(The phone rings and I give my usual greeting that includes the name of my hotel.)
Guest: “I’m standing at the front counter waiting for someone to help me.”
Me: “Um… I’m at the front desk and there’s no one here, sir.”
Guest: “Well, where am I then? Is there another counter?”
Me: “No, sir, there’s only the one desk.”
Guest: “Well, I’m at the counter.”
Me: “You must be at a different hotel then, sir.”
(It is during my first couple of months at my job. I am doing a product demo in the health & beauty section of a box store, before they had upgraded it to a super store, so it isn’t that big. A Canadian couple look around, confused, and ask me for help.)
Man: “Excuse me, where in here is [Department Store]?”
Me: *thinking I have misread him* “Pardon?”
Man: “Can you tell me where the [Department Store] is located in here?”
Me: “Uh… sir, there’s no [Department Store] here.”
Woman: “But, why not?”
Me: “This isn’t a mall. [Box Store] is a store all on it’s own. You’ll want the mall that’s up the highway.”
(I try to give them directions.)
Man: *walks off, speaking to his wife* “But this store is so big! How was I to know?”
(I have been working here for the last three years to pay for my science degree. I am the longest serving employee at the store, and the fastest server. The job pays reasonably well and all staff are expected to adhere to a high standard of appearance. The store I work in is located in a complex containing three other food outlets, just off a major national highway. It is not uncommon for families to come in and have members order from each of the different food outlets. A couple with three young children comes in around 5:30 pm. The mother comes to the counter while the father stays back with the kids. People usually do this when only one in the party is ordering.)
Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you today?”
Mother: “I’d like a foot-long white.”
Me: “Sure, what would you like on it?”
(We’ve had a busy afternoon and this is the last white foot-long I currently have cooked. Twenty more are in the oven.)
Mother: “Chicken and bacon.”
Me: “Would you like the sub toasted?”
Mother: *stares at me*
Me: “Sorry, would you like this sub toasted today?”
Mother: “Of course!”
Me: “And which cheese would you like?”
Mother: *huffily* “Whichever.”
(I put the sub into the toaster.)
Me: “Was it just that one sub today?”
Mother: *quite rudely* “YES.”
Me: “Okay, what salads would you like?”
Mother: “Yes.”
Me: “So all the salads?”
Mother: “NO. Just lettuce and tomato, jeez.”
Me: “Any sauce or salt & pepper on it today?”
Mother: “NO.”
(I take the sub out of the toaster, put on the salads and go to close it when she interrupts me.)
Mother: “I wanted ranch dressing!”
Me: “Sure.” *puts the sauce on the sub, go to close it again*
Mother: “And salt and pepper!”
(Puts on salt and pepper, closes sub, cuts it, wraps it and takes it to the till.)
Me: “That’ll be $10.95.”
Mother: “I WANT ANOTHER ONE. GOD, YOU’RE SLOW.”
(Fortunately there is no one else in the store so I go to the other end of the bench to make the next sub.)
Me: “Okay, sure. What bread did you want it on?”
Mother: “White.”
Me: “Sorry, but your other sub was my last white bread, the next plainest bread we have is wheat.”
Mother: “YOU ARE SO SLOW AND STUPID. MY CHILDREN WON’T EAT WHEAT BREAD. WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE? YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE IS APPALLING. HOW DUMB ARE YOU THAT YOU CAN’T MAKE MORE THAN ONE SUB! WE’LL JUST TAKE THAT ONE. MY CHILDREN WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO THEIR MONTHLY FAST FOOD TREAT. WHAT WILL MY THEY EAT NOW? YOU’VE JUST LOST YOURSELF A VALUABLE CUSTOMER!”
Me: “Okay, your total is $10.95. Would you like a receipt?”
Mother: “Yes, you’re disgusting. I’m going to report you, you dumb b****!”
Me: “All right, have a nice evening.”
(They leave and I go out the back to my coworker who has heard the whole interaction.)
Me: “You’ll back me up when the complaint comes through?”
Coworker: “H***, yes. What a b****!”
(Later in the week, my boss sent an email to all staff regarding a complaint against our store which was registered at head office. I owned up straight away to being the server responsible. My boss forwarded me the official complaint and we had a good laugh over the customer’s poor spelling, grammar, and exaggerated retelling of the event. She even rated the cleanliness of the store 0 out of 10 because of “staff appearance”! I didn’t get in trouble; my boss actually gave me a gift card!)
(My company asks customers for a picture copy of their driver’s license and credit card for their rental reservations. Occasionally we get people who get concerned about the security of their credit card.)
Customer: “I sent my credit card in via email.”
Me: “I just checked our email box and we haven’t received it.”
Customer: “But I was concerned about sending my info in the first place! If I get charges on my credit card I’m coming after you.”
Me: “Well, it’d be kinda hard for us to charge you when we don’t have your credit card info.”
Customer: “But my info is floating around in space somewhere.”
Me: “I have zero control over where your credit card info is right now. However, aren’t you glad that you can dispute charges with your credit card company and they don’t hold you liable?”
Customer: “Well, okay, here’s the info you need.”
Guest: *snottily* “Excuse me, but my group was booked for rooms with queen beds, and we all have full beds.”
(I figure she means that her group needed two queen beds per room, and wound up with one king in each room – not an uncommon occurrence.)
Me: “Well, let me just pull up your reservations… Huh… I show you here as having two queens in your room, and you’re saying you only have one king?”
Guest: “NO. I have two FULL beds in my room, not two QUEENS! I know a queen bed when I sleep in one, and these are full!”
(Full beds ARE slightly smaller than queens, but our hotel has only king or queen beds. The only full beds are the pull-out couches.)
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our hotel only offers queen or king beds. There is no way that there is a full bed in your room. We don’t have them.”
Guest: “That’s ridiculous! I KNOW a queen bed when I sleep in one and those are full beds!”
Me: *somewhat baffled* “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am, but those are our queen beds.”
Guest: “Well, that’s ridiculous! Who do I talk to to fix this?”
Me: “Er… honestly, ma’am, you would have to speak to our corporate offices. They’re the ones who determine the kinds of beds we order.”
Guest: *huffs* “Well, you need to advertise as full beds and not queens! You’re ripping people off!” *storms away*
(I’m not sure what she expected me to do. It’s not like I was hiding the ‘real’ queen beds in the back room!)
