(On weekend night shift there are usually three agents. But on this night, one is on scheduled vacation and the other one called off the day before because he got sick. Unfortunately no-one is able to take over for him so I am alone.)

Caller: “I called before and I think I talked with you. I want somebody else to help me.”

Me: “Oh, are you [Caller]? What is happening now? Maybe I can help you.”

Caller: “I don’t think so. Just transfer me to somebody else.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot do it. I’m alone today.”

Caller: “I don’t want your excuses. Just transfer me.”

Me: “I would but there is no-one else.”

Caller: “I will just call back and I will get somebody else”

Me: “Good luck, sir. But for next ten hours it is me or no-one.”

Caller: *click*

(Surprisingly he didn’t call back on that night.)

(I’m working in a small thrift store where we sell items for generally pretty cheap when a middle-aged man walks in and starts shopping.)

Customer: *puts a jacket on the counter* “I need you to check the price of this now.”

Me: *after scanning the item* “Okay, sir, this jacket comes up to 19.99.”

Customer: “19.99? The rack says 3.99, though.”

Me: “It’s a 3.99 and up rack so the prices could vary.”

Customer: “It says 3.99, though.”

Me: “It’s a 3.99 and up rack, sir.”

Customer: *walks over and grabs five more identical jackets* “Price check these.”

Me: “These are all of the same jacket they’ll all be the same price.”

Customer: “But it says 3.99.”

Me: “It’s an ‘and-up’ rack; the prices vary.”

Customer: “So it’s now 3.99?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “Hmm, okay…” *dumps everything on the counter and walks out*

Customer: “I would like to return these pants.”

Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, I do.” *hands the receipt to me* “I’m returning them because the girl blew her nose and picked up a receipt off the floor and didn’t wash her hands. I think they are contaminated.  They are dirty now. You need to train your employees to be sanitary.”

Me: “Aren’t you the woman who used to come in the dry cleaners I used to work at and always complain and try to get a free order? Then I went to working at [Local Drug Store] and you had issues there, too. Let me tell you something. We are sales associates who try to do our jobs and make other people happy. But you are one customer who I know well, and nothing satisfies you.”

Customer: “I want to see a manager.”

(Manager comes up to the register.)

Manager: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “This employee is back-talking me.”

Manager: *holding up the pants* “What is your reason for returning this now? Let me tell you something, miss. Every week, you are in here returning something, sometimes more than once a week.”

Customer: “Well, your sales associates are disrespectful and this item was touched by someone who didn’t wash their hands after they rang me up and they blew their nose. They also picked up a slip off the floor. I can’t shop in a store so dirty.”

Manager: “I can return the pants, but honestly, I don’t like to lose customers. In your case, however, your returns are far outweighing your purchases and we feel you are abusing our return policy. This is the last return we are processing for you. I am asking you to not come back in this store, as you’ve had a history of harassing associates.”

(The customer took the completed return and left, clearly in shock. That’s the last time I saw the Watertown Retail Bully ever around my area.)

(I work in a clothing store. We use sizing nubs that go on the hanger to help us organize the garments. The nubs are about the size of a dime, and very colorful. I’m working the fitting room today, and on one of the walls we have, clear, open pockets for each nub size. There’s a five-year-old girl that keeps running in and out of the women’s fitting room while her mother tries on clothing. She spots the nub organizer and reaches in to grab a handful of them. I’m afraid she’s going to put them in her mouth and choke on them.)

Me: “Oh, sweetie, no, those aren’t to play with! Can I have them back?”

(With a little persuasion, she gives me the nubs back and goes back to the fitting room. This scenario happens a number of times until her mom comes out of the dressing room. Right now she has a small handful of nubs.)

Me: “Honey, you can’t have those! You shouldn’t be playing with them!”

Customer: “Excuse me, are you telling my daughter what to do?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but she keeps taking the nubs we use on our hangers and I’m—”

Customer: “My daughter is an angel! She can play with whatever she wants, and you can’t tell her what she can and can’t do!”

Me: “Ma’am, these nubs could potentially be dangerous for her. If she—”

Customer: “Did you not hear me?! I said she can do whatever she wants! Give her back the d*** toy!”

Me: “This isn’t a toy, and if she puts one in her mouth she could choke on it.”

(As if on vue, we hear a choking sound. The little girl has indeed put several nubs in her mouth and is choking on them. Her mother quickly bends down and hits her on the back several times before the girl spits them out. Then she stands up and dumps the handful of contaminated nubs into my hand.)

Customer: “Well, maybe if you hadn’t made them so brightly-colored, this wouldn’t have happened!”

(When I went on my break an hour later, she was ranting about me to a manager, and how I was “choking her daughter with brightly colored plastic.”)

(It’s a very busy day. While I’m in the middle of helping someone, another patron approaches me.)

Patron: “I was looking for my wife’s hold, but it’s not on the shelf. Could it still be in the back room?”

Me: “It might be. Once I’m finished helping this patron, I’ll go check for you.”

Patron: “Oh, don’t worry, then; I’ll go check.”

(I watch, incredulous, as the patron proceeds to wander into our staff area and start examining the shelves, none of which would have any holds.)

Me: “Umm… actually, this is the staff area. We need you to wait out here. I’ll be with you in just a second.”

Patron: “But it’s just back here!”

(He glared at me for a moment before storming out. Not a minute later, his wife came in and waited politely for me, something that was apparently too difficult for her husband.)