The customer is NOT always right!

My Neighbor Broke, Can You Fix It

, , | Right | November 7, 2007

Tech Support: “So, you’re having issues picking up your wireless signal. How many connections are there?”

Customer: “There are two other networks but only one bar on each. Those are my bad neighbors.”

Tech Support: “So, the good signal isn’t there? Hmm, your modem might be off; can we check that?”

Customer: “Modem?”

(Tech support troubleshoots that for a while before realizing the guy has never paid for Internet before and doesn’t own a modem.)

Tech Support: “Sir, when you said the other connections were your ‘bad neighbors’… did you mean that the good neighbor with the good signal isn’t there?”

Customer: “Oh, he moved?”


This story is part of our Neighbor roundup!

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My, Aren’t We Feeling Ethnocentric Today?

, , , | Right | November 7, 2007

Travel Store Customer: “Do you have any globes that have the United States bigger? I don’t need all this Africa, I just really want the US and Europe.”


This story is part of our 2nd Terrible At Geography roundup!

Read the next Terrible At Geography roundup story!

Read the 2nd Terrible At Geography roundup!

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… And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us

, , , | Right | November 7, 2007

Customer: “Are you Hispanic?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Middle Eastern?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Egyptian?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “What are you?”

Me: “Chinese.”

(customer puts on offended face)

Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.”

Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!”

Me: *mouth wide open*


This story is part of the Lunar New Year roundup!

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Read the Lunar New Year roundup!

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Because Everything’s Bigger In Texas

, , , | Right | November 7, 2007

(The shop is really, really small, and is inside the same building as a supermarket. A lady walks into the store with a shopping cart.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, could you leave your cart outside? It’s blocking other people from getting inside the store.”

Lady: *moves her cart filled with unpaid merchandise outside the store*

Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t take unpaid merchandise outside the store either.”

Lady: “I’m sorry. I’m from Texas!”

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Sorry, Scotty & Spock Haven’t Been Born Yet

, , , | Right | November 6, 2007

Customer: “Hello, is this Tech support?”

Me: “Absolutely, is there an issue I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah I want you to take over my computer and tell me what’s wrong with it. It’s all crazy.”

Thinking about how “all crazy” actually constitutes as a good description of a problem in most cases.

Me:  “Okay, ma’am, well I assume you’ve had us remote control your machine before, so go ahead and open the program for me and I’ll try to connect. What’s the IP address?”

Customer: “No, you can’t have my IP.”

Me: “Well it’s impossible to help you without it. Don’t worry, I’m not going to do something to your machine.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. My ISP or whatever stopped giving me internet so I need you to do it some other way.”

Me: “Ma’am, without internet I can’t just… beam into your computer.”

Customer: “Man, those guys control EVERYTHING!!”

*click*

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