(I am standing in line at a gas station/convenience store. It’s fairly busy. While the cashier is waiting on the customer in front of me, a man comes in looking very upset.)

Man: “HEY!”

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you, sir. I need to finish with the people in line.”

Man: “No, I just need to wash my clothes. NOW!”

Cashier: “Sir, we’re a gas station. We don’t wash clothes.”

Man: “Why is the ‘laundry mat’ closed?”

Customer At Register: “The laundromat next door?”

Man: “Yes! Shut up! I’m talking to HIM!” *points at cashier*

Me: “The one that is being torn down?”

Man: “YES! Why is it closed? I need to wash my clothes!”

Cashier: “Sir, I really can’t help you. The building next door is not part of our business. It is being torn down. They are no longer in business.”

Man: “D*** it! Open it now! I have to wash these clothes. I have places to be. I’m in a hurry.” *he slams his fist on the counter and starts to lean over towards the cashier*

(By now the first customer has left. The cashier is looking tense. I put my items on the counter and step outside to call police. They arrive fairly quickly. The man is still inside, yelling. The police escort him outside; I pay for my things and return to my car. As I’m getting in the car I hear him.)

Man: “But the door is wide open! All the front windows are still there. They can’t be out of business or they would lock the door!”

Cop: “Sir, I’m pretty sure they aren’t locking the door because there’s literally only one wall still standing.”

(I have just finished delivering a pizza to an apartment complex and am walking back to my car when I pass a little boy, no older then four, and his mother when this happens.)

Little Boy: “Bye, pizza lady. I love you!”

Me: *laughing* “I don’t think it’s me you love. It’s the pizza!”

Cashier: “Would you like a bag?”

Customer: *with s***-eating grin* “What kind of question is that? Would you take a bag?”

Cashier: “If I wasn’t with a family of five with a stroller that has an undercarriage, or people who can carry a small bag of chips, a small bag of M&M’s, and a water bottle, then no, I wouldn’t need a bag.”

(I am a manager at a fast food restaurant. Like most quick serve restaurants these days there is a self serve beverage counter in the lobby for customers to fill their own drinks. I am watching the counter for a cashier while she goes to the bathroom and a customer comes in with her young child. They order food; I hand them their receipt with their order number on it. I then bag up their food and hand it to them.)

Customer: “We ordered this to go.”

Me: “Yup. That’s why it’s in a bag. Anything else I can get you?”

Customer: “You didn’t get us our drinks.”

Me: “Your cups are right here.” *I point to the cups sitting next to her bag of food* “Did you need another drink?”

Customer: “But I ordered this to go.”

Me: “Uh… yes, that’s why I bagged it for you.”

Customer: “But you didn’t get us our drinks.”

Me: “Well, it’s a self serve fountain machine. You fill your own cups.”

Customer: “But I ordered it to go.”

Me: “I know, but we don’t make the drinks for walk in customers.”

Customer: “So I have to fill my own drink, even though I ordered it to go?”

Me: “Yes. The fountain machine is there for your convenience.”

Customer: *to her daughter* “Come on, honey, I guess we have to get our own drinks.”

(Even more amazing, this isn’t the first time I’ve had this conversation.)

(This has been a pretty busy night and we’re short-staffed so our phone lines are starting to back up.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Well, I’m looking for someone to answer the d*** phone.”

Me: “I’m sor—”

Customer: “You need to tell me what store delivers to [Nearby Municipality].”

Me: “Oh, tha—”

Customer: “Their phone number is what? [correct first three numbers]…”

Me: “Tw—”

Customer: “[correct last four numbers]?”

Me: “Uh… yes, sir…?”

Customer: “Ugh, whatever. Thanks for nothing.” *click*