(It’s two days before Christmas. Whole piglets are normally only available by special order, but because of the season, we’ve ordered in a few extra.)

Customer: “How much is a piglet?”

Coworker: “It’s $100. I think we have a couple left. Do you want me to go see?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(My coworker goes into the back, and returns with a piglet on a trolley.)

Coworker: “You’re in luck!”

Customer: “Great! Can I have a kilo?”

Coworker: “…a kilo? Of a piglet?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Coworker: “No.”

(We have many people working the registers this day as it is close to Christmas, I call out to the next customer at the same time that Coworker does. The customer looks between us before deciding to go to my coworker’s register.)

Me: *jokingly* “That’s okay; I’m not offended. I’ll just go cry in the corner.”

Customer: *at [Coworker]’s register* “Aw, do you need a cookie?”

Me: “Well, I never turn down a cookie!”

(The customer, Coworker, and I proceeded to have a funny conversation about never turning down a cookie unless you suspect it’s laced with poison. Some time later, the customer returned and handed me a box and said, “Don’t turn them down.” She had gone and bought a box of cookies from our cafe for all the cashiers to share. To that customer, thank you for being so kind and for making the holiday rush a little better for all of us!)

(In line at a popular chain coffee shop, I can overhear the cashier telling customers that the previous customer has paid for their drinks – “pay it forward” – and each customer is then paying for the next customer. The lady in front of me makes her order, and then it comes time to pay.)

Cashier: “The customers are doing ‘Pay It Forward’ today. Your drink has been paid for by the last customer!

Lady: “Oh, that’s so nice! Thank you!” *leaves*

Cashier: *to me* “Wow. I… I’m so sorry. Everyone else has carried this on.”

Me: “No problem. I’ll take a—”

(I try to hand the cashier a $5 but she holds out her hand.)

Cashier: “Wait, I might be able to make it from the change pot.”

(She takes the cup that she’s been dropping odd change into, and proceeds to count out small change. There is just enough for my drink.)

Cashier: *with a huge smile* “There! Your drink has been paid for!”

Me: “Thank you! Here, pay it forward.” *I hand her the $5 and she puts it into the change pot for the next customer*

Cashier: “Thank you SO much! Happy holidays!”

(I am working the returns desk after Christmas. Our company has a somewhat flexible return policy; you are allotted store credit if you do not have a receipt. However, you will be given credit worth the most recent sale price, since we have no way of knowing when the item was purchased.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this lamp.” *she places it violently on the counter*

Me: “Certainly! If I could just scan your receipt—”

Customer: “I don’t f****** have it.”

Me: *taken aback, but friendly* “Oh, that’s all right. I can give you store credit.”

(The customer nods sullenly. I process the return and tell her the total; around $18.)

Customer: “You’re s***ing me! I paid $20 for that lamp!”

Me: “Sorry. You’re right, it’s selling for $20 right now, but since you have no receipt, and we can’t tell when you purchased it or what you paid, you’re automatically given the most recent sale price, and this product was $2 off last week.”

Customer: “Well, that’s f****** bull-s***!” *she takes the lamp and storms out*

(Most people are just happy to get anything back at all without a receipt!)

Customer: “Can I return this item without a receipt? It was a Christmas gift and I don’t want it.”

Me: “You can, but it’ll ring up at the lowest price it’s been over the last 90 days, and I know that was on sale a few weeks ago, so you’ll be getting that sale price back for it.”

Customer: “But I’m pretty sure he paid full price for it. It’s not my fault your store doesn’t issue gift receipts.”

Me: “We still issue regular receipts, and we let people go past the regular 30 day return policy if it was a Christmas gift.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have the receipt, so why can’t you give me the full price for it?”

Me: “Because that’s how our system works. Without a receipt, it comes up at the lowest price it’s been sold at, whether it was from a sale or a price match to a different store.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I don’t want it!”

Me: “Can you ask the person who gave it to you for the receipt?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Then that’s all we can do.”

Customer: “This is so STUPID! I’m going somewhere else to take it back.”

Me: *to myself* “And that’s why return policies are a thing.”