(I take a woman’s order. I always like to ask the customers if they want something to drink as I prepare their order to go. When I ask this woman, she says no. As I’m almost done ringing her up…)

Customer: “Oh, can I also get a large ice water with ice?”

Me: “Sure! I’ll get the water before you pay!”

Customer: “Make sure you don’t forget the ice!”

Me: “I’m sure I won’t!”

(As I’m filling her cup with ice, wishing I could just happen to forget it, I fill it up with water from the sink and bring it over to the register.)

Me: *trying to be nice in my most sarcastic way so she won’t pick up on it, and smiling* “Here’s your ice water with ice!”

Customer: “Thanks!” *completely serious* “And there’s ice in there, right?”

(I work in a store in a new department that they just opened. The store is now bigger with this new department, but the storage area is not, so we put the merchandise that we can’t place on the racks in shelves just on top. A woman has an item in her hand and is looking at our shelves with determination…)

Me: “Hi there. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need this item—” *pointing to the one in her hand* “—do you have more up there?”

Me: *looking on the rack, there are about five of them right in front of her* “Well, I know that there are those ones, and maybe two or three more up there. How many do you need?”

Customer: “Only one.”

Me: *confused* “Do you need another color than that?”

Customer: “No! Only one just like that!“

Me: “Okay? Is this one broken?”

Customer: *yelling* “Oh, you don’t understand!”

(She then left without the item… I still don’t understand.)

(I pump gas at a full-service gas station at a time when gas costs between a buck and a buck-fifty. A crusty geezer comes in and gripes about prices.)

Customer: “When I was your age, gas cost 17 cents a gallon!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: *continues b****ing about gas price* “…17 cents a gallon!”

Me: “Sir, when you were my age, how long did it take to earn 17 cents?”

Customer: *grumbles under breath and walks away*

(I work in a store that makes balloon displays. A customer has ordered a large quantity of balloons and I’m packing them into bags. It’s quite clear there are still plenty of balloons to be packed because they’re behind the till. It’s hailing heavily outside and the customer is already irate because he needs to get the balloons safely home.)

Me: *passes one bag to customer* “Here’s the first bag. I’ll just pack up the rest.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

(I turn around to open up another carrier bag. When I turn back, the customer is gone. I look at my colleague, confused.)

Me: “Where did he go?”

Colleague: “He went out the door. Run after him!”

(I have a lung condition and cannot go sprinting after the customer, especially not in the cold and hail, and I also have another customer waiting. When they realise this, my colleague runs after the customer, but cannot find him. An hour later, the phone rings. It’s the same customer.)

Customer: “I bought some balloons earlier and you only gave me half of them! I need the rest right now!”

Me: “With respect, I explained that the bag only contained half the balloons, and you left before I had the chance to give you the rest.”

Customer: “It’s not my fault; it’s yours! I’m not coming back into town, so you need to bring the balloons to my house right now or my party will be ruined!“

(To dispel the situation, my manager ended up driving out of town to the customer’s house, dropping the balloons off, and apologising for my “bad service” because “the customer is always right.” I really hope the balloons deflated.)

(I work in a home improvement center. Sometimes we are able to sell discontinued items off the floor. This item is a very expensive vanity that has been discontinued for several years.)

Customer: “I like this vanity a lot. How much does this one cost?”

Me: “Luckily, that one is discontinued! It’s the last of its kind. The discounted price is $500.00. It used to list in the thousands.”

Customer: “That’s not a bad deal. I’ll take it.”

Me: “Wonderful! Follow me and I’ll write that up for you. Since it’s discontinued, you can take it home off the floor today. We offer delivery, as well. I was pretty sad when they stopped making that item.”

Customer: “I can see why. It’s beautiful. I need two.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s discontinued. The only one left is this one here.”

Customer: “Oh, well, just write me up for two of them. That would be $1,000, right?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This is the last one. It has been for a long time, since the company stopped making that item. It’s not possible to get a second one.”

Customer: “Oh, whatever. I know that is just a marketing ploy to make people think they are getting a deal.”

Me: “It’s really not a ploy. Items with the stickers on them in the store are no longer being made. They are usually the last ones we have and will be able to get.”

Customer: “Listen, sweetie, just type up my order. Don’t make me talk to your boss.”

Me: “I would be very happy to have my boss explain this, also. I can show you the product list from this manufacture, and this vanity set will not be listed. It is on one from 2012. They stopped making it after that year.”

Customer: “Look, I’m being patient. Now you are wasting my time.”

Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, but there is nothing I can do about this situation. It is not possible to get another vanity like this one, unless you have one custom made to match.”

Customer: “Fine. I’ll take my business elsewhere. You just lost your store $1,000! I’ll take the vanity information to [Competitor].”

Me: “You are free to shop where you wish; however, that store has never carried this brand and will not be able to get a discontinued item.”

Customer: “We will see about that!”

(A little while later, I got a call from the other store asking if we had any of these vanities, since they don’t carry that brand and didn’t know it was discontinued. I feel bad for the salesperson who had to deal with the fallout over there.)