(I am assisting with a couple and a lady walks in, takes a menu, and steps to the side to read it. She is roughly four feet away from the counter and not in the center of the room, but to the side. After I finish with the couple, I look toward her and note that she is still looking down at the menu. One new customer walks in, and she looks ready. I wait a few seconds for the lady to finish, but she is still looking at the menu, so I decide not to interrupt her and smile and nod toward the new customer.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

New Customer: “I’m here to pick up an order.”

(It takes me around one minute to assist her with that, and right before she is about to leave, the first customer has finally finished reading the menu, and looks up, shocked. She storms up to the counter, right next to the new customer.)

First Customer: “Hey, I have an order to pick up!”

Me: “Oh, yes. What is your order?”

First Customer: “I came in here first, but you let her in front of me, so I want to cancel it!”

New Customer: “I am so sorry; I thought you were still looking at the menu.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I thought you—” *she storms out* “—weren’t ready.”

(The new customer continued to apologize to me, but it really wasn’t her fault. I have no idea which order the lady wanted canceled.)

(I work doing door-to-door fundraising. At this moment we’re representing a cancer charity. I knock on the door of a house, but it appears that it’s going to be a “No Answer.” I start to head off, but I spot a man in his dressing gown coming out of the side door.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing? My name is [My Name]. I’m from [Charity]! We’re just doing a local campaign in your area.”

Man: “Oh. I thought it was something important.”

Me: “Well, cancer is important.”

(He headed back inside, regardless. You’d think if you’d bothered to walk all the way out of your house in your dressing gown, you might as well spent a minute or two hearing out my pitch.)

(I work as the guest services manager at a hotel. Early one morning, around 9:00 am, a local resident comes in looking for a room. She pays cash and leaves a deposit, and since we have a vacant room already cleaned, I agree to check her in. Around 2:30 pm, the customer comes back to the front desk.)

Me: “Hi! Is everything okay?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. There’s just been a change of plans. I won’t be needing this room tonight, after all, so I’ll be checking out now.”

(At this point, I prepare for a fight, because housekeeping has just finished for the day. I won’t be able to refund her room charge if the room has been used in any way, because I can’t rent it out until it has been properly cleaned.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. I will have to go check the room, though, before I can—”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, no problem! I just took a shower, had a nap, nothing crazy in there. No damage, I promise.”

Me: “Yes, well, unfortunately, housekeeping is finished for the day, and since the room has been used, I won’t be able to refund your money today. You see—”

Customer: “Oh, I know.”

Me: *pause* “What?”

Customer: “I said, ‘I know.’ I don’t want my money back; I just wanted to pick up my deposit.”

Me: “Oh! Well, in that case, you’re all set to go.”

Customer: “Oh, good. I was starting to think something was wrong.”

Me: “My gosh, no. It’s just that normally when this happens, people expect to get their money back, and they fight with us.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Oh, yes. You have no idea. I’ve had people check in at 3:00 pm, and at 11:00 pm, they want to leave and be refunded or have the charge removed from their credit card. People get really aggressive about it, too; last month we had to call the police on a woman because she was trying to get in the office to assault my front desk clerk. She destroyed part of my lobby!”

Customer: “Really? That’s unbelievable. You would think people would understand the concept of paying for what they use or consume. Some people just never grow up.”

Me: “Well, here’s your deposit back, and thank you again for not pitching a fit.”

Customers: “No worries. Thanks a lot!”

(Best customer I’ve had in weeks.)

(A friend is visiting from out of town and has forgotten to bring her contact lens container. I offer her two shot glasses, which we cover with plastic wrap and put in the medicine cabinet. In the morning, my roommate catches me before my friend awakens.)

Roommate: “What were those shots in the bathroom?”

Me: “They are my friends contacts.”

Roommate: “Oh, I wondered why it tasted awful.”

Me: “Wait, you drank her contact lens?!”

Roommate: “I didn’t know what they were! I didn’t know why you’d have two gross shots.”

Me: “You drank both of them?!”

Roommate: “I was confused!”

(Thankfully, the local eye doctor had my friend’s prescription in stock and my roommate bought her a box, so she could see. It was a little pricey, but we declared it an idiot tax.)

(I’m in line at a well-known US coffee shop chain. It’s quite busy, and the line is stretched nearly out the door; it’s the morning rush. There are two gentlemen in front of me in line who look like mechanics. One orders a grande Americano with room. I place my order and go to the other end to wait, when this happens:)

Employee: “Tall Americano with room! On the bar!”

(The guy who was in front of me grabs the coffee and puts half-and-half in it and stirs it up. His buddy then pipes up:)

Mechanic #1: “Dude, that’s a girl’s drink.”

Mechanic #2: “What? Screw you! No, it isn’t! Guys order Americanos all the time; don’t be a jerk.”

Mechanic #1: “No, dude. There’s a chick’s name on the side of the cup.”

(He looks and, sure enough, there is an obviously female name written on the side of the cup. A lady pipes up from the crowd of people waiting for their drinks.)

Lady: “That’s my drink!”

(The staff visibly stiffens and everyone braces themselves for her to flip out.)

Lady: “Man, I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes for that! How long did you wait? Five seconds? Did you think you were going to get yours before everyone else? Look at this line!”

Mechanic #2: “I… I… I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. I got the same thing; you can have mine.”

Lady: “Dude, I’m messing with you. You didn’t put your finger in it, or anything?”

Mechanic #2: “No, just some half-and-half and a stirrer.”

Lady: “That’s what I was going to get, anyway. No worries, man.”

(She grabs the coffee and walks out. The guy’s coffee comes next, a grande Americano. He looks embarrassed.)

Mechanic #2: “It wasn’t even the same size. I need coffee before I get my coffee.”

(We all had a good laugh. It was really nice to see everyone keep their cool and not make a big deal out of it. We all started our morning off with a chuckle.)