(I work at a popular fast food restaurant that allows customers to make a large range of changes to their food which we occasionally get wrong, but we are always happy to fix.)

Customer: “I ordered no bacon on this burger, but you’ve put bacon on it. I’d like a fresh burger.”

Me: “We are very sorry, madam; we will get that fixed straight away.”

(I then signal to the manager who tells the chef to remake the burger fresh as is custom but take off the bacon. He then proceeds to throw the old burger in to the waste bin which is in view of the customer. She waits until the burger has been freshly made and then decides to complain again.)

Customer: “This burger is still no good.”

Me: “I’m not quite sure I understand. There is no bacon on this burger. Is there another problem?”

Customer: “Yes, you did not make a fresh burger. I heard the man tell them to take the bacon off this one.”

Me: “Ah, I understand the confusion but that is just how we communicate specific orders. We are referring to the way the burger is usually made and removing the bacon from the recipe, not your original burger. I assure you that this is a freshly made burger that hasn’t had any bacon on it.”

Customer: “I don’t believe you. I think he took the burger out back and just took the bacon off.”

(My manager then proceeded to go through the waste bin until he found the ladies original burger and produced it for her. She was still unhappy and decided she wanted a refund, and both burgers went in the trash.)

(I am a cashier, with a customer hauling a rather expensive patio set along with some groceries in my line. I ring him up and show him the total.)

Customer: “That price is incorrect.”

Me: “I am very sorry, sir. I will have someone get a price check right away.”

(I have someone check the price of the patio set and it comes back the same as I had on the register.)

Me: “Sir, the price of that patio set is [price].”

(I show him the screen with a picture of his patio set and the price.)

Customer: “No, your total is wrong! I will show you!”

(The man then proceeds to take out a calculator and attempts to add up all his purchases.)

Me: “Sir, I can assure you the register has a built in calculator, so it does not make adding mistakes.”

Customer: “WELL, IT HAS THIS TIME!”

(I have a rather long line building up by this point which has attracted the attention of one of my managers. She walks over and sees the man furiously typing away on his calculator.)

Manager: “Sir, what seems to be the problem here? Can I help you?”

Customer: “Your machine is broken!”

Manager: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “It’s not adding the total properly! This is very poor service!”

Manager: “One moment, sir.”

(My manager took me aside and told me to take my break. I did as she said, thankful to be out of there. Later, my manager came into the breakroom and told me that that was the third time that customer had done that in a week. Apparently he couldn’t afford the patio set so he thought he could swindle a cashier into giving it to him cheaper.)

(I’m scanning a customer’s groceries. Everything is going normally, and then she says out of the blue:)

Customer: “Do you like my shirt?”

(It’s a shirt for a cancer awareness walk.)

Me: “Sure, it’s a nice shirt.”

Customer: “Yeah. I had cancer, you know.”

Me: “Oh, no! But you’re cancer-free now, I hope?”

Customer: “Yes. But I don’t like to talk about it.”

Me: “…Have a nice day.”

(It is Halloween and I am working the overnight shift at my store. As the manager, I am required to do drive-thru since we are unusually busy as well as short-staffed on Halloween night. I have just finished trick-or-treating with my godson and am still in my costume, which I am allowed to wear in place of my usual uniform. It is just after two am, and all the bars are closed, when I have a taxi pull to my window with three drunk men in the back. The cabbie is clearly frustrated and although I have no issues while taking their order, I grow concerned.)

Me: “You’re total is [total].”

(The men in the back start searching their pockets for money and after a minute passes, I start to get frustrated myself. We are slammed and I still have to help my coworker make the food, since it’s only the two of us. The man in the far right seat, furthest from me, finds his wallet and sticks out a bill. I lean out the window, almost climbing into the cab, and take the cash, all while the men are staring down my shirt in a none-too-discreet manner. As I’m cashing out the order, I count out the eighty-some dollars in change while listening to them talk about what they’d love to do to me.)

Me: “Here’s your receipt and change. Would you like any ketchup?”

Drunk #1: “No, but I’ll take your number and you can keep the change.”

(I look down at the money and back at him.)

Drunk #2: “Only if you share her.”

(At this point, I’m clearly disgusted with them and I glance at the cabbie, who’s in the worse position of driving them home. Feeling bad, I grab a pen and write the store number on the back of the receipt with a fake name attached.)

Drunk #1: “Thanks, cutie. I’ll call you later.”

(I grab their food and bag an extra medium fry for the cabbie. I grab the money from my pocket and split it in half, shoving one half into the medium fry bag. I hand out their order and make sure the cabbie gets his food. He smiles and thanks me. Thinking nothing more of it, I go back to work. A few hours later, the cabbie comes back through.)

Me: “Hi, your total—” *seeing the cabbie* “Oh, hi! I hope you enjoyed the tip! I didn’t think they were likely to give you anything. They were real jerks.”

Cabbie: “I appreciated the gesture. I really just wanted to come back to give you this.”

(He hands me $150.)

Me: “Are you serious? You really don’t have to do that!”

Cabbie: “And they didn’t have to say the things they said. I just wanted to make sure you received a tip from someone who honestly appreciated your service. Thank you, and have a good rest of your day.”

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Customer: *after complaining how dealers and garages are all out to take your money and burn you* “So you are telling me you cannot fix my car?”

Mechanic: “We can fix your car; we just do not have the parts.”

Customer: “Why do you not have the parts? It is a standard part!”

Mechanic: “We do not carry parts for your vehicle. Your car is [X brand]. We are a [Y dealership] and garage. Our parts are not for your vehicle.”

Customer: “But you are a garage!”

Mechanic: “Yes for [Y vehicles], so we stock only [Y vehicle] parts.”

Customer: “So you do not have my part?”

Mechanic: “No, but we can get it.”

Customer: “If you can get it, why do you not stock it?”

Mechanic: “Because are a [Y dealership] garage. Your car is an [X brand]. If you want the parts to be in stock you need to go to an [X dealership] garage.”

Customer: “But you can get the parts so you should stock them!”

Mechanic: “Look, when the [X dealership] garage opens and the parts stores open, we will make a few calls, find the part, and send a driver out to get it.”

Customer: “If you can get the parts you should stock them!”

Mechanic: “We do not stock parts for cars that are not [Y cars]. We are not a parts store or an [X vehicle] dealer.”

Customer: “So I guess you are going to screw me over and make me wait until other stores open so you can get a part you should have in stock.”

Mechanic: “As soon as we can we will get to work or you can take your car to an [X dealer].”

Customer: “Fix it. OH, and I have a coupon.”

Mechanic: “We cannot accept it.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Mechanic: “Because it is for [Y vehicles] only. See it says right here. “Valid for [Y vehicles].”

Customer: “So you will not stock my parts and you will not accept a coupon!”

Mechanic: “…”

Customer: “So can you fix my car?”

Mechanic: “As soon as we get the part here which may be an hour or two.”

Customer: “You really need to keep my parts in stock!”

Mechanic: “Sir, we are not a… Forget it. Just have a seat; you will be called when it is ready.”