(The pharmacy that I work at has a very standard closing time of 7:00 pm. We’ve had this for years, much longer than I’ve worked there. If a customer comes in around 6:58 or so they usually purchase their items quickly and leave. This customer comes in at 6:59.)

Customer: “Whoo! Made it in the knick of time!”

Me: “You certainly did! You picking up a prescription today?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s [Name].”

(The transaction goes smoothly and he heads for the door. It’s 7:01 pm and he turns and goes to the blood pressure machine which usually takes a couple minutes to finish the measurement. My boss tells me to turn the lights off because we’re technically closed.)

Customer: “Hey! Can you turn the lights back on? I can’t see my reading!”

Me: “The display is LED; you don’t need the lights on, sir.”

(I work in the retail store of a contemporary art museum. The museum and the store have slightly differing hours on Thursdays, meaning the store is open two hours before the rest of the museum. For fire safety reasons, the entry to the museum remains open, with a sign in place informing guests of the hours.)

Me: “Good morning. Welcome to [Museum Store].”

Customer: “Thank you. You all were closed yesterday.”

(The galleries are closed on Wed. The store, however, was open.)

Me: “Yeah, the galleries are closed on Wednesdays. And they don’t open today until 1 pm.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I watch the customer feign interest in the shelves while trying to stealthily make their way towards the main lobby.)

Me: “Excuse me. The galleries aren’t open until one. I need you to remain in the store.”

Customer: “You should have a sign.”

Me: “We do.” *point to the sign*

Customer: “Why aren’t you open?”

Me: “The museum stays open late on Thursdays, so it opens later in the day.”

Customer: “That’s not what it says on your website.”

Me: “Actually it does.” *I swivel my monitor around and show her the museum homepage with the hours on the front* “There are hours for the galleries and the store. See? Store open: 11am-8pm. Museum Open: 1pm-8pm.”

Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t have different hours on different days. I really wanted to see [current exhibition].”

Me: “Well, we open at one, and I can give you a voucher for half price admission.”

Customer: “I can’t! I have a plane to catch; I have to go to the airport in an hour. We tried to come yesterday but you were closed!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that.”

Customer: “Is there someone from the museum I can talk to?”

(She clearly means, ‘someone I can complain to to get special treatment.’)

Me: “Since we don’t open until one, the staff doesn’t arrive until around 12:30. I can also give you the phone and e-mail address if that’s not convenient.”

Customer: “Oh, I was just wondering. I’m a friend of [Staff Member].”

Me: “Well you can certainly call them and see if they can arrange a tour for you today before we open.”

Customer: “Do you have her number?”

Me: “I can give you her extension here at the museum.”

Customer:” No, her mobile. You said she’s not here yet.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t have access to personnel contact info.”

Customer: “Well, you’re not very helpful!”

(The customer left. A few minutes later I heard a banging. I looked into the lobby and saw her yanking hard on the front doors, as if the reason they weren’t opening was because she was not pulling hard enough. She looked at the hours on the door, she looked at her watch, and finally figured it out. I never saw her again)

Me: “It’s 10.50 pm, so last orders, please!”

(Ten minutes later:)

Me: “It’s 11.00 pm. That’s time at the bar now!”

(I go about closing the bar, cleaning, sweeping, taking out the trash and cashing up. Four customers who’ve been chatting for several hours over one and a half beers and lots of glasses of tap water ignore me as I clean around them and tell them that I need to take their glasses.)

Me: “It’s 11.45 pm. Come on. Everyone’s gone, the bar is shut, and I’m not being paid to be here any more. Will you please just go?”

Customer: “I can’t believe how rude you’re being! Let me talk to your manager!”

(They explain how rude I was when I asked them to leave and how I had claimed that I wasn’t being paid to be polite to them now.)

Manager: “He’s right. We’ve been closed for nearly an hour and none of us are being paid to be here now. So get out!”

(I thought I might have overstepped the mark but it’s good to know your manager’s got your back!)

(Although we are not supposed to lock the doors until exactly 9:00 pm, it had been a long, busy day and the manager and I were both tired, so I locked the doors at 8:58 pm. We closed down the last register and were both in the back office counting the till. At 9:05 pm we hear someone banging incessantly at the door, which is not unusual. Almost every night, we have customers banging on the door after close, hoping we’ll let them in. If it’s an emergency, and going to guarantee a large sale like a new car battery, we’ll let them in and help them. So, I go to the door to investigate.)

Me: “Sorry! We’re closed! We closed at 9:00 pm.”

Customer: “You locked the door before 9:00! I was here and I watched you!”

Me: “If you were here before 9:00, why didn’t you come in?”

Customer: “I was finishing my cigarette! I want to buy an air freshener!”

(Our office is closed during lunch so that the nurses and receptionists can eat, and the shot clinic isn’t even open on this day. We have signs up on the windows and doors announcing this, but we still have people that try to get in during lunch, shake the doors, and then complain later that the receptionists wouldn’t let them in. As a result, the front office people tend to stay out of sight of the window when the office is closed. Sometimes, we’ve even hidden under the desks to keep patients from thinking we were open. I walk out of my part of the office and freeze. There’s a woman standing at the front door impatiently. I’m not clocked in, so I call for my coworker, who is technically also off the clock.)

Coworker: “Can I help you? ”

Patient: “Where is everyone? The door was locked!”

Coworker: “The office is closed for lunch right now.”

Patient: “I wasn’t sure. That’s why I went around to the back and knocked.”

Me: *shocked* “You… went to the back?”

(The back of the office is the break room and where we park our cars. The patients are not supposed to go back there, and this is the first one that’s been bold enough to try.)

Patient: “Yeah, but nobody answered. I need to get my shot!”

Coworker: ” Ma’am, the shot room is closed.”

Patient: “What? Why?”

Coworker: ” We don’t give shots today.”

Patient: ” Wait, since when have you started doing that?”

Coworker: “… Ma’am, we’ve NEVER given shots on this day of the week.”

Patient: “WELL, YOU SHOULD!”