(I am 15. Like many Greek Orthodox churches, my church holds an annual Greek Festival where we sell Greek food and display Greek culture. It’s my first year working there, and my older sister has promised to help me. We are the only people working at the the dessert stand. Note: Greek is the language we speak at home, so it’s the language my sister and I communicate in.)

Sister: *in Greek* “Why don’t you take this one?” *points to approaching customer*

Me: *in English* “Hi, I’m [My Name]! How may I help you today?

Customer: “DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?”

Me: “Yes, I do. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Good, I heard that other girl talking in that foreign muck and I was afraid you’d be too stupid to speak English too. Give me a dozen baklava.”

Me: *shocked* “Yes, ma’am. That’ll be [Price]. Just pay [Sister] after I load your box.”

(I start to load a styrofoam take-away box with baklava.)

Customer: “NO! I don’t want those. They’re too small. Give me the big pieces!”

(She points to galaktoboureko, a completely different dessert cut into bigger pieces than the baklava.)

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s galaktoboureko, a custard-based dessert, not baklava. If you’d like to try some I’d be happy to give you a sample—”

Customer: “Don’t you dare try to cheat me! I want the big pieces, you little foreign brat!”

Sister: *in Greek* “Just give her the galaktoboureko.”

Customer: “I know you’re insulting me in your language! Speak English like a normal person!”

(I nod and smile as I fill a new box up with galaktoboureko. She pays and walks away with a smug smile on her face.)

Me: *in Greek* “Do you think she’ll notice?”

(One hour later, the customer returns dragging the Festival Director behind her. She looks angry.)

Customer: “There! That’s the girl that cheated me! She gave me this squishy stuff instead of baklava! I demand my baklava and I want a refund!”

Festival Director: “[My Name], is this true? Did you give [Customer] the wrong dessert?”

Me: “Yes, but she asked for it. She said she wanted the big pieces, and I told her it was galaktoboureko and not baklava, but she accused me of cheating her, so I gave her what she wanted. Also, she called me a ‘little foreign brat.’”

Customer: “No! That’s a lie! She purposely tricked me, and the other girl insulted me in your language! You should really hire employees that are smart enough to speak English.”

Festival Director: “[Sister], did you insult her?” *in Greek* “I don’t blame you if you did.”

Customer: “YOU’RE DOING IT AGAIN! STOP INSULTING ME, YOU B*****S! I WANT MY FREE BAKLAVA!”

(She throws her galaktoboureko box to the ground and starts stomping on it, then moves aggressively towards my sister.)

Festival Director: “Ma’am, I’m going to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “FINE! I’LL JUST MAKE MY OWN BAKLAVA AND IT WILL BE BETTER THAN YOUR S***!”

(She storms out and security confirms that she’s left the premises.)

Sister: *in Greek* “I swear to you nothing like that has ever happened before.”

(The next year I worked in the kitchen and I liked it much better. People still talk about “crazy baklava lady.”)

Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (December 12th – December 18th 2016)!

• Registration Disassociation (968 votes)
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• Suddenly Thankful For Health Insurance (765 votes)
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See more roundups here!

(As I am leaving Major Retailer, the alarm goes off. I immediately pull my cart back from the doorway and turn to the associate stationed there to monitor the alarms. She asks me to come over to the side so she can check my purchases for a “decoding error.” I figure it is probably the computer speakers I have just picked up – it certainly isn’t the bags of chips from the grocery department.)

Security: “No need to be nervous. This happens all the time.”

Me: *smiling* “Oh, I’m not nervous. I know I didn’t steal anything.”

Security: “Oh, thank heavens. So many people get upset when this happens.”

Me: “Well, I know it’s not your fault, and I’ve worked retail before so I know what those customers are like.”

(She checks my receipt and tests the speaker box, which does indeed set off the alarm again, and makes a note for management to explain the alarm, then wishes me a good night.)

Me: “Have a good night yourself, and hopefully you won’t get yelled at before your shift ends.”

Security: *laughing* “I’ll be happy if I don’t get yelled at for ten minutes, because that would make a new record for today!”

(I work for a cell phone accessory shop inside a mall as the primary repair technician. Appointments are made through a third-party call center, and then an email with details is sent to our store; we don’t interact with a customer until they show up. A woman shows up at our kiosk with a sheet of paper in her hand.)

Customer: “I’m supposed to drop off my husband’s phone to be fixed. He said the place was here in the mall, but I can’t find it.”

(I realize that she believes we were an actual shop and not a kiosk. I check our appointments.)

Me: “We can certainly help you out. We have an appointment scheduled at 12:30 for [Husband]. Is that him?”

Customer: “I’m pretty sure this isn’t the place. He said it was called [Store], by Starbucks.”

(She obviously can’t see Starbucks behind her.)

Me: “Yes, that is us. It’s a little early, but you can still drop off—”

Customer: “No, I’m definitely sure this isn’t the place. Thank you for your help.”

(She leaves, and presumably finds another phone repair shop because she didn’t come back. Four hours pass and a man walks up to the kiosk.)

Man: “Excuse me; I’m here to pick up my phone. My wife dropped it off earlier.”

(I ask for his name, and he tells me. I realize that his wife was the woman from earlier. I inform him what happened. He rolls his eyes in disbelief.)

Man: “That woman couldn’t find water if she fell out of a canoe! I told her exactly where you guys were, and even drew her a map!”

(I had wondered what that paper in her hand was.)

(Our donut and coffee shop offers an app you can load money on and pay with like a gift card. I take an order at the drive-thru and give the customer her total.)

Me: That will be [total].”

(The customer puts her phone up with the app to pay. I scan it and notice she is about 30 cents short. I turn to tell her, reluctantly, since most people start a tirade of “I know I have enough!” as soon as I do, but she is holding exact change out.)

Me: “Oh! Most people don’t realize they are short.”

Customer: *laughing* “They do know the app shows a current balance of their card when they tap to pay, right?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Most don’t read that far.”

Customer: *shaking her head* “I am sorry you have to deal with idiots.”

Me: “Well, they haven’t had their coffee yet.”

Customer: “I’ve worked several retail jobs and in a couple hospitals. Coffee only energizes their stupidity. Have a good one!”