(I’m working as a cashier at a popular fast food restaurant and have had a pretty rough night so far. I’m just finishing up an order on a young lady when I notice a button from a TV show I like on her purse.)

Me: “Oh, you like [TV Show]?”

Customer: *gives me a deer in the headlights look* “…The TV show?”

Me: “Yup.”

Customer: *a freaked out look starts to form*

Me: *points to the button on her purse after seeing the freaked out look* “You have a button with the main character’s face on it.”

Customer: *looks at her purse and calms down* “Oh! For a second I thought you could read my mind.”

Me: *laughs* “Oh, if I could read minds I would not be here. I would go play poker and win all the money!”

(The customer laughed too and we talked briefly about the show before she went to wait for her food. I continued to go on with my shift in much higher spirits. It’s rare, but getting customers that are able to cheer me up, is a blessing on bad shifts.)

(As I’m working the till, an old man walks up to me. It takes a few minutes to fill out his order, because he can barely speak, and his finger shakes when he tries to tell me what he wants. He is extremely polite, and orders two coffees. After he leaves to get coffee stirrers, a young woman comes to my till.)

Customer: “Oh, my God, what a drag, huh? That guy was such a dumba**. He should just die and move over for the best generation. Am I right?”

Me: “…Why don’t I just take your order.”

(As she ordered, the old man, who heard what she said, walked up behind her quietly, popped the lid off of one of his coffees, and poured it all over the woman. She screamed, and ran away yelling about her clothes, while the old man ordered another coffee.)

(I work at a somewhat upscale clothing store. Lately customers have been coming in and refusing to even acknowledge my greeting, let alone let me help them.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store]. What can I help you find today?”

Customer: “I’m not telling you what I’m looking for.”

Me: “Okay. If you need anything let me know.”

(Customer proceeds to look around for about 20 minutes. I check on her several more times. She lets on that she is looking for something specific to wear to a graduation. She will not tell me what it is.)

Customer: *leaving* “Well, I guess you just don’t carry cardigans anymore!”

Me: “Yes, we do! They are right here on this table! What size or color would you like?”

Customer: “White, medium.”

Me: “That was pretty fast, right?”

Customer: “Sorry, I just didn’t want you to try to SELL me anything.”

Me: “Then why are you shopping?”

(I am the tired and barely attentive customer in this story.)

Employee: “How can I help you today?”

(I proceed to order my coffee.)

Employee: “And what name should I put on the cup?”

Me: “Oh. Uh, Visa.”

(The employee dutifully writes Visa on the cup without another question.)

Employee: “And how will you be paying today?”

Me: “Oh… Yeah… Visa.”

(Apparently I needed that coffee more badly than I realized.)

(This is back when pizza shops had a “30 minutes or less” delivery guarantee. An order comes in for a pizza and a drink to be delivered to East 4th Street. I get to the address in plenty of time and it’s the wrong house.)

Me: *calling the office* “Can I just verify the address?”

Office: “Yeah, it’s East 4^th Street.”

Me: “That’s where I went and it was the wrong house. Can you call the customer to verify the address?”

(The customer verifies that the address is East 4th Street. I knock on a few doors to no avail, give up and drive back to the office. I check the map and find an East 4th LANE. On a hunch, I head over there. Sure enough, it’s the customer.)

Me: “That will be [total].”

Customer: *arguing* “No way! You’re late and I want the order for free.”

Me: “Afraid not, as it’s your fault for repeatedly giving us the wrong address.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? Want to come inside and ‘talk about it?!’”

Me: “I don’t think so. Are you going to pay me or not?”

(He refused. I flipped open the pizza box, grabbed a slice, and started eating it in front of him, turned and got in my car and head back to the office! When I got there, I told the boss what I did and he told me that I will have to pay for that order. It cost me $1.00 and that was the last I heard about it.)