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The customer is NOT always right!

When Your Ignorance Is The Toast Of The Town

, , , , , | Right | January 14, 2022

I am stocking shampoos when a girl in her late teens or early twenties approaches.

Customer: “Can you tell me where the toast is?”

Me: “The… toast?”

Customer: “Yes. I need to buy some toast.”

Me: “We don’t sell already made toast. Would you like me to point you to the bread aisle?”

Customer: “Is that what toast is made from?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “I’ll take the bread, then!”

I point out the bread aisle and she’s happily on her way. An older man who has been standing nearby comes up to me after this exchange.

Customer: “I can’t believe you got through that without laughing! Do you think she was drunk, high, or pranking you?”

Me: “I don’t know, but at least she’s happy!”

Their Knowledge Is A Bit Floppy, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | January 14, 2022

Back in the 1990s, my IT college tutor was regaling the class with a story about his time working on a helpdesk for his old company.

One client, in particular, kept phoning to complain that he couldn’t get the floppy disks to work. At the time, the huge 5.25-inch actually-floppy floppies were the height of sophistication.

After taking several calls about the same issue, sending and resending batches of the disks to the client, and being unable to make any sense of it, my tutor got permission to visit the client and try to work out what was going on.

When he got there, he asked the client to show him what he was doing when the issue occurred.

To his utter amazement, the client took a brand-new disk from the packet, proceeded to peel the thick protective cover off the disk, and then try to insert the round, thin, magnetic storage part into the drive.

Apparently, the client had wondered why there was so much “packaging” around the disk, and on pulling one apart the first time, decided that the magnetic storage looked so fragile that the additional “packaging” made sense.

Their Knowledge Is A Bit Floppy

Let This Be The Winter Of Your Content

, , , , , , , , | Right | January 14, 2022

I’m looking to buy a digital camera as a gift for a friend who I know needs one. The camera I have is very good and I know it would suit my friend’s needs, so I’m looking for another one online. I find a seller on [Auction Website] selling a new one for a good price with cheap shipping, so I order it right away.

I live in a relatively small town in North Dakota, and the winters can be pretty harsh, so I think nothing of it when I get an email from the seller about the camera, telling me that the shipment may be delayed due to a bad winter storm in their area. I reply, saying that it’s fine and I understand, as my area is also currently experiencing a bad winter storm.

Out of curiosity, I navigate to the seller’s page to see where they are shipping from. To my surprise, they are shown as being in the same small North Dakota town I’m in! And somehow, neither of us noticed this before.

I have a laugh and email the seller again, pointing out the funny coincidence, and offering to just meet them somewhere local and pick up the camera if they would prefer. They reply with equal astonishment and amusement and agree to meet at a coffee shop for the hand-off.

We meet and share another laugh about the situation, and they even refund me the shipping charge in cash.

You Keep Using That Phrase…

, , , | Right | CREDIT: ItchyScallion | January 14, 2022

I used to work at a call centre, where a big part of my job was managing warranty claims on faulty handsets. A customer called in, having made a complaint before, and having been given a resolution for a refund of £1,700 (USD $2,300) to his account. Not too shabby.

However, it had been ten days — our timescale — and still, no refund.

I couldn’t see any reason why there had been a delay, so went to speak to a manager who could check how the payment was coming along. It turned out someone had just made a dumb error, and the payment hadn’t gone through. Easily fixed, thankfully.

We made payments by submitting a VERY tightly secured form. I explained this, and seeing he had some data concerns from the notes on his account, I assured him his data was very safe.

I apologised to the customer and advised him that, as management was aware of this and closely keeping an eye on it, he should get his big juicy payment around the middle of next week. I apologised profusely for the delay; it wasn’t his fault at all, of course. He seemed to be agreeable, and just as I was about to wind the call down…

Customer: “Wait. Do you not need my card details?”

Me: “No, my colleague who took your last call submitted everything using your bank account details, and we’ve double-checked that it’s all there. You don’t need to do anything else at all to get the refund.”

Customer: “But then how do I know my payment is coming?”

Me: “I’m sorry for the delay. It should be with you by Wednesday next week at the latest.”

Customer: “But you don’t have my card details.”

Me: “My colleague on your last call took all the details we need to get that refund sorted — just your bank account details, for a bank transfer.”

Customer: “Well, that’s money laundering, then, isn’t it?”

Me: *Pauses* “Um… no, we do not need card details to make a bank transfer.”

Customer: “But I paid for my phone by card. You’re using one way to take money and another to give it back.”

Me: “The refund is being paid by bank transfer. It is not money laundering, just a means of refunding you for the £1,700 agreed on during your last call.”

Customer: “But that’s money laundering.”

It took about ten minutes to communicate what a bank transfer is.

This man has children. And I’ve never seen someone so loath to get a free £1,700.

10 More Punny Stories To Groan Over And Share With Your Friends!

, | Right | January 14, 2022

Dear readers,

PUNS. They make us groan, they make us chortle and slap our knees, and they make language a lot more fun. We love puns around here (and our commenters do, too!), and even more than that, we love inflicting them on our readers!

Please enjoy these 10 pun-tacular stories from our archives, and be sure to leave some of your own in the comments!


I’ll Raise A Glass To That Pun! – The mark of a good pun is a response like this.

Death By Chocolate, Part 8 – We’d make an ice cream joke, but it’s too spoon.

Hammering Home The Dad Jokes – He has truly ascended to Peak Dad Status.