(I work at a call centre for a waste services company. It is Friday evening at 4:30; we close at five. I need to make some calls to confirm to people that their hazardous waste is getting picked up in the next week.)

Me: “Hello. This is [My Name] for [Company]. Am I talking to [Garage] in [Town]?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s us; what do you want?”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m calling to confirm that your hazardous waste is going to get picked up next Wednesday. But we were wondering if you had an email address so we could email you in the future?”

Customer: “You don’t need my f****** email!”

Me: “An email would be to your advantage, sir, as you would have written proof should something ever go wrong.”

Customer: “You don’t need my email, and I didn’t order anything; cancel it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I can’t cancel anything unless I have written proof, but you can email me at [my company email address].”

Customer: “You b****! You can’t trick me like that! CANCEL IT!”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry that there is some confusion; you are [Garage], correct?”

Customer: “Yes, and I didn’t order anything!”

Me: “Sir, it says you ordered an emptying of your hazardous waste on [date], and you gave us your personal code.”

Customer: “You can’t prove that that was me; cancel it!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t cancel anything unless I have written proof, so you can email me or fax me.”

Customer: “You can’t f****** prove it was me, b****! CANCEL IT!”

(This little back and forth continues for 20 minutes, at which point two of my colleagues and my manager are listening in, as well, because I’m only doing a summer student job here.)

Customer: “I’ll f****** burn down your building and dump my waste on your head, you b****, and you can’t f****** prove that it was me, so CANCEL! I DIDN’T F****** ORDER ANYTHING!”

Me: “And I could be the bloody queen for all you know. Goodbye.” *hangs up*

Manager: “You had more patience than I would have thought you had; well done!”

Me: “Yeah, but do I need to mail the sales representative or something?”

Manager: “Nah, never mind that. If he doesn’t accept our services the fee for refusal will be enough for us to laugh about!”

(I work at a small restaurant which also offers a few rooms for overnight stays. My boss has just left to see the dentist so I am the only member of staff around. A customer has breakfast and pays his bill. He wants to book another night with us, but we have no vacancies this weekend, so I give him the details of another accommodation provider in the area. He has been a bit annoying the whole time, so I just want him to leave, to be honest, especially as he is the last guest in the restaurant.)

Customer: “I do have one more question. If everything works out for my son at his internship, he will need a place to live for about a year. How much does that cost around here?”

Me: “Sorry, but I live with relatives in the neighboring municipality, so I can’t really help you with that.”

Customer: “Like, a small flat, how much would that be?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t know the housing market around here, at all, so I don’t really want to risk giving you any misinformation.”

Customer: “Give me an estimate.”

Me: “I have neither rented nor lived anywhere in this area. I am afraid I can’t really help you with this. But I am sure you could find some information online. Would you like another Wi-Fi code so you can check [Letting Websites] while you wait for your son to come back from work?”

(The customer is a late departure, as he wants to leave after saying goodbye to his son who is at his internship and will stay with us for two more weeks. He has some hours to kill.)

Customer: “A rough approximate.”

Me: *sighing internally that his dude is that reluctant to check with any letting agency for all his letting-based questions* “Let me go and check if I can find today’s paper in the office. There should be some property listings in there, if I am not mistaken.”

(I don’t find the paper, but thankfully, my boss’s computer is still running in the back office, so I do the Googling that my dear customer is apparently unable to do.)

Me: *back in the restaurant* “According to [Website], a small flat costs about [price] per square meter. If one goes for a larger one, it will cost a few cents per square meter more. They also had one available flat listed for [price], utilities not included.”

Customer: “Okay, you said…” *takes his tiny piece of paper out again on which he had me write down the contact details earlier*

Me: *repeats prices, and the customer scribbles them down* “But I can’t promise you will find something at this exact price that you like. After all, I don’t really know anything about it and can only tell you what I just found online. A letting agency could give you a lot more information on that.”

Customer: “Well, it isn’t even certain that he will need a place around here at all. Have a nice day!” *leaves*

Me: *to myself* “Then why the f*** were you such a pain in the a** about it, anyway?”

(Our theater sends out letters reminding our members to book the remainder of their season tickets, a quarter of the way through the season. We often get calls from people who think we’ve deactivated or lost their membership because they booked the first three shows but received a you-haven’t-booked letter.)

Caller: “Hello, I got a you-haven’t-booked letter, but I saw Pete the Cat!” *first show of our season* “So I have booked, and you guys lied! I SAW PETE THE CAT!“

Me: “Yes, ma’am, you did see Pete The Cat; that letter just means that you haven’t booked the remainder of your season tickets. I’d be happy to help you with that now, if you’re ready.”

Caller: “I saw Pete The Cat, though! I’ve booked, and you guys lied!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. You did book tickets for Pete The Cat. Would you like to see Sherlock Holmes?”

Caller: “Yes. But I wanted to come see it on opening night, and you guys never called me to let me reserve!”

(I explain that we don’t call every member when they don’t book a show. She doesn’t understand that, and wants us to call her before every show to see if she’s ready to book.)

Me: “So, would you like to see Sherlock Holmes? This is the last weekend, and I have plenty of space to get you in this Friday at seven.”

Caller: “Yes. Although, I still think you guys should have called me on opening night to see if I wanted to come.”

