(I’m working as a cashier at a local health food store when I notice a gentleman standing in the honey section and staring at all of the jars looking really distraught. Eventually he comes to me for assistance.)

Me: “Hi! Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “Do you have any bee honey?”

Me: “Yes, of course. It’s right over here”

Customer: “No, I looked there already. All you have is clover honey.”

Me: “Sir, clover honey just means that the bees used mainly clover plants to make the honey.”

Customer: “No! My girlfriend told me to pick up some bee honey! I need honey made by bees not by clover!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you, all honey comes from bees. Clover honey means that the bees used nectar from clover plants. Wildflower honey means the bees used nectar from wildflowers. Both honeys come from bees, just the taste is a little different.”

Customer: *stares blankly then narrows his eyes at me* “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I assure you; it all comes from bees.”

Customer: “…I don’t believe you.”

Me: “I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you. If you buy some and it’s not what your girlfriend wants, you can return it.”

Customer: “…Okay. I’ll buy it. But I still don’t think it’s from bees.”

(He didn’t return it, so I guess he was happy with it!)

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(Customers are packed in a tight aisle, so to get out of the way my brother and I go to the end of the aisle and stand there. We are in front of the coffee creamer and are talking about mp3 players. Suddenly, an old lady appears.)

Old Lady: *in a loud, almost yelling, voice* “You’re in front of what I need!”

(My brother and I move away and continue our conversation. The old lady takes literally five minutes to choose her creamer and just as she’s about to walk away…)

Me: *directed towards my brother* “Yeah, but your mp3 player sounds so tinny.”

Old Lady:  “What did you say?!”

Me: “Uhm… a certain type of mp3 player sounds tinny?”

Old Lady: *getting mad* “What did you say to me!?”

Me: *louder* “This mp3 player sound tinny!”

Old Lady: *really mad* “What! Are you serious?! Tell me again, what did you say to me!?”

Me: *pretty loud* “My brother’s mp3 player sounds bad!”

(There’s silence for a moment, then the old lady walks away without saying a thing.)

Brother: “Her hearing must be tinny.”

Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (November 21st – November 27th 2015)!

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(I work as a supervisor at a grocery store, and we have just launched a new rewards card for the store, and started asking every customer with their order if they want to get the new card. I am called over to this exchange between a cashier:)

Me: “Hi, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Your cashier is trying to track me.”

Me: “Excuse me?” *I exchange glances with my cashier, who is very confused, too*

Customer: “What don’t you understand?”

Me: “How is she trying to track you?”

Customer: “She wants me to sign up for this card so the government can see everything I buy and everywhere I go.”

(I almost start laughing, before I realize he is serious.)

Me: “Sir, this card is just a rewards card for us to keep competitive with [Competitor].”

Customer: “I don’t shop there because they’re trying to track me, too. This government wants to get me. I’ve gotta get out of here.”

(The customer proceeded to walk out of the story, leaving his groceries behind, and I haven’t seen him since.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name], and how is it I can assist you this evening?”

Customer: “MY SERVICE HAS BEEN OUT FOR AN HOUR AND HALF! FIX IT NOW!”

Me: “All right, sir. I can definitely assist you with that.”

(I go through basic troubleshooting and resolve the issue.)

Me: “All right, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?”

Customer: “YEAH! HOW DO YOU PLAN TO COMPENSATE ME FOR THIS?!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How do you plan to compensate me for this? I wasn’t able to use my service for an hour and a half. I had to just sit here with nothing to do, and then I’ve been on the phone with you for an hour and a half, and I want compensation!”

Me: “Okay, so you were out for an hour and a half and spent 15 minutes on the phone with me, and you want compensation. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes, and how much is that going to be?”

Me: “I’m not sure, sir, let me check your bill and I’ll find out.”

(Since throughout the entire call the customer had been rude and screaming at me I decide I am going to go completely by the book and not just give him a 5 dollar credit, like I normally would. After checking his bill and calculating it down perfectly to the hour and 45 minutes I come back to the phone and inform him:)

Me: “All right, sir, so after calculating how much it cost you for the hour and 45 minutes you were out of service, it comes to a grand total of 37 cents. Would you like me to apply this to your bill?”

Customer: “Oh, h***, no! I want more than that. I want your supervisor!”

Me: “Well, unfortunately my supervisor is not available at this time of night, and it cost you 37 cents for that hour and a half and how long you’ve been speaking to me. Now, is there anything else I can assist you with?”

Customer: “No!” *click*

(I did apply the 37 cents credit just to rub it in his face for being such an unpleasant person.)