Think They Can Use Those Shoes To Walk All Over You

, , , | Right | October 11, 2019

(I’m an assistant manager at a popular shoe store chain and am cashing out an old couple. It had been relatively busy all day and we have been short-staffed, so I have spent most of the day at the register while my coworker was in the back unloading a shipment of shoes. We are required to ask about loyalty, ask if customers want to donate to a cause, tell them about optional surveys, AND try to get them to buy accessories on top of this to keep our jobs. This interaction happens shortly after I go through the requirements checklist.)

Old Woman: “Oh, for the love of God, stop trying to sell us s***! It’s very rude, you know! Also, [Husband] and I might have made a little mess when trying on shoes; hope you don’t mind cleaning it up for us.”

Me: *forcing a smile* “Of course, ma’am! Have a great day.”

(I handed her her receipt and went to go inspect the “mess.” My eyes nearly popped out of my head! They had each tried on 10 to 15 pairs of shoes and left them jumbled all over the aisle, many pairs completely separated from their boxes! It took coworker and I nearly an hour to separate boxes and pair up shoes and find where they all came from.)

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Maybe He Should Move To America

, , , , , | Right | October 11, 2019

(This took place nearly a decade ago. I’ve already voted and am just waiting for my wife to finish. I see an old man being wheeled in by three ladies, who I assume to be his wife, daughter and granddaughter. After entering, the old man takes a good look around before loudly asking a question:)

Old Man: “Where the f*** do I vote for the Nazis?!”

(Most of the voters freeze, and several stare at the old man. The ladies with him all look either shocked or embarrassed.)

Daughter: *sounding shocked* “Dad, you can’t f****** vote for them anymore.”

(They left quickly, and I never saw the old man ever again.)

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Pull Up Your Garters And Get Down To Work

, , , , | Right | October 11, 2019

(I work at a large, national retail store as a cashier. It is a quiet night, and only one coworker and my manager are working with me. My manager comes walking up to my coworker and me.)

Manager: “So, uh, are either of you guys good with snakes? Because I’m terrified of them, and a customer just came in and asked for help. She thinks there’s a snake in her van and is scared to drive home.”

(My coworker and I look at each other.)

Coworker: “Ugh, I hate snakes!”

Me: “Actually, I have no problem with them. I live out by the woods; I’ve been catching garter snakes since I was little.”

(I followed the customer out to her van with a flashlight. It turned out that a garter snake had, indeed, found its way into her vehicle, and I fished it out for her. Whenever I’m asked at interviews how far I’d go to make a customer happy, I always tell this story. It’s certainly the oddest request I’ve ever had in more than ten years of working in customer service.)

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“A” Bit Of Trouble With The Address

, , , | Right | October 11, 2019

(I live in an apartment complex with four buildings. They are called A, B, C, and D. One day I phone the local taxi company to get a ride.)

Me: “Hi. Can I get a pickup at [complex address], please?”

Dispatcher: “Sure thing. Which building?”

Me: “A.”

Dispatcher: “Which building?”

Me: *a little more clearly* “A.”

Dispatcher: *more clearly* “Which. Building.”

Me: *drawn out* “A.”

Dispatcher: “I need to know which building!”

(It finally dawns on me that she thinks I am saying, “Eh?” as in, “Didn’t catch that, please repeat yourself!” in true Canadian fashion. I just thought our phone connection wasn’t the best and she couldn’t hear me.)

Me: “Oh! Building A. The first one at the top of the hill!”

(We both had a good laugh about it. I’ve been a regular for a few years now, so by now they already know where to come as soon as my number pops up on their caller ID in the mornings.)

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The Long Fish Stick Of The Law  

, , , , , | Right | October 11, 2019

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve just been down to your outlet in Denver and the waitress wouldn’t serve me.”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. Can I take some details?”

Customer: “Sure. At 8:55 pm, I came down to get a fish sticks and fries meal and the lady wouldn’t let me in. “

Me: “Did she say why?”

Customer: “Yes, she said half an hour ago they just got robbed and the police were there.”

Me: “So, the store was closed due to a robbery?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *bewildered* “Right…”

Customer: “So, I’m very unhappy I didn’t get my fish sticks. It’s not my fault they got robbed.”

Me: “And you still want to complain?”

Customer: “Yes, I do.”

Me: “Okay, then…”

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