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The customer is NOT always right!

Troubleshooting Tip #56: No Cramming Cold Cuts

, , , , | Right | July 4, 2008

Me: “Xbox customer service. How may I help you?”

Client: “Yes, my Xbox isn’t working, but it doesn’t have that red light thingy in the front. I DEMAND to know what is wrong with it!”

Me: “Sir, you’re going to have to be a little more specific. Is your power supply functioning properly?”

Client: “Of course it is. Do I sound stupid to you?”

Me: “No, sir… Can I get your console number?”

Client: “On the bottom of the disk drive?”

Me: “No, it’s not–”

Client: “OHHH, I found the problem. There was some baloney in the disk drive…” *click*

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Goodwill Running Out About… Now

, , , , , | Right | July 4, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotels] Inns and Suites. How may I help you tonight?”

Customer: “Yes, my plane was delayed, so I need to cancel my reservation in Vegas and get a room here.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Let me look that up for you.”

(I take his information, call the hotel, and talk them into canceling the reservation even though their policy said he should have had to pay for it because of the short notice. I put in the extra effort because I felt bad for the guy.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I’ve taken care of that and made you a new reservation at a hotel there. Your total for the room is going to be $89.”

Customer: “But my flight was delayed and I had to cancel my other reservation. My stay should be free!”

Me: “Well, you’ll have to check with the airline. They should pay for all or part of your hotel stay.”

Customer: “They told me you’d pay for it.”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I’m not sure why they would have told you that. The airline is responsible for the delay. We are not and we can’t give you a free stay. You’re going to have to talk to them.”

Customer: “Look, you’re going to give me a f****** free night in the f****** hotel here. You have to. My flight was canceled.”

Me: “Sir, I have to ask you not to curse at me. I will terminate the call.”

Customer: “Look, b****–” *click*

(I received five or six hang-up calls in the next 30 minutes, which I assume were his attempts to get another agent. Unfortunately for him, I was the only person working after midnight. I no longer felt bad for him.)


This story is part of our Swearing Customers roundup!

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Postman 1, Preemptive Strike 0

, , , , | Right | July 4, 2008

(I’m waiting in line and overhear a conversation between the customer in front of me and the postman at the front counter.)

Customer: “I need to ship this package out.”

Postman: “Okay. Would you like to upgrade this to priority shipping?”

Customer: “No, I just want to send this by regular mail. I don’t need anything else or any other services.”

Postman: “Okay, that’ll be $10.00 for the shipping. Do you need any stamps today?”

Customer: “No! No stamps, no certified mail, no post office box, no passport. I just need to ship this package out–that’s it. Did I miss anything?!”

Postman: *without skipping a beat* “Do you need any money orders today, ma’am?”

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Maine, Mars, Same Difference

, , , , , | Right | July 4, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business] customer service. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Where y’all at? India?!”

Me: “No, sir, I’m in Maine.”

Customer: “Maine? Where the h***’s that?”

Me: “Northern New England, sir.”

Customer: “England? I thought you sounded funny.”

(I have a VERY slight New England accent and this guy sounds like a Southern good ol’ boy).

Me: “No, NEW England, sir, northeastern United States.”

Customer: “Oh, up in Canada, then! Well, you done learned English pretty good I guess!”

Me: “…”


This story is part of our 2nd Terrible At Geography roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

13 Funny True Stories About Tourists Who Have Absolutely No Clue

 

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(Telepathic) Help Wanted, Part 3

, , , , | Right | July 3, 2008

(Note: this is something I witnessed.)

Clerk: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for this movie. I rented it before, but I want it again.”

Clerk: “Sure thing. What’s the title?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know. ”

Clerk: “What was it about?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Clerk: “Well, do you remember what the cover looked like?”

Customer: “No, not really.”

Clerk: “Who was in it?”

Customer: “I didn’t pay attention. ”

Clerk: “…”

Customer: “…”

Clerk: “Sir, I can’t find the movie without any details.”

Customer: “Isn’t that your job?!”


This story is part of the Movies & TV roundup!

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