally, he decides on a phone…)

Old man: “Does this one have a wall mount?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it’s wall mountable.”

Old man: “Show me!”

Me: “We can’t really open product-”

Old man: “No, show me!”

(I think, “Screw it,” and open the box and take everything out to show him.)

Me: “See? Wall mounts.”

Old man: “Okay, fine, I’ll take it.”

(I spend ten minutes trying to get the freaking phone back in the box exactly how it was packaged, which is a lot harder than it sounds.)

Me: “Okay… here you go.”

Old man: “No, I don’t want that one, it’s been opened!”

(I nearly beat him to death with his cane.)

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Suddenly, I Feel Very Sorry For Her Child

, , , , | Right | February 1, 2008

Woman: Excuse me, I’ve lost my child somewhere in the store.

Me: “Okay. I’ll get someone right away.”

(I call in a code yellow.)

Me: “Okay, how old is your child?”

Woman: “She’d just turned three. Oooh, what if she’s been kidnapped?”

Me: “Don’t worry; I’m sure that’s not the case.”

(Security comes up to talk to her and she turns around.)

Security: “Ma’am, how many children do you have?”

Woman: “Just one. Why?”

Security: “Because your child is on your back.”

(She was wearing one of those harnesses.)

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Singleminded

, , | Right | January 31, 2008

Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah I’d like a pound of cajun chicken.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry cajun chicken, would you like some buffalo chicken in substitute?”

Customer: “Which cajun chicken do you have?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t serve cajun chicken.”

(My night manager is standing next to me. This guy goes on three more times, calm as can be, demanding cajun chicken.)

Manager: “Sir… we don’t… would you like the Santa Fe chicken?”

Customer: “I’d like the cajun chicken; where is your cajun chicken?”

Me: *facepalm*

Manager: *slices Santa Fe chicken and wishes him a nice day*

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Breaking The Terms of Service, LA-Style

, , , , , | Right | January 31, 2008

(A customer is looking at a laptop. I approach to help.)

Me: “That’s a really great computer.”

Customer: “I don’t need a computer. I need wireless Internet.”

Me: “All right, how much range do you need cover?”

Customer: *dead serious* “From here to Santa Monica.”

(Note: This is about a distance of ten miles.)

Me: “All right, let’s start over. This time I’ll be the one from the future.”

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Ahh, Youth

, , , | Right | January 31, 2008

(A teen girl walks through security and collects her belongings.)

Teen: “Excuse me, sir, what did you do with my purse?”

Worker: “I’m sure it came through, ma’am, just look around for it.”

Teen: *in a condescending tone* “Sir, I would appreciate it if you would find my purse that went through YOUR machine that YOU lost. That’s your job you know, now reach up in the machine and feel around for it.”

Worker #2: “Umm, your purse is on your arm.”

Teen: “Oh…” *walks away*


This story is part of the Totally Unobservant Customers roundup!

Read the next Totally Unobservant Customers roundup story!

Read the Totally Unobservant Customers roundup!

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