(My father has been blind since he was a toddler. Before he retires he runs a small snack bar in our local city hall. Since it is not uncommon for people to lie to him about the denominations of bills he is given, he has a “verifier” machine he can run money through that tells him the amount of the currency. After I graduate, I spend my summer working for him. My father is on break, and a man approaches me with several items. He hands me a dollar bill.)

Customer: “That’s a twenty.”

Me: “No… This is a dollar.”

Customer: *becoming upset* “Well, I didn’t know you could see!” *storms out, leaving his items behind*

Me: *dumbfounded*

(I work at a historic site. We have been a museum for over 50 years and the site itself is several hundred years old. It was originally a home and ironworks that produced materials from the early railroads. The ironworks itself burned down in the early 1900s. Sitting at the front desk, I receive this call.)

Me: “Good morning. This is [Museum]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I have been looking at your website for a while and you seem to be what I need.”

Me: “Wonderful! Do you have questions about tours or programs?”

Customer: “No. I need some iron products created immediately, and I can pick them up from your ironworks early next week.”

Me: “Ma’am, we–”

(She interrupts me to describe these iron plates she needs, and each time I try to interject she gets louder and louder. Finally, after about seven minutes…)

Me: “Ma’am, we are a historic site. The ironworks itself burned down over 100 years ago.”

Customer: “So, the plates won’t be ready next week?”

Me: “They will not be ready ever.”

(Our website says, “historic site,” and, “museum,” all across the page.)

(A customer walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

(The customer gives me a smile.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

(The customer puts a dollar bill on the counter, puts a bunch of coins on top of it, and slides it towards me.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

(The customer slides the money closer to me.)

Me: “What is it you want me to do with this?”

(The guy gives me a blank stare.)

Customer: “I want a five dollar bill for that.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(I open the drawer, count his change, and give him a five dollar bill. He slides the bill back to me and stares again.)

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Can I buy five dollars of lottery with this?”

Me: “Oh, sure. You have to say that, though.”

Customer: “You couldn’t tell?”

Me: “No.”

(The guy gives me a blank stare.)

Me: “You could have paid with the change, too.”

Customer: “But I needed five dollars for lottery.”

Me: “The coin came to five dollars, though.”

Customer: “I guess it did.”

(I slide him the lottery ticket.)

Me: “Can I help you with anything else?”

(The customer walks away.)

This story is part of the Lottery roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Satisfying Stories Where The Customer Was Proven Wrong!

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(This takes place back in 80s before I am born. My mum is saying goodbye to her boyfriend at an airport. They are passionately kissing, with my mum straddled across his lap; they can barely take their hands off each other and they are being rather public about it. Eventually, they pull themselves apart and she goes to the check-in to get on the plane. In her defence, my mum has always had a wicked sense of humour.)

Air Hostess: *while at boarding gate* “Aw, saying goodbye to a loved one?”

Mum: “Yeah, that was my brother.”

Air Hostess: *literally jumps and stares at my mum in horror*

(Mum says she hopes one day that hostess realised she was joking.)

Related:
Oh, Brother!

(I work for an up-brand mass-market chocolatier. The company has café stores and non-café stores. I was the head barista for two years in a café store, but at this point I am a senior sales in a non-café.)

Guest: “I bought your hot chocolate and I don’t like it.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Can I ask how you’ve been making it? That sometimes affects the taste.”

Guest: “I’ve done it every way. Whenever I come in they tell me something different.”

(I list the ways you could make it and he nods along, the response being, “No, I didn’t like that way.”)

Me: “The only other option, sir, would be to use a pressure wand, like a milk-foamer on a coffee machine.”

Guest: “That’s ridiculous! I’m not forking out money for a product I’ve already bought!”

Me: “I understand, sir, but there isn’t any other way I can think of to help you. If you have the product or the receipt, I can refund or exchange.”

Guest: “I don’t want to do that! Can’t you just make it here?”

Me: “This isn’t a café store, sir; we don’t have those facilities.”

Guest: “Well, what are you going to do about it?!”

Me: “If you have the receipt or the product, I can give you a full refund. Other than coming to your house and making it for you, there’s nothing I can do at this juncture.”

Guest: “Come to my house, then.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not prepared to do that. I—”

Guest: “You clearly don’t care about your job, then!”

(He stormed off. Apparently the same guest comes in about once a month and complains about not liking a particular product, but never buys anything in-store or has the product or receipt. Some people just like to complain.)