Me: “Can I help you find anything?”
Customer: “I need an atlas without any maps.”
Me: *extremely puzzled* “Sorry, an atlas, which is a book of maps, without any maps in it?”
Customer: “Yes, do you have any?”
Me: “I don’t think so, but you’re in the section with all the atlases, so you’re free to look through them if you’d like.”
(I’m working a busy shift and a couple comes over with some Pick’n’Mix from the candy area. While I am checking them out my manager (who is pregnant) comes over and says:)
Manager: “Excuse me, sir, I saw you eating the candy before you paid for it; you can’t do that!”
(He says sorry and my manager leaves. Once she does, his wife says:)
Wife: “Look, honey, now two pregnant women have yelled at you.”
(At the ISP where I work, tech support is open 24/7 while other departments have “normal” working hours. This exchange happened at about 10 pm, after all the other departments have closed.)
Me: “[ISP]. This is [My Name] at your service.”
Customer: “My Internet isn’t working! Fix It!”
(The customer gives me the information to bring up his account.)
Me: “Sir, I see you haven’t paid us the past couple of months. That’s why your Internet has cut off. I’m afraid there’s nothing to be done except to speak to customer service tomorrow during their working hours.”
Customer: “And who exactly is going to pay for the twelve hours I’m disconnected until I can talk to them?!”
(I am working in a chicken shop. It has ‘chicken’ in the name, chickens all over the decor, and chickens on display.)
Customer: “Do you sell burgers?”
Me: “We sell chicken burgers; would you like one?”
Customer: “No, I want a beef burger.”
Me: “Sorry, we only sell chicken here.”
Customer: “Can you make me a jam sandwich?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry, we only sell chicken here. I can make you a chicken sandwich.”
Customer: “No, I want a jam sandwich. Can’t you just make me one? I’ll pay for it.”
Me: “I would happily make you a jam sandwich, but we don’t have any jam here; just chicken.”
Customer: “You don’t have any jam?”
Me: “Sorry, just chicken.”
Customer: “Okay.”
(He walked out and headed toward the fish and chip shop. I wondered if he was going to ask them for a jam sandwich.)
(A few years ago I worked in a supermarket putting together orders for people who do their shopping online. An older man stops me in the middle of the cleaning supply aisle. I’m female.)
Customer: “Where is the window cleaner?”
(I point him in the right direction and continue working. About a minute later, in a different aisle, the man approaches me, holding two different bottles of window cleaner.)
Customer: “Which is better?”
Me: “Honestly, I don’t know. I live with my parents and have never actually cleaned windows.”
Customer: “How can you not know? You’re a girl, aren’t you? You should know about cleaning supplies!”
Me: “…”
