(I am working in a grocery store when I overhear a woman and her two young kids. They’re currently looking at the eggs.)

Customer: “Why are there no organic eggs?”

Customer’s Son: “Mom, can’t we take these?” *holds up a box of regular eggs*

Customer: *looks at the “best before” date* “No, we can’t take these! Just look at how long these stay good. There must be tons of preservatives! “

(I left to go to the back room before laughing. Apparently the customer has never looked at the date on the organic eggs that’s just as long. It’s still a mystery to just how she imagined the preservatives are put on eggs.)

(My friends and I are on a road trip and we stop to get snacks. The store is bustling, and we go through the self-checkout section, thinking it will be faster as we each just have a drink and a food item, and the lines are long at the staffed registers. These self-checkout registers state at the beginning that they do not provide cash back, and you have to hit a button that says you understand before you can go through with scanning and paying. I check out and then wait on my friend, who is taking an extra long time to ring up her couple of items. After a minute or two, I go over to see what’s taking so long.)

Friend: “It’s giving me an error! All I wanted was cash back.”

Me: “You asked for cash back? Didn’t you see the message at the beginning?”

Friend: “Oh, I saw it had a message, but I just hit okay and didn’t read it.”

Me: *facepalm*

Friend: “Oops.”

(An associate ended up having to come over to clear the message, and then they had to open the machine to pull out the cash back that had been calculated by the machine already. She didn’t seem too happy, but we apologized profusely for being THOSE customers. I’m sure her Saturday had been full of people like us already!)

Related:
Cash Back Attack, Part 5
Cash Back Attack, Part 4
Cash Back Attack, Part 3

(I am riding a train to Tennessee for a relative’s wedding. I just got off of a train and I am transferring to another one. My previous train was delayed, so I arrived four hours late. My next train is starting in a few minutes, so I take a ride on a cart to get there faster. Suddenly, an old lady approaches the driver.)

Lady: “Sir, could I please get on? My train leaves in two hours and I would like to be there early.”

Cart Driver: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this young man is already on, and with his luggage, the cart is too full to take another person.”

Lady: “I’m eighty f****** years old! I deserve the cart more than this man!”

Cart Driver: “His train leaves in a minute, ma’am.”

Lady: “Well, I’m old, so I have privileges!”

Cart Driver: “I’m afraid not, ma’am. Your train leaves in two hours. This man’s train is leaving very soon.”

Lady: *starts hitting the driver with her purse* “Who the h*** do you think you are?”

Cart Driver: “Ma’am, I will come back for you. Let me just take this man.”

(He drives away, and luckily, I make it to my train on time. Once I’m on, I see a younger woman approach the driver with the same old lady.)

Younger Woman: “How dare you not take my mother on?! You should be fired!”

Cart Driver: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

Younger Woman: “You should be! My mother and I have to make it to our train!”

(As the train left, I felt sorry for the poor guy.)

(Lately, a law was passed in France forbidding plastic bags in shops, to prevent pollution and people throwing plastic bags everywhere. Where I work, the CEO has decided to offer paper bags that cost 0,05 euros. You can, of course, leave without a bag or use one of your own. It is a Friday night. I am the youngest salesperson in the shop, so I have to attend the cash register. I also attend college for English studies. A man comes up to me with several items. At that moment, I don’t realise he is American and that he doesn’t speak fluent French.)

Me: “Would you like a paper bag?”

Customer: “I don’t care. Give me a plastic bag.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir. We don’t have them anymore; we just have those bags that cost 0,05 euros.”

(He is joined by his son, who asks me for a bag to carry the items, still in French. I explain to him that we don’t have free bags and that he will have to pay for one. Suddenly the older man starts yelling at me, in English:)

Customer: “I want a plastic bag! I’m an American! I shouldn’t have to follow French laws!”

Me: *in English* “Sorry, but you have to follow the law of the country.”

(His son brought a bag, clearly pissed at his dad and embarrassed, and they left. A week after, I learned that they complained about me and my “lack of professionalism” on the customer experience website.)

Me: “You’re speaking to [My Name] on tech support. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Did you not speak to your colleague?”

Me: “I do apologise, but no one has spoken to me before transferring you through. How can I help?”

Customer: “Go back and speak to your colleague to explain the problem; I am not going through it again!”

Me: “I’m very sorry that this has happened, but I have no way of knowing who transferred you through to me. I am more than happy to help you if you let me know what the problem is.”

Customer: “FOR F***’S SAKE! I’M F****** SICK OF THIS S***!”

Me: “Again, I am really sorry that this has happened. Please remember that I did not do this to you and just want to help fix your problem.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!” *hangs up*

(Clearly there is no helping some people.)