Customer: “Can I have a dozen nuggets?”

Me: “Sir, our boxes come in 6, 9, or 20. I could give you two boxes of 6 for £4.98, or you could buy a box of 20 for £3.99.”

Customer: “I just want 12.”

Me: “Okay, are two boxes of six okay for you, then?”

Customer: “HOW MANY TIMES? I WANT 12!”

Me: “Okay, that’s £4.98, please.”

Customer:  “Why is that more expensive than 20?”

Me: “Do you want 20, instead?”

Customer: “I won’t eat them all.”

Me: “That’s £4.98, then, please.”

Customer: “I give up. I’ll have a chicken sandwich, instead.”

I work at a slightly popular Mexican fast food restaurant, selling mostly burritos.

A customer walks in and stares at menu for about 15 minutes, then asks me to list off all the entrees we sell. Then, he asks if we sell enchiladas. I say no. He looks at the menu for another five minutes, then asks where [Competitor] is. They sell the exact same stuff.

(I work full-time, Monday to Friday, and I also work every second Saturday on reception. I’m a very versatile employee, with lots of knowledge and experience across the whole dealership. I have worked here for almost four years, so I know quite a lot about processes. A man rings in, who is an owner of the brand I work for, but not one of our direct customers.)

Me: “Good afternoon! [Dealership]. [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hi, service department, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, service closed at 12 pm.” *it is now almost four pm* “But I work with the service department; perhaps I can help you?”

Caller: “I’ve lost the key to my car, and I need you to give me the code so I can cut a new one.”

Me: “Oh, sorry to hear that; I’m guessing you don’t have a spare?”

Caller: “No, I don’t, so can you just give me the code?”

Me: “Unfortunately, due to strict security, sir, there aren’t ‘codes’ we can give out to cut a key. All of the keys are laser cut in either Singapore or Germany, and the information is transferred electronically–“

Caller: “That’s a lie! I know you have a code, so just give it to me!”

Me: “Sir, with all due respect, I cannot give you something that simply doesn’t exist. Even if there was a ‘code,’ I couldn’t and wouldn’t give it out to someone on the phone.”

Caller: “Well, sweetie, you obviously don’t know what you are talking about; all keys have a code you can cut them to, so just look on your little computer thing in front of you and give it to me.”

Me: “I don’t know you from a bar of soap, so let me give you some advice: the codes do not exist. I cannot give you a code.”

Caller: “You lying f****** b****! You just don’t want to help me! Give me the f****** code!”

Me: “I have absolutely no reason to lie to you. Now, please be advised that these calls are recorded, I have your mobile number–” *it is displayed on my switchboard* “—and I am now hanging up on you. Good luck with replacing the key that you lost! Have a nice day.”

(With that, I hung up on him, wrote down his mobile number, and seriously contemplated prank calling him at three in the morning… It’s just a pity that I won’t lower myself to that level!)

(My boyfriend is in the Army National Guard and has been away in training for three months. While he’s been gone I’ve been taking care of his bearded dragon. Today I’m wearing a jacket that says Army, and has his name on it. Today is also Veterans Day.)

Me: “Hello, can I have 57 crickets, please?”

Employee: “57? That’s a precise number there!”

Me: “Yes, sir! I only have a little bit of money to spare, and I did the math, and that’s how many I can get!”

Employee: “I understand! Nice jacket! Are you in the Army?”

Me: “No, sir. My boyfriend is. He’s in training now; it’s his dragon I’m buying the crickets for.”

Employee: “That’s pretty cool! My girl wouldn’t even look after my fish when I went on vacation!”

(We laugh, then he proceeds to bag up my crickets. While I knew he couldn’t get an exact amount, I notice there’s well over the amount I asked for in the bag.)

Employee: “All righty, ma’am! That’ll be $3.87.”

Me: “Are you sure? There’s way more than what I asked for; it should be almost $10!”

Employee: *smiles* “I know, ma’am. Tell your boyfriend thank you for his service. You have a blessed day!”

Me: “Can I hug you?”

(I left the store almost in tears from this man’s generosity. When I got to talk to my boyfriend later that evening, he couldn’t believe it! Now that employee gives me a discount every time I go in!)

This story is part of our Veteran’s Day roundup!

Read the next Veteran’s Day roundup story!

Read the Veteran’s Day roundup!

(My clothing store has an extra 10% off sale items, and a customer brings four sale items to the cash register.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I did 10% off the entire purchase, since all your items were on sale.”

Customer: “No… You have to do 10% off each item.”

Me: “I guarantee you the price will end up being the same.”

Customer: “I don’t know why you’re trying to play me like I’m stupid. I know my math.” *tells other customers in line how I am trying to “scam” her*

Me: “Okay, I’ll do 10% off each item, then.”

(The total ended up being the same. The customer didn’t say a word.)