(I work at a local grocery store as a cashier. We sell frozen breakfast corndogs. They’re delicious; they are pancakes wrapped around breakfast sausages. The ends of the box are taped down. But a customer thinks that the box was tampered with when they see the tape.)

Customer: *stares at breakfast corndog box*

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “Yes. This box was tampered with.”

Me: “I see. Let me get you a new one.”

(I return from the frozen aisle.)

Me: “I just realised, after looking at all the boxes, that all of those have tape on the ends. I still got you a new box since the other one was dented.”

Customer: “That one was tampered with also; that one is taped, too!”

Me: “Ma’am, the box wasn’t tampered with. All the boxes are taped like that.”

Customer: “No, food boxes can’t be taped! I want you to get me an untaped one right now!”

Me: “You don’t understand. That’s just how that company packaged them.”

(A manager hears this back and forth, and comes to my register.)

Manager: “Is something wrong here?”

Customer: “This box of breakfast corndogs was tampered with, and your employee says that it wasn’t, even though it clearly was!”

(I explain the situation that all of the boxes are taped like that.)

Manager: “I’ll check the ones we have in the back, just to be sure.”

(The manager leaves for the back room, and comes back within two minutes.)

Manager: “[My Name] was right. That’s just how they’re packaged.”

Customer: “But food boxes can’t be taped, and the customer is always right! I expect a discount for all of this!”

Manager: “I’m afraid we can’t do that. If you’re so concerned about them, then you don’t have to buy the corndogs.”

(The customer quietly paid for the rest of her groceries, but then started ranting about how she should have been given a discount since we tried to sell damaged goods to her. She kept it up until she walked out the door.)

(I work in a vegan store. It is written all over our big signs, and even our logo has it in its name.)

Customer: “Do you sell eggs? Where are the eggs?”

Me: “We don’t sell any eggs, sorry, madam; we’re a vegan store.”

Customer: “But I want to make pancakes! How shall I bake pancakes without any eggs? How the h*** is that supposed to work? I need eggs! Why don’t you sell any eggs?”

Me: “You could also use mashed bananas or applesauce as an egg substitute.”

Customer: *starts yelling at me* “You might eat this s***, but I won’t eat your mud! You vegans again! Why do always have to force your beliefs on other people? I’m sick of this s***! I just wanted to buy eggs and you try to force veganism on me! Your attitude is unbelievable!”

This story is part of our Vegan Roundup!

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(I own a store, where we also sell some of our products without packaging in bulk, so people can bring their own jars and fill them up with nuts or noodles. We just sell SOME products like that; most products are normally packaged. A woman comes in, cuts in line, and yells at me.)

Customer: “I thought all your products were without any packaging! There are still some with plastic!”

Me: “We never said or advertised anywhere that we are 100% plastic-free; we just have a range of packaging-free products.”

Customer: “Have you ever asked God to help you make your store 100% plastic-free?”

(I look at her in disbelief, as do the other customers in line. She then sits on the sofa in our store, pats on the empty place next to her, and waves at me:)

Customer: “Here. Come; sit beside me. We will pray to Jesus Christ for your store to become plastic-free. If you would just open up for Jesus, all your wishes will come true. Even for your store to become packaging-free!”

(I work in a vegan store, so of course, we don’t sell any dairy products.)

Customer: “In which shelf do you have goat milk?”

Me: “We don’t sell any milk from animals, because we’re a vegan store.”

Customer: *thinks for some seconds* “But goat milk is not from cows; it must be vegan!”

Me: *looks at her* “But goats are also animals. And as I said, we don’t have products from any animal.”

Customer: “Ah, you are right. I never thought about that goats that way.”

This story is part of our Vegan Roundup!

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(I’ve sold a ticket to a man for a 5:00 pm show time. A few minutes later, I see him out of the corner of my eye entering the theater. It’s not even 1:00 pm yet. There’s an earlier showing of the movie already playing, plus a 2:30 pm showing before the one he bought his ticket for. I call a manager who goes into the theater and comes out with the man. I hear the following exchange.)

Manager: “I understand you bought a ticket to the five o’clock show time. If you’d like to see the rest of the current show time, I’ll have to ask you to exchange your ticket for it or buy a ticket to get in.”

Customer: “But this one is already playing!”

Manager: “I understand, sir.”

Customer: “Why can’t I just go see this one?”

Manager: “Because you didn’t buy a ticket to this show time.”

Customer: “But I bought a ticket to the five o’clock show time! So I should be able to watch the end of this.”

Manager: “That’s not how that works, sir.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Manager: “Sir, you bought a ticket for a specific show time. You need to go to that show time.”

Customer: *acting like he’s the smartest guy in the world* “But I just figured I’d watch the end of this one, and then I could also see the two-thirty show time and the five o’clock show time!”

Manager: *taken aback* “Sir, you essentially just told me you’re paying for one show time, but seeing three movies.”

Customer: *proud* “Yup!”

Manager: “Sir, that’s basically stealing.”

Customer: “How so?”

Manager: “You’re viewing two shows without paying for them!”

Customer: “But how is it stealing? I’m not taking them home.”

Manager: “You’re using a paid service without paying for it.”

Customer: “But it can’t be stealing if I’m not taking the movie home!”

Manager: “Seriously? You’re acquiring and using a service without paying for it. What else would you call it besides stealing of services?”

Customer: *beaming* “Being a smart customer who knows his rights!”

Manager: “Speaking of rights, you know I have the right to kick you out, right?”

Customer: *suddenly bolting towards the exit door* “I’ll be back at five!”