(Note: this customer is yelling at me over something stupid in the first place…)
Customer: *pause* “Who is that on your shirt?”
Me: *slightly taken aback by the change in subject* “Ernesto “Che” Guevara.”
Customer: “Who is that?”
Me: “A Cuban revolutionary.”
Customer: “My husband is Cuban… Would he know about that guy?”
Me: “Yeah.”
(Customer calls her husband and talks to him for a second)
Customer: “My husband says he is a communist. Are you a communist?!”
Me: “Only on paper, ma’am.”
Customer: *blink blink* “I don’t get it!”
Me: “I didn’t think you would.”
Customer, upon receiving her Moolatte: “This has a round lid, can I have a flat lid?”
Me: “I’m sorry, the only lid that fits that cup is a dome lid.”
Customer: “But I want a flat lid, Starbucks always gets me a flat lid! Why can’t you?!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the flat lids we have won’t fit that cup.”
Customer: “I want to speak with your manager.” *mutters* “Stupid kids…”
(I go and get my manager)
Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”
Customer: “This stupid employee of yours won’t give me a flat lid!” *brandishes the drink in his face*
(My manager takes one of every single lid in the store and puts them in front of her)
Manager: “Go ahead then.”
Customer: *proceeds to try and put the lids on the cup, none of which fit* “This is ridiculous! Why don’t you have a flat lid?! Starbucks always has a flat lid!!”
Manager: “Then go buy your drinks there and leave my employees alone.”
Customer: *in the frozen food aisle* “Do you have ice cream?”
(Our mall opens at ten, so the restaurant does not serve breakfast.)
Customer: *gazes at menu board* “I’d like a [Breakfast Sandwich], please.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, we don’t serve breakfast at this location.”
(Customer, still gazing at menu, which lists no breakfast items.)
Customer: “Well, can I get an order of [Breakfast Platter]?”
Me: “Ma’am, we do not serve breakfast here since we can’t open before ten.”
(Customer ceases looking at menu board gazes at me for a moment.)
Customer: “You don’t serve breakfast?”
Me: “Uh… no.”
Customer: “Are you Hispanic?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Middle Eastern?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Egyptian?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “What are you?”
Me: “Chinese.”
(customer puts on offended face)
Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.”
Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.”
Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!”
Me: *mouth wide open*
This story is part of the Lunar New Year roundup!
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