(I work in the skincare area of a large pharmacy. One very busy day a mother and her almost teenage daughter come in looking for advice. The mother has just been diagnosed with rosacea and is looking to update her skincare products. I spend around a half hour – being regularly interrupted by other customers – helping her understand the condition and find suitable products within her budget. She ends up buying a lot!)

Me: “Okay, so your total comes to €70. I’ve also given you some samples of more products to try at home!”

Mother: “Oh, how kind! Thank you! But before we go, my daughter has been getting some spots recently and I was wondering what she could start using?”

Me: *remembering that we have a free full-sized cleanser that would be perfect for her young skin, I pop it in the bag with her other items* “This gentle cleansing wash would be very gentle and non-drying on her young skin.”

Mother: “That sounds great. How much will it be?”

Me: “Absolutely free! You’re spending quite a lot already, so let it be a nice extra for you both!”

Mother: “Are you sure? Wow, that’s too much!”

Me: “You’ve been so patient and lovely that you more than deserve it! Thank you!”

(The mother and daughter thank me profusely and leave. I’m stocking shelves a little while later when someone taps me on the shoulder.)

Mother & Daughter: “You were so helpful and nice that we just had to get you something to say thank you!” *hands me a box of chocolates*

Me: “Thank you so much!”

Daughter: *hugs me and waves goodbye*

(Their thoughtfulness really made my day! I ended up sharing the chocolates with my colleagues as we were all very stressed that day!)

(I get a call in the second level about a customer who’s calling for the sixth time today because her Internet isn’t working. The first level coworker doesn’t explain what she’s found out about her problem, only warns me that the customer is really irate.)

Me: “Hello, this is [ISP] tech support. I hear your Internet isn’t working.”

Caller: “That’s right! I can’t go online, and you guys haven’t called me back! I spoke to [Coworker] today at 09:30 and he said you would call me and then you didn’t! This is outrageous!”

Me: “Ma’am, [Coworker] indeed did try to call you, repeatedly. It says in the ticket that at first you didn’t pick up and then the line was constantly busy.”

Caller: “Nonsense! I would have known if anyone had called! You’re just lying!”

Me: “I really have no other way of knowing if he called, only his notes. Let me just look at your line now and try and get you back online.”

(This calms her down, especially after I have to tell her to hang up so I can check her line. I see right away that her DSL signal is there and there are no other problems in the line that could prevent her from going online. It remains to check if her router dials in, so I call her again.)

Me: “Good news, ma’am. Your line is up and running.”

Caller: “Bull-s***! I’m still not online!”

Me: “I wanted to see why that is. Can you describe me once again the lights on your router?”

Caller: “The upper one is on, and the one all the way down is also on, but the others are off.”

Me: “Can you tell me again what model router you’re using?”

Caller: “It’s [Model].”

(Note that it is a brand that our ISP stopped selling about six years ago and it’s not been in support for more than a year, so I can’t connect the customer with the device support hotline.)

Me: “All right… So, the upper light means the device is on AND that it gets a stable signal. The lower light is the Wifi symbol; it means the device’s wireless network is active. So all we need to do is try and log your account in again. Sometimes the devices just erase them. I usually don’t do this, but I’ll make an exception just this time for you.”

Caller: “Okay, tell me how to do it.”

Me: “First, can you tell me how your computer is connected to the router? With a cable or wireless?”

Caller: “I don’t have a computer.”

Me: *after a slight pause* “How do you use the Internet?”

Caller: “With my iPad.”

Me: “All right, that should do it. If you could please get the iPad and open your browser—”

Caller: “Browser? What is that?”

Me: “The program you use for the Internet.”

Caller: “That’s Google. You should know this! Are you stupid?”

Me: “…”

(We couldn’t get her online. I gave up after I realized she had no idea how to open a website with Safari, which I somehow managed to locate. I got yelled at the whole time.)

(While shopping, I pick up just a few things on the way home. I make my way to the registers and see a lone “six items or less” line open. I then almost skid to a stop when I see someone with a mostly full cart skid to a stop. Just as I’m about to turn around and head to another lane, she looks up.)

Woman: “Oh, s***!”

Cashier: “Are you all right!?”

Woman: “No, I didn’t even see this was an express lane! Oh, shoot, I’m so sorry. Here, go, go!”

(She then proceeded to wave me and the next two people who came up ahead of her; the cashier said he’d take her still since she was letting others through, and I guess she figured that still would have been quicker than re-loading all her stuff on the cart. Or maybe it was a self-imposed penance, but whatever the case, thank you to the lady that can admit your mistakes!)

(This is for the great waiter who was smiling and polite through this whole exchange.)

My Mom: “Oh, I know exactly what I’d like!” *points in menu at full description of sandwich, including picture* “The veggie sandwich!”

Server: “Oh, the ultimate veggie, great! Anything else?”

My Mom: “No, that will be perfect. I’ve had it before!”

(Time passes, food arrives.)

My Mom: “Oh, no, no. This isn’t what I wanted! I ordered the ultimate veggie sandwich!”

Server: “Ye-es. What seems to be the problem?”

My Mom: “Last time it was different. I wanted different bread. And is there mayo? No mayo. And no onions. I hate onions!”

Me: *head in hands*

Server: “No problem. I will be right out with that.”

(We run a chilli farm, and have recently opened a retail store in a nearby city. Every single product in our store contains chillies, sauces, jams, marmalades, chocolate bars, even chilli fudge. On our first day open a lady comes in:)

Lady: “Do you have a sauce with blackcurrants in it?”

Me: “Unfortunately we don’t, but we do have a lot of blackcurrant bushes growing on the farm. We could make you a batch of blackcurrant chilli sauce.”

(A week later the lady visits the store again and is very excited when we tell her we now have a blackcurrant sauce, until she looks at the bottle and says:)

Lady: “Oh! It has chillies in it. I don’t like chillies.”