(I work at a grocery store, but today is my day off. I’m in a different town at a clothing store when a regular from my store comes up to me, fuming.)
Customer: “You’re not wearing your uniform!”
Me: “No, it’s actually my day off.”
Customer: “Why aren’t you wearing your uniform?! Do you work tonight?”
Me: “No, ma’am. It’s my day off; I only wear my uniform at work.”
Customer: “God! You’re so rude!”
(I am a teenage girl working at a popular restaurant in downtown. Nearby, there is a Baptist church. People regularly come to the restaurant straight after church, which is the one of the reasons why it is so popular in the first place. A woman enters and immediately comes to the front of the line.)
Customer: “I am starving! I just came from church and the service took super long. Let me go in front of these other people. They are not as f****** hungry as I am!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot let you go first; these people have been waiting for a very long time. The wait will be approximately 35 minutes. Would you like to reserve a spot in line?”
Customer: “WHAT?! This is unacceptable. Jesus said to us, ‘The first will be last and the last shall be first.’ You should let me in front!”
Me: “I am sorry, but—”
Customer: “NO BUTS! Let me in front, you little b****! I bet you are an atheist! You’re going to Hell!”
Me: *clearly shaken but full of rage* “Ma’am, I understand the irritation, but there is no reason for you to ever treat me like you just did. Jesus also said to treat others as we would like to be treated. How would you like it if someone barged in and cut in line after you had patiently waited? I certainly wouldn’t.”
Customer: *silence*
Me: “If you think that is following what Jesus wants, you are clearly mistaken.”
Customer: “Fine! I’ll go to [Competitor]! Little b****!”
Me: “Please do so, and good luck being a Christian! And by the way, I don’t think I’m going to Hell anytime soon. I’m Catholic.”
Customer: *storms out*
(Everyone in the restaurant cheered for me and one gentleman bought me some cannoli!)
I work at the Water Bureau. I got a call to go out to a house on a “loud water” complaint.
A nice elderly gentleman came out of the house and told me that the water was louder and it had been that way for a week. I asked many questions to try to narrow it down to a cause, and the gentleman said he hadn’t made any changes to the house or anything different with the plumbing recently.
Finally, I asked him if there was anything new in his life in the last week. The man thought for a moment and said, “Well, I did get new hearing aids last week.”
I suggested that perhaps he could just hear the water better now that he had hearing aids. The man said, “Well, God d***, I bet you’re right! That just proves to my wife I’m not crazy. Thanks!” And he went back into his house.
Another satisfied customer.
In recent years, a local farm has set up a booth in town to sell their produce. I was in to pick up some of their tomatoes. The owner and a customer were blocking that display. While I waited for my turn, I heard the customer say:
“But I can get tomatoes for ninety-nine cents a pound at [Supermarket].”
I figured the customer was trying to talk the owner down on price so I wandered over to a different display until the customer walked away. Finally, I was able to get my tomatoes.
As I was paying the owner, I said, “This may be all we eat for dinner tonight. Your tomatoes just have more flavor than the ones at [Supermarket]!”
The owner, who is known to be a bit gruff, gave me a genuine smile.
When I turned around, I was face-to-face with the argumentative customer. He was glaring at me. I heard the owner chuckle quietly as I walked away.
Customer: “Hey, where are your groceries?”
Coworker: “Sir, this is an appliance store; we have none.”
Customer: “What do you mean?! What kind of store doesn’t even carry a loaf of bread?!”
(We have also been asked for power tools, televisions, beds, and auxiliary cables for music.)
