Customer Of The Week: Just Look At Bambie…

| | Right | November 5, 2008

Customer Of The Week: Just Look At Bambie...
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Parental Guidunce

The Trouble With Seeing In Black And White

| | Right | November 3, 2008

Caller: “I need to exchange this movie. It’s the wrong one.”

Me: “Which movie were you looking for?”

Caller:Big Momma’s House.”

Me: “Um, what does it say on the case?”

Caller:Big Momma’s House.”

Me: “What does it say on the video cassette itself?”

Caller:Big Momma’s House.”

Me: “I’m thinking you have Big Momma’s House there, Ma’am.”

Caller: “But…”

Me: “Yes?”

Caller: “But… there’s white people in it.”

Me: “There are a few of us about, ma’am. We do sneak into the odd movie here and there.”

Caller: *click*

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How Nicknames Are Born, Part 2

| | Right | November 3, 2008

Customer: “Hey, can you tell me where the rope is? I’ve been looking all over for it, but can’t seem to find it.”

Me: “Oh, yeah it’s just over this way.”

(I lead him to the hardware aisle, and halfway down there’s a big sign that says “Ropes” with a picture of a rope on it.)

Me: “Right down there.¬†There’s actually a sign there that says ‘Ropes’.”

Customer: “You’re f***ing douche bag, you know that?!”

Me: *laughs, thinking he’s joking*

Customer: “That was intentional, and I WILL talk to your manager!”

Me: “I apologize–”

Customer: “Anytime you wanna come to my house, you just lemme know, Dingleballs!”

(And from that day forward, my nickname at work was “Dingleballs”.)

 

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What’s A Synonym For Thesaurus

| | Right | November 3, 2008

Me: “Hi, ma’am, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Yes, I need a synonym finder.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “A synonym finder… you know?”

Me: “Oh, you mean a thesaurus?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

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If That Doesn’t Work, Try Hogwarts

, | | Right | November 3, 2008

Customer: “Oi you! I need a coat and it’s not here!”

Me: “Certainly miss, do you have the catalogue number?”

Customer: “No! I’ve told you it’s not here!”

Me: “Okay, describe it.”

Customer: “I want one that will keep me dry and warm in winter, but cool in summer.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t stock magic coats.”

Customer: “Well, where could I f***ing find one like it?!”

Me: “… Narnia?”

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