Hurricane Ida is getting ready to hit, so I go to the store to stock up on groceries [booze]. I forgot my ID.

Cashier: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

And then she just rang me up. I was tired, and I meant to say, “Sorry, I just realized I don’t have it!” or something polite, but I could only say no. She must’ve just accepted her fate.

I’m a female with what I’ve been told is a boy’s name. Let’s just say it’s “Sky”. The issue is that I’ve literally never met or even heard of someone that has the same name as me. This happened to me recently at the brand-new hotel where I work, which is located in a city dominated by another brand. We also just opened a few months ago, so often when people stay with us, they tend to compare us to the other brand.

It is around two hours into my shift when the phone rings.

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Fancy Hotel Brand]. My name is Sky; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. Are you actually at the front desk? Because I want to speak to someone on the property.”

I’m slightly surprised by her bluntness.

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am here in [City]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I wanted to book a reservation for my son and daughter-in-law tonight.”

Me: “Okay, absolutely no problem. Were you looking to book just for the night?”

Caller: “Yes. You see, I just want to hear your prices. I usually stay with [Competitor Brand], but I didn’t like the front desk person’s attitude, so I’m looking for a new hotel. Maybe you guys might be it.”

Me: “Okay, well, let’s see what we’ve got here. Were you looking for just a king bed for tonight?”

Caller: “Of course. They’re married; they’re not going to sleep on separate beds.”

Me: “Okay, I was just checking. It looks like that will be [price] for a king bed just for the night. That does not include breakfast.”

Caller: “Okay. Can I just give you the card number to have him check in?”

Me: “Actually, it’s company policy to fill out a Credit Card Authorization Form for us to use the card for someone other than the listed cardholder. If you give me a good email address, I can send it to you.”

Caller: “No. Absolutely not. I’m not doing that.”

I’m at a complete loss at this point.

Me: “Well… um… it’s company policy, and unfortunately, I can’t run your card for another guest without the form or your signature.”

Caller: “Can I come in and then book a reservation?”

Me: “Yes, as long as we’re able to swipe your card and have you sign for the room, we don’t need the form.”

Caller: “Great, then I’ll be in.”

Me: “Perfect! If you come in before 3:00 pm, I’ll be the one you’re dealing with.”

Caller: “Great. What was your name?”

Me: “Sky — S-K-Y — and I work at the front desk.”

Caller: “Wait, Sky not Skyler?”

Me: “That’s correct.”

Caller: “How do you spell that?”

Me: “S-K-Y. Like Skyler without the L-E-R.”

Caller: “And you’re a girl?”

I’m now annoyed and confused about why that matters.

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am.”

Caller: “But that’s a boy’s name. And you’re spelling it wrong.”

Me: “I’ll be sure to let my parents know. Have a nice day.”

Public Service Announcement! Please remember: when verbally abusing Front Desk Representatives, please limit personal attacks to two minutes as we do have other guests to attend to!

Our delivery area is kind of strange. We go three miles in one direction but only one mile in the other. I don’t understand how they determined our delivery area.

I answer the phone and the lady on the other end is immediately on the offensive.

Caller: “Hi. I’d like to order some pizzas for delivery and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t deliver to me! I’m only two miles from where you are. Two miles! If you don’t deliver to me, I’m going to go to [Competitor]!”

Me: “Okay. May I have your address, please?”

She gives it to me, and I immediately know that this is not in our delivery area, but I put it into the ordering computer anyway just to be sure.

Me: “I’m sorry. But you are not in our delivery area.”

Caller: “TWOOOOOO MIIIIIILES! I’M ONLY TWOOOOOOO MIIIIIILES FROM YOU!”

Me: “I understand, ma’am. Our delivery area is shaped pretty weirdly, but I think corporate has plans to build another store in your area.”

Caller: “TWOOOOOO MIIIIIIILES! I guess I’m going to [Competitor], then, if you won’t deliver to me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not allowed to take a delivery order outside our area.”

Caller: *In a very condescending tone* “Looks like I’m going to [Competitor]!”

Me: “Have a nice day.”

I work as a cashier at a popular pet store. A certain cat food that is very popular is having production problems, so we are very short on certain flavors of said food. Most customers understand that this is not our fault, but then there are some like this woman.

Me: “Hi there! Were you able to find what you were looking for today?”

This is a standard greeting I use for every customer I greet at the register.

Customer: *Yelling* “No! I never find what I’m looking for now! And I can’t stand when you all ask that over and over!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. I’m required to ask every customer. Are you referring to the cat food shortage? Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about that as it is the producer that is not shipping us the product.”

Customer: “I don’t care! This is all my cat will eat. You have to get more! I’m sick of not finding what I’m looking for!”

Me: “I apologize again, ma’am, but there is honestly nothing we can do—”

Customer: “Get the manager; this is ridiculous!”

Me: *Thinking* “Gladly…”

The manager comes over. Little does she know, he is a no-nonsense man and does NOT believe the customer is always right. After listening to her rant:

Manager: “So, you want us to somehow force the production company to send us a product they don’t have and can’t make at the moment?”

Customer: “Well, that’s not what I sai—”

Manager: “That’s what you just said to me, ma’am. I was just summarizing for you.”

Customer: “So, I’m dumb now, huh?”

Manager: “Not at all, ma’am. We just can’t do anything for you. Your best bet is to call the production company.”

Customer: “I’ll do that!”

After she snatches her purchases out of my hand, she stomps out. My manager just laughs and shakes his head.

Me: “You know they’re just going to tell her to get bent, right?”

Manager: “Oh, I know, but at least she’ll be on hold for a good hour, though.”

A customer comes into the store and decides to purchase a clearance lamp. He approaches me and tries to get me to give him an extra discount on top of the clearance price.

Me: “Why? Is it damaged?”

Customer: “No, it’s just a gift for my wife and she won’t use it that much.”

Me: *Pauses* “No, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Oh, well, then, maybe you could help me out and buy it for me with your employee discount?”

Me: “No, I can’t. I could get fired; plus, my discount is only ten percent.”

Customer: *Leaning in close to me* “Nobody would know; it’s between you and me.”

I point up to the ceiling to the cameras with a deadpan expression.

Customer: “You could meet me somewhere and I will give you the money, and then we can meet again later so I can get the lamp. We don’t have to do it all at once.”

Me: “Uh, no. Still not happening.”

He made frustrated noises, muttered, “Aw, man, you suck,” and then reluctantly paid for the lamp and left with it.

You must be thinking that it must be a really expensive lamp to make it worth all the running around for a ten-percent discount.

Nope, the lamp was $47. The discount would have been less than $5 savings.

I told the store manager about it and he had a good laugh. He said I should have told him I could give him a five-dollar discount for a ten-dollar upcharge. 

I’ll have to keep that one in mind!