(I work at an arcade and bar that closes at 2:00 am on the weekends. At 1:30, two women approach me.)

Woman: “Has anyone returned any keys to you?”

Me: “No, no one has. But lost and found is up at the front; you can go check there.”

Woman: “I was over there, and the girl there was really rude to me! She said they only do cleaning in the morning, and no one is going to look after we’ve closed.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Do you want to write down your number? We can call you if we find them.”

Woman: *rudely* “Yeah, but then how will I get home?”

Me: “Right. Well, I hope you find them.”

(I go back to my closing duties, because there’s nothing else I can do. I don’t hear exactly what she says, but she mumbles something to her friend and I hear the word “manager.” I turn back around and give her the biggest smile I can fake.)

Me: “Oh, would you like a manager?”

Woman: *rudely* “Um, yeah!”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t realize. One moment!”

(I call my manager over and he talks to her, telling her the same thing both my coworker and I did: we’re not going to search the building for her keys, and that her items are not the store’s responsibility. Twenty minutes later, I decide to go over to the front desk and see what really happened and if the woman found her keys.)

Me: “Were you the one talking to the woman who lost her keys?”

Coworker: “Yeah, she asked if she should wait around until we close, and I told her we do cleaning in the morning, and she gave me an attitude.”

Me: “Yeah, she was rude to me, too. Did she find her keys?”

Coworker: “Yeah, some guy found them on the ground outside and brought them in. I was so tempted to just throw them in the trash.”

Me: “I would have wanted to, too.”

(I have left the front counter with a coworker to deal with paperwork in the office. My coworker comes back to the office.)

Coworker: “Um… A customer came in and ordered a shake, and left his money on the counter.”

(Going up front, I find a Canadian bill on the counter.)

Customer: *returning from the bathroom* “Where’s my shake?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t accept Canadian currency.”

Customer: “So, what are you going to give me, since you won’t accept my money?”

Me: “Water.”

(We give the customer a cup for water and he walks out in a huff.)

Coworker: *to me* “He was trying to get something.”

Me: “We’re kind of far from the border; does he not realized he’s crossed it?”

(I am the customer in this one. I go up to a garden center employee looking for garden staples, but can’t remember what they are called.)

Me: “Excuse me. Could you help me real quick? I am looking for an L-shaped thing—” *makes a U shape with my hand* “—to hold something down in my garden.”

Employee: *looks at me strangely* “You mean like a stake? We have some with a head on them to make them kind of L shaped.” *hands me a flat-headed stake*

Me: “No, that’s not what I am looking for. I know I got them here before. They’re L-shaped…” *makes U shape with hands again* “…and are used to hold things down like soft fences and things.”

Employee: “This is the only L-shaped thing we have for that purpose. What did you need it for again?”

Me: *getting frustrated that I can’t think what they’re called* “It’s an L-shaped piece of metal.” *makes U shape with hands* “That you can push into the ground to hold something down, like a garden lining. I need it to secure a piece of fencing!”

Employee: *gives me a long look, then picks something else out from the shelves* “Is this what you’re looking for?” *holds out garden staples that are a full U-shape*

Me: “YES! That is exactly what I am looking for! I just could not think of staples! Thank you!”

Employee: “Oh, good. You really threw me off with the L-shaped thing.”

Me: “What? These are L-shape… OH!”

(A customer has just asked me to answer some questions. In Australia, it is still the norm to have data-limited plans for home Internet, although many ISPs sell higher-tier unlimited plans.)

Customer: “So, will this ADSL modem and router give me unlimited Internet?”

Me: “Yes, if you pay your ISP for such a service; the router is not what stops you from getting unlimited data.”

Customer: “So, the router will give me unlimited Internet?”

(It’s Sunday, and I’m an hour into a seven-and-a-half-hour register shift. I’ll note that it’s ten am and our customer service counter opened at eight, like every other day, and also, that since it’s Sunday, the bank in the store isn’t open.)

Customer: *holding out a hundred dollar bill* “Yeah, I’ll take a fifty, a twenty—”

(At this point I understand he wants change. I’m not allowed to open my drawer for anyone unless they’re making a purchase and I’m giving change, or if an employee of the cash office needs to take money from my drawer.)

Me: *being polite and smiling* “Sir, I’m sorry, but I can’t make change for you. Customer service can, though!” *gestures to the customer service counter up front*

Customer: *looking irritated* “I already went up there! She said she didn’t have enough money and to go to the bank, but they’re not open yet!”

(Obviously, he hasn’t realized yet it’s Sunday and most banks aren’t open, and my coworker obviously was on autopilot. I decide rather than make him more irate and tell him that it’s Sunday and the bank won’t open, I try to explain politely.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not allowed to open my drawer unless I’m giving back change on a purchase.”

Customer: *basically shaking his hundred dollar bill at me* “But I know you have a fifty in there; I saw it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but my managers have told me I’m not allowed to open my drawer unless I’m giving back change on a purchase. If you buy something and pay with the hundred, I can give you change.”

(I’ll also note our store is big on giving the best customer service we can.)

Customer: *giving me a wide-eyed, frankly kind of scary look* “Is that the kind of customer service you want to be giving?”

Me: *in my head* “Sir, I’d like to help you, but I’m not going to break rules for you and possibly get fired.” *out loud* “I apologize, sir, but there’s nothing else I can do.”

(The guy huffs, spins around, and browses the candy on display by the register before grabbing a pack of gum and tossing it on my belt. I scan his item, he hands me his hundred, and I count out his change and even triple-check because I really don’t want to piss him off anymore at this point. I stick a paid sticker on his gum and hand it and his change to him.)

Me: *as he’s walking away* “Have a great day, sir!”

(He just walked away, all irritated. I even gave him the stupid fifty he saw in my drawer — instead of the normal two twenties and a ten — in his change so he wouldn’t bother me anymore. I later told a manager, and she told me, “Good on you!” because I didn’t give in even though he was being rude.)