Biting The Hand That Feeds You

, , | Right | July 16, 2008

(Even though I stutter a bit, I never had any trouble helping customers. This customer thought otherwise.)

Me: “C-can I help you sir?”

Customer: *odd look* “Yes, I’d like a pack of cigarettes.”

Me: “Okay, that’s th-three ni-ninety please.”

Customer: “HELP! THIS GIRL CAN’T HELP ME!”

(At this point my colleague enters the shop, standing at the second cash register which is closed.)

Customer: “You! You can help me!”

Colleague: “I’m sorry, this cash register is closed. My colleague will help you.”

Customer: “But she can’t help me!”

(A line begins to form behind the customer.)

Customer: *to me* “So… he says you can help me.”

Me: “No, I can’t help you.”

Customer: “WHY?!”

Me: “I don’t help a**holes.”

Customer: *swears and leaves the store*


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Ah, Fathers, Part 2

, , , , | Related Right | July 16, 2008

(I’m working in an electronics retail store, and see a man in his late 40s with a kid no older then 10.)

Me: “Welcome, sir, did you get…”

(I look in his cart and see that it’s mostly filled with identical Spongebob DVDs.)

Me: “… everything?”

Man: “I guess so.”

Boy: “MORE SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!”

Man: “All right, let’s go get some more.”

(About 5 minutes later he comes back, with more Spongebob DVDs… the same ones, to be exact.)

Man: “All right, I think this is enough.”

(I ring him up, and the total comes to about $550.00 USD.)

Me: *whispering* “Uhh, sir… these are mostly the same thing.”

Man: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I hate my life anyway.”

 

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Honey, He Ain’t A Scrapbooking Project

, , , | Healthy Right | July 16, 2008

(I witnessed this on the hospital floor where I work. A patient’s daughter comes out of a hospital room and stands in the hallway, staring around looking lost.)

Nurse’s aide: “Can I help you?”

Daughter: “Yeah… can I have a stapler?”

(The nurse’s aide walks about two steps away to get a stapler and then thinks better of this request.)

Nurse’s aide: “Why do you want a stapler?”

Daughter: “My dad’s IV tubing is getting in his way. I thought it would be better if we stapled it to his arm.”

Nurse’s aide: “Um, I think tape would work better for that.”

Daughter: “You guys have tape here?”

Nurse’s aide: “Yeah, I have some here in my pocket.”

(The aide walks into the room to secure the IV tubing before any more of his genius children try to help.)

Daughter: *muttering* “I still think a stapler is a better idea…”

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My Parents Threatened To Do This Monthly

| Right | July 16, 2008

(I worked at a sandwich place. The order area had a counter. A man walks in carrying his year old child, and sets the child on the counter.)

Man: “Do you guys take trades?”

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DualShock Depreciation

, , , , | Right | July 15, 2008

(This is during Christmas time 2001 and a lot of people came in for stocking stuffers and such. I’m stocking some generic potato chips and an old woman approaches me. Keep in mind, this is a DOLLAR STORE.)

Old Woman: “Excuse me…”

Me: “Hello, may I help you find something?”

Old Woman: “Yes, do you folks have Playstation 2s?”

Me: “Uh… no, ma’am. I’m sorry, we don’t.”

Old Woman: “Oh, well, they were out of ’em at [Chain Electronics Store], so I thought you folks might have ’em.”

Me: “Well, we carry mostly overstock. Besides, PlayStation 2s are worth far more than just one dollar so I’m pretty sure we’ll never carry them…”

Old Woman: “What about after Christmas?”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t think so.”

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