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The customer is NOT always right!

Not Taking The Bait

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: angler_zuba | June 30, 2022

I work in a fishing store. In walks one of my regular customers and a new guy, an older guy in his sixties. As is customary here in Poland, I greet them with a “good morning”. It’s rude not to reply or acknowledge a greeting, so my regular says hello. The old dude, however, does not. But I give it no mind.

My regular gets some gear (around $140 worth) and gets to paying. The old dude lines up behind him and waits.

Regular: “D***, I’m supposed to go shopping for groceries and I only have $160 on me.”

He starts to put back some items, so I stop him.

Me: “It’s fine. I’ll give you twenty bucks off since you buy here weekly.”

He leaves happy with enough cash left for groceries.

Seeing that, the old dude grabs some more stuff and comes back to get checked out.

Old Dude: “All right, that’s all. I grabbed some more stuff because I saw you were selling at a discounted price, so what’s my discount gonna be?”

I look at his total and it comes out to about $60.

Me: “Sir, I can’t really give you a discount since we usually give discounts with purchases equal to or above $100. But I’ll tell you what; I’ll give you fifty percent off the most expensive item in your bag—” *a fifty-dollar item* “—but if you promise to come back soon!

I say this jokingly with a big smile that quickly fades.

Old Dude: “Who the f*** do you think you are?! What kind of business do you think you’re running? You think you can just pick and choose a discount to give people? If you’re giving me a discount, it should be for all the items I have! Give me a better deal or I’m never coming back here!”

I’m so in shock that I have to take a few seconds to process what just happened. He doesn’t give me the chance to reply before he takes his arm and swipes everything to the ground.

Old Dude: “F*** this s***! I ain’t buying it anymore!”

That causes the two-kg bag of two-mm carp bait pellets (the item he would’ve gotten a discount on) to burst and spill little pellets all over the store’s floor and a bottle of bait booster (liquid attractant) to spill on the floor and make the whole shop smell like bloodworms (stinky).

Me: “Sir, you have to buy that.”

He gives me a stern “f*** no” and slaps the counter for some reason.

I then tell him that I have cameras, and if he won’t pay, I will be forced to call the police. I also add that we have cameras in the parking lot so I will know his plate numbers.

Suddenly, he has a magical change of heart,

Old Dude: “All right, fine, I’ll pay. So, that’s fifty percent off… making the pellets $25 and the booster $5—”

I cut him off.

Me: “No, that’s $50 for the pellets and $10 for the booster.”

Old Dude: “Wait, what?! Where’s my fifty percent off?! Don’t be a f****** brat about it!”

Me: “That fifty percent was only for the pellets, and your discount left as soon as your manners did. That will be $60 total.”

Old Dude: “D***, come on, kid! Don’t be a d**k. I’m sorry. Please give me a better price, and don’t be a b**** about it. Please, please, man! Do me a favor!”

After hearing that sorry excuse for an apology:

Me: “Nah, $60 or it’s the cops.”

The dude ended up paying after ten more minutes of pleading and calling me a d**k, and he left. The best part is that he still comes back in shame because we have the best prices in town.

Memory Loves Company

, , , , , | Right | June 30, 2022

A woman comes up to my desk with a stack of books and tells me that she needs to run out to her car to get her purse. She gets as far as the door, laughs, and comes back to the desk.

Customer: “I had my purse on my arm the whole time.”

After she pays for her books, all the while making little shame-faced jokes about her bad memory, I say:

Me: “Can I tell you a little story that might make you feel better?”

Customer: “Sure.”

Me: “This morning, my husband and I took the dog for a walk, and then he was going to drive me to work. I needed to stop at the corner store on the way to get a drink. After I got my drink, I walked out of the store and proceeded to walk to work. I got about half a block before I remembered that my husband was still waiting in the parking lot around the corner of the building, so he didn’t see me leave. Fortunately, he has a sense of humour.”

The customer told me I had indeed made her feel less embarrassed. I wish someone could do the same for me.

Finally “Ducking” Isn’t An Autocorrect

, , , , , , , | Right | June 30, 2022

I’m a cashier. A woman comes up to my counter.

Customer: *In a quiet voice* “Excuse me. You’ve got some ducks out in the parking lot. Um, they’re mating, and everyone can see it.”

Me: “Ha, well, I guess it’s that time of year or something.”

Customer: *Sternly* “Everyone can see what those ducks are doing! You need to send someone out there right now! My children might see it!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we’re very busy today.” *Points out the line of customers behind her* “We can’t spare anyone to do… that, right now.”

Customer: “Unacceptable! Manager, now!”

I call a manager and she makes her complaint.

Customer: “I am not being unreasonable!”

Manager: “With all due respect, ma’am, you’re the one who wants an employee to go outside and c**kblock a duck so your kids won’t know what banging is.”

Eventually, the manager did send a cart-pusher to make the lady feel better and ruin some duck’s big day.

You Need A (Wind)Shield From The Latecomers

, , , | Right | June 30, 2022

I was working as a cashier at a large retail store that sells car parts. Ten minutes after close, once the doors were locked and we were all closing out our tills, a man came up and banged on the doors. A manager went to the door to meet him.

Customer: “I need to get windshield wipers!”

Manager: “We’re closed, sir. We open again at 8 am tomorrow.”

Customer: “But I need windshield wipers!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, the tills are closed. You will have to come back tomorrow.”

The man leaves, clearly frustrated.

Cashier: “I don’t know why this is such an emergency. There’s no rain forecast before next week.”

This Just In: News Anchor Doesn’t Know How ID Works

, , , , | Right | June 30, 2022

I work at a movie theatre, and we have had a few ridiculous customers trying to buy alcohol without an ID. Our POS systems require a valid ID to serve alcohol.

A customer tries to show his news anchor badge.

Customer: “I’m old enough and I am on the news! You should be able to serve me!”