(I’m the customer in this scenario. I have pre-booked tickets to see ‘Mockingjay,’ bought popcorn and a slush drink, and am just waiting in line for my ticket to be checked.)

Clerk: “Are you sure you booked the right cinema? We’re not showing this film at nine pm.”

Me: “Oh! Well, I thought I did it right but that does sound like something I would do…”

Clerk: “I’ll check with my colleague.” *he goes to the colleague, smiles, and comes back* “Er, you’re a day early. Mockingjay isn’t released until tomorrow.”

(I am a cashier at a well-known buffet chain. A customer comes in and starts walking up the side of the front with no cashier.)

Customer: “This side is free.”

Me: “No, but I will gladly ring you up over here.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I am actually here to start a job.”

(The customer is in no way dressed to be one of our employees but I go to get a manager. anyway. when he stops me.)

Customer: “No, I’m not really. Three, please.”

(From there, things go normally. I ring him and his friends on one of his friend’s cards. They go on their way in. Not long after that, another family comes in with a service dog. I ring them through. After, the original customer comes up to me)

Customer: “Excuse me; I have a question for you.”

Me: “Yes, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you guys allow dogs in here?”

(Knowing what dog he is talking about I give him a reply.)

Me: “Service dogs, yes.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***. I want my money back.”

(Not wanting to argue, I proceed to call a manager to the front. The one who comes is our general manager, an ex-army man. I explain the situation to him and he goes to talk to the guy.)

Customer: “This is f****** bulls***! How can you allow dogs to be in a place where people eat?”

Manager: “Sir, first of all, watch your language; there are kids here. And second, we have to allow service dogs in here; it is the law.”

Customer: “It’s bulls***! What if the dog’s hair gets in the food?!”

Manager: “What if human hair gets in the food? Should I ban all humans?”

Customer: “Okay, well, what if I walk around barefoot?”

Manager: “You can’t. it’s not allowed.”

Customer: “But a dog can?”

Manager: “Yes.”

Customer: “So a dog has more rights than I do?”

Manager: “Yes, he does.”

Customer: “This is bulls***!”

(The customer then goes back to his table, but the manager has had enough, especially with the swearing, and goes and tells the guy he needs to leave, now. It is decided that since he hasn’t been here very long we will at least refund him his meal. When refunding meals back onto a card, most of the time the same card is required to be swiped again to put the money back. Luckily, since it is still so soon after he ate, it just reverses the charge.)

Customer: “Where’s my money?”

Me: “It is back on the card it was rung on, sir.”

Customer: “But where is my money?!”

Manager: “Sir, it is back on your friend’s card. You are not getting cash back.”

(The customer then started to leave, but not without telling everyone he passed that there was a dog in the building. Everyone in line either looked confused or just didn’t care.)

This story is part of our Service Animals roundup!

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Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (April 3rd – April 9th 2017)!

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See more roundups here! Don’t forget to check out this week’s comic! You can also check out this week’s episode of our show!

(On my way back to the break room, I see an older lady looking very befuddled out the front door.)

Me: “Is something the matter, ma’am?”

Older Lady: “Hmm, yes, is that allowed?”

(She points out the door. I see that a large van parked on the ramp that leads up to the front of the store.)

Me: “No, it is not.”

(I walk to the car and see that a man, who must be in his 80s, is on the phone, and has a giant head wound that is bleeding and has been bandaged with duct tape.)

Me: “Sir, I need you to move your car… Er, better yet, maybe you shouldn’t be driving at all.”

Older Man: *ignores me and instead starts speaking louder on the phone* “I need to write down all of this. You want me to get what and what?!”

Me: “Sir, please! You need to get out of the car so we can assist you!”

Older Man: *finally turning to me* “You want me to move?!”

Me: “Yes!”

Older Man: “All right, I’ll park somewhere else!” *goes back to phone conversation*

Me: “Uh, sir…”

Older Man: “I WILL MOVE WHEN I WANT TO!”

(I do not like being yelled at and I know I’m not good at holding my tongue, so I decide it’s best for my boss to talk to him and go on break. Later the man comes up to the check stand with one single drink.)

Older Man: “You lot didn’t have what I needed.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, what were you looking for?”

Older Man: *starts to mutter* “YOU NEED TO HAVE MORE STUFF!”

(He then proceeded to hobble out on a slightly broken cane. I tried to convince my boss otherwise, but he decided that the elder, disoriented, clearly concussed man would be just fine on the road.)

(I work in catering for a popular local restaurant and schedule deliveries throughout the region, mostly for businesses. On this day we’re preparing for a massive winter storm to hit overnight. I’m calling customers to reschedule the next day’s deliveries. I call an office at a very prestigious university to ask when they’ll be rescheduling their meeting.)

Me: “…so we’re just calling to see if you already have another date for your order or if you just want it placed on file until you do.”

Customer: “So you’re telling me I can’t have my order tomorrow?”

Me: “If possible we’ll get out any orders that are still needed, but the way things are looking now it’s doubtful.”

Customer: “Well, why?”

Me: “I’m sure you’ve seen, they’re calling for record-breaking snowfall tonight. If the storm is anywhere near as bad as they’re predicting we won’t be open tomorrow and won’t be sending out any deliveries.”

Customer: “So, I’m not going to have any food for my meeting?”

Me: “Honestly, I doubt you’ll even have a meeting. Half the colleges in the area have already announced shut-downs, so [University] will probably close tomorrow, too.”

Customer: “This is a very important meeting; they won’t cancel it. I don’t see why you can’t get my order here.”

Me: “Sir, we do everything possible to accommodate our customers. But if there is over a foot of snow tonight I can’t ask a delivery driver to risk their safety to drive down there for the sake of your lunch. If there is no storm we will get you your sandwiches, but right now I don’t think that will be an option. I’m actually leaving work right after this call because the city is already shutting down the trains. So do you have a date you would like me to reschedule for, or should I just keep the order on file for now?”

Customer: “Just keep the order in for tomorrow!”

(I left work early to avoid being stranded. An hour later I got a text from my manager to let me know that the customer had called back because the university had cancelled all operations. He was, obviously, completely unapologetic. And his “very important” meeting was just a routine monthly budget update for his department.)