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. While I have you on the phone, would you like to book the rest of your season? I’d be happy to help you with that.”

Caller: “Yes. I want to come on all the opening nights!”

Me: “Perfect. I’ll book those for you and send you a confirmation email so you have something for your records.”

Caller: “Will you guys call to remind me? I don’t want to waste space in my calendar by writing these down.”

(I am now pulling my hair out.)

Me: “No, ma’am; that’s why I’m sending you the email with the dates and times you’ve booked for.”

Caller: “Well, I guess I’ll write them down. You guys should have a better notification system, though! I can’t be expected to remember the dates I booked!”

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. Have a great day.”

(I am working on a fairly busy day, and there is a line of customers. I have only been working in this store for a couple of weeks, and have just gotten used to the cash register and how to place orders for pizzas. I am also only 15.)

Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

Customer: “Fine.” *they proceed to give a very specific order and I put it into the system as fast as possible* “Also, we get a free pizza because it was messed up previously.”

(They show me their receipt from the previous week and show me the server’s name. It happens to be my name.)

Customer: “She was the most unintelligent person I’ve ever seen work here, and she could barely understand what we were saying! She was the most incompetent…” *now noticing my name*

Me: “Anything else for you today?”

Customer: “No. I’m glad to see they’re properly training their employees now. They must have known you needed extra help.”

Coworker: “Or you needed help with your manners; you have ordered a pizza and called in to complain for multiple weeks in a row. Now you can either give her the money and wait for your pizza, or get out.”

(I have never seen someone blush so much! They remained quiet and very polite for the rest of the transaction, and I haven’t seen them since!)

(I work for a company which captures people’s photos before they go on the attraction. We are entirely separate from the location in which we rent from. Often, we are dealing with thousands of people on a constant basis. They are placed into a waiting room and we’re tasked with capturing their picture in front of the green screen. Technically, nobody has to actually take the photo, but we try, anyway, because it’s drilled into our heads to capture as many as possible. However, it is entirely up the family, people, or group to actually have their photo done if they wish to. I am not one of those who takes the photos, I’m merely a salesperson who is tasked with showing the photos after the ride and selling it if the individuals want their picture. I am often busy showing numerous people their photos and taking the payments. A lady comes up to our sales desk.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’d just like to know, what kind of flash do you use for your photos?”

(I don’t know much about the equipment in which we use, as I am just a sale’s supervisor. Further, I’m contractually obligated not to disclose the company’s equipment or procedures.)

Me: *busy, and rather distracted* “It’s just a flash, like every other flash used to take a picture.”

Customer: “But it was so bright and so sudden! Is it necessary?”

Me: “Of course! The picture would come out pitch black without it! I’ve seen it happen when our flash stopped working.”

(By this point, the lady releases how distracted I am, and proceeds to another one of our sales staff.)

Customer: “What kind of flash do you use here?”

Coworker: “I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “It’s just that… I’m pregnant! That flash was so strong and so blinding! And I’m pregnant!”

(She’s holding her belly, and we assume she must be in her early term as she’s rather skinny.)

Coworker: “Miss, I can assure you that the flash is perfectly safe. It is not an xray; it’s simply a flash. Many new parents actually have their newborns take photos with flash. The light may not be the greatest things for their eyes, but your baby would not have been exposed to it.”

(The lady leaves us. We’re a bit surprised by her questioning and find it somewhat silly. However, I mention to my coworkers that it’s possible the lady has miscarried, or REALLY wants the baby and is genuinely scared that anything could mess things up. But this isn’t the end of things with this woman. After she deals with us, she goes upstairs to where we do stunt shot pictures. She waits in a long line-up to speak with the coworker there, who actually happens to be the manager.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I had a photo taken downstairs. I’m pregnant and that flash was really rough.”

Manager: “Oh, I’m very sorry about that. But the flash will not hurt your baby.”

Customer: *getting upset* “How do you know?”

Manager: “Miss, if you head outside, you’re exposing yourself to radiation from the sun. The flash has none. It is just light produced by electricity. Just like the lights from above us. I promise you, the baby is safe.”

Customer: “Well… you know, you should really tell everyone that the photo is not for security purposes! We thought it was! We wouldn’t have done it!”

Manager: “Miss, we have no time to explain to customers that it is not for security purposes. If you ask the staff taking your photo, they will tell you that it is just a souvenir shot. We are not allowed to mislead.”

Customer: “WELL, YOU SHOULD REALLY LET THEM KNOW! I’M PREGNANT. I WOULD NOT HAVE DONE IT!”

Manager: “I am very sorry that you feel that way. Again, nobody ever told you that it would be for security purposes; we go through thousands of guests and have to keep the line moving. And I promise you, the baby is unharmed.”

Customer: “THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! I would like to speak with the manager!”

Manager: “I am the manager. I do not know what you would like me to do for you.”

Customer: “Is there a phone number? Is there no one who can be reached so that we change the rules?”

Manager: “There is nothing to be done, as no harm as been done. Miss, with all due respect, I have to get back to my work. I can do nothing more for you but reassure you.”

(The lady stood there huffing angrily, while unfortunately the manager had no choice but to continue working and ignoring her. She eventually left, and there was no follow-up. But the entire situation was a new one for us, especially with how difficult it was for us to explain that the flash could not harm a baby or cause a miscarriage.)