Hey G.W., Crazy Lady On Line 1

, , , | | Right | August 12, 2008

(I used to work in a building on 17th and Pennsylvania Ave, which is a block away from the White House.)

Me: “Good morning, [company].”

Lady: “Uh, hi… is this office in DC?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, this is the DC office. How may I direct your call?”

Lady: “Is your building by the White House?”

Me: “Yes, it is…?”

Lady: “Can you run over there and tell them to pick up the phone? I’ve been calling all day but I can’t get ahold of the President!”

Me: *click*

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Let’s All Just Randomly Grab Crap

, , | | Right | August 12, 2008

(I’m ringing up a customer’s items.)

Customer: “That’s wrong. That’s on sale.”

Me: “Well, the system is usually correct, and I don’t believe it is, but I can have someone check.”

(After the area is checked, we find that I am correct.)

Me: “The sign back there says the clearance EXCLUDES your item.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t.”

Me: “Ma’am, I just had an associate check for you to ensure that the item is not on sale.”

Customer: “Yes, it is! You are just a dumb cashier! Where is your supervisor?”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the supervisor. I’m sorry, but the sign clearly says in large red letters that your item is excluded from the sale.”

Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t have to pay attention! I saw clearance so I just grabbed something. I should get it cheaper because of it!”

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Haphazardly Placed Vowels Does Not A Language Make

, , | | Right | August 12, 2008

(I’m a customer and see an employee is waiting on another customer. The employee speaks perfect English and actually looks Hawaiian.)

Customer: “EL POLO ICE-CREAMO!”

Employee: Umm… yeah?”

Customer: “I want some choco-lato ice-creamo. GRASSIOS!”

Employee: “I speak English fine. What size do you want?”

Customer: “Oh, you are doing so good. Good job, boy. Umm… I want a GRAND-AY!”

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The Art Of Persuasion

, , | | Right | August 12, 2008

(This is on one of the busiest days we’ve ever had. We literally had to stop letting people into the park)

Guest: “Why can’t I go into the park?! I drove here from Cape Cod!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the general manager said we’re not allowed to let anyone else in. We’re at capacity.”

Guest: “Why can’t I go in now? There are a ton of people leaving!”

Me: “There are a few things, sir. The general manager said we can’t allow anyone else in, we have weather coming which might halt operations, and even if we let you in, you honestly wouldn’t have fun. There are a ton of people in there.”

Guest: “I DROVE HERE FROM CAPE COD! YOU HAVE TO LET ME AND MY FAMILY IN!”

Me: “Sir, your options are you can stay here and complain to me about not being let in, or I can let you in, and you can pay $35 to complain to me that there are too many people inside the park. How’s that?”

Guest: “On second thought, I’ll just go to the beach.”

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Marital Bliss, In All Its Forms

| | Right | August 11, 2008

(A male customer comes up to the counter with a box of tampons.)

Me: “You should meet my husband. We’ve been married seven years and he’s never bought these.”

Customer: “You should meet my girlfriend.”

Me: “Persuasive?”

Customer: “Scary.”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

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