And Whose Fault Is That?

, , | Right | February 6, 2008

Me: “Welcome to [Magazine]. How can I help you?

Customer: “Hi, we just got a bill for an ad in your fall issue and I thought we had already paid and our contract was over.”

Me: “Let me get the insertion order.”

(I get the order.)

Me: “It says here you’ve signed up for a full year contract including our fall and winter issues.”

Customer: “But we’re not even open in the fall or the winter.”

Me: “But you signed for the contract.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t read what I was signing…”

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Sorry, Mom And Dad

| | Right | February 6, 2008

Regular at store: “Hey, I have a question.”

Me: “Ok, what can I help you with.”

Regular: “Do y’all have homeless people come in here often?”

(Indicates couple reading news paper in the corner. I can’t see their faces.)

Me: “Umm, no. Why?”

Regular: “Oh, they just came in sat down like they wanted no one to see them and took your newspaper.”

Me: “Well I can’t ask them to leave unless they are bothering you. Do you want me to ask them for the newspaper? I can since they aren’t paying cust–”

Regular: “Oh no, I was just wondering if homeless people came in here often.”

(I look back to the corner again and I can see their faces now.)

Me: “Um, sir, those are my parents.”

(He did not come back for about six months.)

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Fun With Hypocrites

| | Right | February 6, 2008

Me: “That’ll be $49.95, thank you sir.”

(Customer takes out his credit card and his reward benefits card from his wallet and pointedly separates them before handing them over. I take the cards.)

Customer: “No, you can’t touch the cards together like that, it ruins the magnetic strip.”

Me: “Oh it’s okay, the strips on these cards are very durable.”

(I continue on with the transaction.)

Customer: “Are you deaf? I said don’t touch them together!! You’ll ruin my cards!”

Me: “Sir, trust me–you could put a strong magnet on these cards and they wouldn’t be damaged. Touching them together is not going to affect them.”

Customer: “Well, the customer is always right, so don’t touch my cards together, okay?!”

Me: “Okay, okay, geez.”

(I make a big show of keeping the cards separate.)

Customer: “The service here is terrible.”

Me: “Whatever.”

(I hand his cards back, still making a show of keeping them separate. The customer then proceeds to put them back in his wallet, in the same flap, so they are rubbing against each other through a thin piece of material.)

Me, trying not to laugh: “You just put them together in your wallet.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “Yeah well…shut up and do your job!”

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Easily Puzzled

| | Right | February 5, 2008

Me: “****** Frame Shop, how can I help you?”

Lady: “Hi. I have a problem with a mat I ordered.”

Me: “What is the problem?”

Lady: “Well, I wanted the mat to fit over a puzzle and on the puzzle box it says it is supposed to be 20″ by 28″, so that is what we ordered.”

Me: “Okay.”

Lady: “But I am putting the puzzle together and it is only 20″ by 23″.”

Me: “Well, if there is a problem I can always re-order the mat for you…”

Lady: “But the puzzle is supposed to be 20″ by 28″! Now it won’t fit in the frame I bought from you!”

Me: “Do you have the puzzle all put together?”

Lady: “No, not yet.”

Me: “…then how did you measure it?”

Lady: “I measured the edges!”

Me: “Are there any pieces with flat sides left?”

Lady: “Yes, but they don’t fit.”

Me: “Hmm, I see….”

(I spend the next 15 minutes trying to explain to the customer that all of the flat pieces belong on the edges of the puzzle, without offending her or snickering.)

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Word Of The Day: Owned

| | Right | February 5, 2008

(As I am working in the department, refilling betta containers, dressed in company attire and name tag clearly displayed.)

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, I do. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I was standing here for 10 minutes, waiting for someone to help me.”

Me: “Oh, well I have been here for the last 20 minutes.”

Customer: “Could you help me find this [competitor’s can of cat food]?”

Me: “I am sorry ma’am, we do not sell that brand here.”

Customer: “DO NOT TELL ME THAT, I WAS JUST HERE LAST WEEK AND BOUGHT IT!! I KNOW YOU SELL IT!!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t.”

Customer: “FINE THEN, PROVE IT!!”

(I turn to the back of the can and read it.)

Me:Marketed and sold by [competitor]. Anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: *turns and walks away*

Me: *smile*

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