(I am on my second shift at a till at a new coffee shop, where I am still unfamiliar with the system and therefore very slow. Thankfully, it is at night, so the lineup is usually only two or three people and the customers spend at most three minutes waiting in line.)

Me: *to approaching customer* “Hello! How may I help you?”

Customer: *he has been waiting in line for less than a minute* “What is taking so long? The store is never this slow.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I’m new to working here, so I’m still learning everything.”

Customer: “They hired MORE new people?”

Me: “Yes, that’s how stores work.”

Customer: “Well they need to stop hiring so many new people! Don’t you agree?”

Me: “…no?”

(Clearly he doesn’t understand how I got my job.)

(An older man comes in to buy some games for his grandson. He picks out three games, buys them, and leaves. The next day, when I’m working, an older woman comes into the store.)

Female Customer: “I’m looking to buy some games for my grandson. My husband came here yesterday and bought him some, so I don’t want to get the same ones.”

Me: That’s understandable. Which games did he buy?”

Female Customer: *gives me a look like I just spoke to her in another language* “How do I know?! Look it up on your computer!”

(We have a computer system that is able to go through past transactions, so I tell her I can look it up, but since I wasn’t there the day before, I had no idea what to even look for.)

Me: “I just need to know what system the games were for, and what time approximately he came in.”

Female Customer: “How am I supposed to know any of that?! That is YOUR job!”

Me: “Well, I wasn’t here yesterday, so I have no idea what to even look for. Maybe you can call him and ask him if he can tell you which games he bought, or at least the system and what time he came in to buy them?”

Female Customer: *making sighs of annoyance and looking super frustrated* “Fine, hang on.”

(She proceeds to call her husband, and he tells her the system he bought them for and around what time he bought them. I start going through the system and find a transaction that matches that, so I help her find a few games for the system that are different from the ones her husband bought, but with the same kind of theme. She buys the games and leaves. A few hours later she comes back with the games and her receipt.)

Female Customer: “I want to return these.”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine. But can I ask why you’re returning them?”

Female Customer: “I found a better deal on them at [Big Box Store]. They were all $44.89 as opposed to your $44.99. You guys have the worst prices.”

(I return the games for her and she leaves.)

Coworker: “Did she actually come all the way back here to save 10 cents a game…?”

(Several young men come in and begin playing on the demonstration consoles. After a short period they begin acting very inappropriately: shouting, vulgar language, etc.  I approach the group.)

Me: “Excuse me, but I have to ask that you calm down or I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer #1: “Whatever.”

Group: *sniggers*

Me: “As I said, ‘sir,’ you need to keep your voices down and your language appropriate, or I am going to have to ask you to go.”

Customer #1: “You can’t talk to me like that. I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I’m afraid she is unavailable. If you’d like I can call security and you can speak to them.”

Customer #1: *angry* “I’m not going to be talked down to by someone that works in a shop; you need to learn your place!”

(At this my manager had come over and, obviously seeing my anger, told me to go calm down. When I returned, the lads had gone and I went on with my day and forgot all about the incident. Several weeks later, as part of my Master’s, I was working at the university setting up for an undergraduate laboratory assessment, which I was assisting the lecturer in demonstrating. In came the undergrads, and lo and behold there was my stuck up customer sitting at the bench which I am in charge of. We exchanged a glance and at the professor’s words ‘the demonstrators will be marking you on your practical skills during the course of this assessment, which accounts for 20% of your practical marks,’ his expression changed, and this time, the entitled brat did not look as confident.)

(After running out of diapers in the middle of the night, my husband runs out to the nearest grocery store. There are a few people in line when this happens.)

Lady Behind In Line: “So where are you from?”

Husband: “Oh, I’m from New Orleans.”

Lady Behind In Line: “No, where are you really from? You know; your people?”

Husband: “I was born in India, but immigrated to the US as an infant.

Lady Behind In Line: “India? How wonderful. My church has helped save a lot of the heathens there! Have you been saved by the blood of our savior, Jesus Christ? If you’re not saved, you and your family will burn in Hell for all time.”

(The entire line goes silent, shocked at the gall of this woman. My husband decides to have some fun with her.)

Husband: “No, I come from a long line of Satanists. We’re having a sacrificial ceremony nearby if you’d like to attend? Wait, do you know where I can buy a couple of goats?”

(The woman turns white, drops her items on the floor, and runs out.)

Cashier: “D***! I was about to tell her I belong to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!”

(The customer pulls up on the service drive. She is driving a brand new car. She does not bother being polite, instead gets out of the car screaming.)

Customer: “This car is a lemon; I’m gonna sue you all!

(Her car is pouring oil on the drive. The service advisor goes over, she shuts it off, and he opens the hood and goes to check the oil. There is no dipstick.)

Service Advisor: “Where is the dipstick?”

Customer: *smugly* “I put it in the trunk so I don’t lose it.”