Racists: At Least Get Your Countries Straight

Right | August 28, 2008

(I am a student in Sweden and I just finished making a transaction for a nice Japanese couple at a tourist center. Another tourist comes up.)

Me, in Swedish: “Can I help you?”

Customer, in English: “Sure, can you tell me about…” *mumbles*

Me, in English: “Can you repeat that, please?”

Customer: “Shut up! Don’t you dare mock me! You can’t speak American, you Chino!”

Me: “I’m Russian.”

Customer: “Well, you still can’t speak American!”

Me: “I was raised in the UK. And it’s called English.”

Customer: *storms out*

Boss: “What the f*** was that about?!”

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Violence On TV, Stupidity On The Couch

, , | Right | August 28, 2008

(A video rental customer approaches with two young children.)

Customer: “Hey, you guys seen Con Air?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “Why’s it rated R?”

Me: “Well, the language is pretty strong, but it’s primarily because of the violence.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, does it have any sex in it?”

Me: “Um, not that I recall.”

Customer: “Okay, great. Hey kids, we’re getting Con Air!”

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Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2

, , | Right | August 28, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. This is [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?

Caller: “I’m trying to get in contact with Mike Hunt.”

(I check the guest list to make sure we don’t actually have a Michael Hunt staying with us.)

Me: “Yes, Mr. Hunt is sharing a room with I.P. Freely, and he asked me to give you a message: he said to not call here again until you can come up with something a little more original, you pathetic losers.”

Caller: *hangs up*

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Getting A Word In Edgewise

| Right | August 28, 2008

Customer: “I want to see that brooch.”

Me: “Here it is–”

Customer: “How much is it?”

Me: “Well, it’s–”

Customer: “You don’t need to know where I get my money from!”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, it costs–”

Customer: “I’m on a disability pension.”

Me: “It costs thirty–”

Customer: “And it’s none of your business why!”

Me: “Thirty-five dol–”

Customer: “I had an accident and broke my leg.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Do you want to know why I’m buying this?”

Me: “Umm… no, it’s okay.”

Customer: “BECAUSE GREEN IS MY FAVORITE COLOR!”

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Che Guevara, Rapping Revolutionary

, , | Friendly Right | August 27, 2008

(I overheard this in a comic book store in a trendy area of town.)

Teenager #1: *points to t-shirt of Che Guevara* “Hey, look, it’s the lead singer of Rage Against The Machine!”

Teenager #2: “I am totally buying one!”

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