(I am on the till serving customers during the Christmas season, and am just finishing up with a customer.)

Me: *handing the customer his bags* “There you are. Your receipt’s in the bag. I hope you have a lovely day, and a merry Christmas!”

Customer: *sternly* “I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

(The customer then storms out.)

Me: *speechless*

Nearby Coworker: *trying her best not to crack up laughing*

(I’m on my third Christmas working in that store now, and that customer is (luckily) the only one I’ve come across to have that reaction! Even when I’ve occasionally slipped up and wished an obvious Sikh or Muslim a Merry Christmas, they’ve always appreciated the sentiment!)

(I am working alone, and I get to choose the music playing in the store. It’s mid-December.)

Customer: “Oh, I just love the music you’re playing! What is it?”

Me: “It’s the Barenaked Ladies Holiday Album. It’s one of my favourites!”

Customer: “Oh, God. You’re one of those.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “You’re one of those idiots who thinks that saying ‘Christmas’ isn’t ‘politically correct.’ Honestly, what is happening to the world? I hate people like you, who try to make the rest of us feel like backwards hicks for saying ‘Christmas!’”

Me: “Erm… well, the album actually has several Hanukkah songs on it, as well as Christmas carols. So it’s their holiday album.”

Customer: “Oh. Do you know where I could buy it?”

(It’s the holiday season and I am Jewish. For the holidays I am allowed to wear a little pin dreidel that flashes little lights when I turn it on. Out of respect for other people’s differences of religion, I choose to opt out of saying “Merry Christmas” and instead just wish a “Happy Holidays” to everyone. A customer has just finished paying for their groceries and I have bagged everything myself, since we were short on baggers.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, you have a wonderful day and Happy Holidays!”

Customer: “No, young lady! You said it wrong! It is not Happy Holidays; it’s Merry Christmas! Honestly! You need to quit being such a terrorist! People like you are tearing this country apart!”

Me: *very confused* “Excuse me? How am I a terrorist?!

Customer: “You need to learn how to accept Christ and the Constitution in your heart and stop this hateful and destructive behavior! We need to keep the Christ in Christmas!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I am sorry if I offended you. But, Jewish and I don’t celebrate Christmas. I just try to—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “OH, MY GOD!! Does your manager know?!”

(She scoffs and leaves the store muttering how she’s never going to shop here again. The customer behind her walks up to the register shaking his head.)

Customer #2: “Christ and the Constitution? Apparently she doesn’t know what the First Amendment is.”

(I work at a convenience store that sells coffee in different flavors. One of my regulars comes in every day and gets a pot of blueberry coffee, so I nickname her Ms. Blueberry, and make sure to always have that flavor ready when she comes in. We have just gotten a shipment of St. Jude charity plush bears for the holidays.)

Ms. Blueberry: *holding up a bear* “This is cute!”

Me: “Yeah, they’re really soft, and for a good cause. A portion of the proceeds goes to the St. Jude Children’s Fund. I’m considering getting one some time.”

Ms. Blueberry: “That so? Just the coffee today.”

(She puts the bear down, pays for her coffee, and enjoys a bit more banter, then leaves. The next day, she’s back as usual. She brings her coffee to the counter and puts one of the bears up with it.)

Ms. Blueberry: “This, too.”

Me: “All right, your total is [total].”

Ms. Blueberry: *handing me her total* “The bear’s for you. Merry Christmas!”

Me: “Really? Wow, thank you!”

(I didn’t stay at that job much longer, but seeing my regulars, especially her, made the job more bearable [pardon the pun] and even, at times, enjoyable. I named the bear Blueberry, and I still have him!)

(As it is December, our store has various different kinds of Christmas trees for sale. We have one of each model fully assembled for display.)

Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me if this is the four-foot tree or the six-foot tree?”

(She points to a small Christmas tree that is level with my chest. I am about 5’11”.)

Me: “That’s definitely the four-foot tree.”

Customer: “Are you sure that it’s the four-foot tree? It’s definitely not the six-foot tree?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, that tree is definitely four feet tall.”

Customer: “How can you be sure?”

Me: “Because a six-foot tree would be taller than me.”

Customer: “Oh! I can’t believe I said that!”

(The customer’s husband, who was with us the whole time and has never spoken a word, was trying his hardest not to laugh.)