(At our hotel, we have a snack shop full of food as well as other things, like soaps and brushes.)
Customer: “Do you have a toothbrush?”
Me: “We have toothbrushes to buy. We don’t have them free.”
Customer: “Buy?”
(I show her.)
Me: “Yes, toothbrushes to buy, on the bottom shelf there.”
Customer: “Buy?”
Me: “Yes, buy.”
Customer: “Oh, buy!” *takes brush and leaves without paying*
Me: “…”
(I am a manager working on a department store’s main service desk. I have been completing paperwork for the past ten minutes when I notice a young gentleman come up to me and stare.)
Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, sir?”
(No response.)
Me: “Sir?”
(Still no response. I decide to just ignore him, as he seems a bit weird, and get on with my work. Over the next ten to fifteen minutes, he inches closer to me. I’m a little creeped out, so I turn my back on him. A little while later I turn back to grab my stapler and see him right up against the counter. I stare at him as I reach for the stapler, when he grabs it.)
Me: “Sir, could I please have that? It does not belong to you.”
(No response.)
Me: “Sir, please.”
(He still says nothing, but reluctantly hands over the stapler. I turn back, staple what I need, and finally decide to address him.)
Me: “Sir, if there is nothing I can help you with, and you do not intend to shop today, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”
(This sets him off. His eyes turn murderous as he screams.)
Gentleman: “YOU DIDN’T SAY, ‘HELLO!’ YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SAY, ‘HELLO,’ TO SOMEONE BEFORE YOU HELP THEM! I’VE BEEN STANDING HERE FOR HALF AN HOUR AND YOU’VE JUST F****** IGNORED ME. THIS IS TERRIBLE SERVICE. I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE DISRESPECTED IN MY LIFE. I’M SUING!”
(The gentleman then sprinted out of the store. I got a call from my manager a month later regarding a 57-page essay sent to her about how I had infringed the gentleman’s basic human rights, referencing laws from all around the world to support his argument. After I explained what happened, she was just as confused as I was.)
(I’m having a pregnancy test done at a local clinic. After I get a positive result, they go over some things with me. The nurse is asking me basic questions about daily habits and my lifestyle.)
Nurse: “All right, do you smoke?”
Me: “Nope.”
Nurse: “Drink alcohol?”
Me: “Not at all.”
Nurse: “Do you plan on starting?”
Me: “Not anytime soon.”
Nurse: “Oh, thank God! I don’t have to try to talk sense into you.”
Me: “Do people really think they can smoke and drink during pregnancy?”
Nurse: “More than you’d think.”
(I am a short, stocky female and I am getting ready to lift a five-gallon bucket of paint onto a shaker. The customer is a middle-aged to elderly gentlemen.)
Customer: “Oh, women shouldn’t lift heavy things. It’s not good for their insides.”
Me: “Your address?”
Customer: “I don’t know.”
Me: “…”
Customer: “Well, because it’s not coming from me; it’s coming from the company I work for. Let me call them.”
(The customer calls the company to find out the address she’s shipping from, then gives me the address.)
Me: “Great, thanks. Okay, and the address for where they’re going?”
Customer: “Yeah, it’s… I don’t know. Let me call them again.”
(Customer calls the company to find out where she’s shipping to and gives me the address.)
Me: “What’s in the box?”
Customer: “Oh, I don’t know that either. It was sealed when I got it.” *sigh* “I’ll call them.”
(The customer calls the company to find out what’s in the box she has, then gives me the information.)
Me: *expecting what she’s going to say, and thankful that this is the last question I’ll need an answer to* “And the approximate value?”
Customer: “Um… I guess… Probably about… Actually, let me call them again to find out.”
