December Just Doesn’t Count

, , , | Right | December 13, 2018

(I’m standing in line at the customer service counter, and there is a lady in front of me trying to make a return.)

Employee: “Unfortunately, we cannot give you a refund on this product. There is a 30-day return policy on all electronics, and that’s already passed. The system will not let the refund through; I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. I got this for Christmas, and I don’t want it. I just want the money for it; I have the receipt.”

Employee: “Ma’am, I understand your frustration, but it’s been over 30 days, and the system…”

Customer: “It has not been 30 days!”

Employee: “Today is January 30th.”

Customer: “Yes, and I have 30 days to return it.”

Employee: “Umm…”

Customer: “Today is the 30th; this is the last day I have to return it!”

(She didn’t get her refund.)

Customers Expect You To Nip This In The Bud

, , , | Right | December 13, 2018

Customer: “You need to turn the AC down! It is too cold for the customers in here!”

Coworker: “Well, the people working in the kitchen area have four ovens running behind them, so they need the cool.”

(This man is now twiddling his nipples.)

Customer: “Too cold for customers!”

If You Do That You’re Competing With Yourself

, , | Right | December 13, 2018

(The phone rings.)

Me: “Hi. This is [Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t [Competitor]?

Me: “No, this is [Store].”

Customer: “Oh, well, do you know if [Competitor] has [item] and how much it is?”

Me: “No, sorry, I am not sure what that store carries in stock or pricing, but I can tell you what our store has and how much it is.”

Customer: “Yes, I know what you carry, but I want to know what [Competitor] has; can you tell me?”

Me: ” Sorry, I do not work at [Competitor], so I am not able to tell you if they have that item.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because I do not work there; however, if you call them, I am sure they can give you the information you need.”

Customer: “Well, you are not very helpful! I would think that you would keep track of all the prices and items your competitor has, to stay competitive! Call them and check, and then call me back and let me know!”

Me: *bangs head on keyboard*

Keeping These Customers At Injured Arm’s Length

, , , , , , | Right | December 12, 2018

(I’m cashing out a lady whose arm is in a sort of sling. I assume it’s sore or injured, but she seems to be managing fine otherwise, if a little slower than average. At first, she’s polite, but becomes increasingly difficult as the transaction goes on.)

Customer: “Can you check the price of this, please? The ticket says a dollar, but I’m not sure.”

(She hands me a two-litre bottle of soft drink, one I know for a fact is not $1, nor have we ever sold it for that price.)

Me: “The [soft drink] should be $1.69.” *scans item* “Yes, it’s $1.69.”

Customer: “No, the ticket says one dollar.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it is actually $1.69. The ticket should say that [soft drink] is $1.69, also. I know, because I put the ticket there myself, actually.”

Customer: “NO! You’re wrong! It says one dollar.”

Me: “Sorry, but [soft drink] is $1.69. It was previously $1.50, but we have never once sold it for $1. If you want, I’ll call for a price check.”

(She agrees, so I call my coworker for a price check. Surprise, surprise, they confirm that the ticket does say $1.69. The customer decides to leave [soft drink], and I continue scanning the rest of her items, with her occasionally asking the prices of other items. Finally, we get to the end, and it’s time for her to pay.)

Me: “Okay, your total comes to [total]. Was that cash or card?”

Customer: “Oh, I better transfer some money. Just wait one second, please.”

(A queue has built up, so I call for another cashier. A few minutes pass, and the customer is still transferring her money, meanwhile rambling to me about how she needs to go to [Health Insurance] to get a refund, and that’s why she doesn’t have enough money in her account. I’m nodding along politely, but the line is building, so I try to politely hurry her along)

Me: “Sorry, but would you mind if I put your items to one side while you wait for your transfer? We just have a few people in line.”

Customer: “No, I’m nearly done! You have to be patient with me; I’ve only got one working arm!”

(She happens to tilt her phone and I get a look at the screen. She is using the same banking app that I have myself, and I know a transfer takes only a few seconds. She has been standing at my register for almost ten minutes TRANSFERRING money. I have no idea what she could be possibly doing, but finally, she tells me the money has transferred and she pays.)

Customer: “Thank you for waiting.” *goes to grab items* “Oh, you need to double-bag these. I’ve only got one working arm!”

Me: “Oh, sorry, ma’am, it’s just that we’ve got customers waiting…”

Customer: “I don’t care! You have to be patient with me! I’ve only got one working arm, and I’m not supposed to be using this one; it’s injured! My doctor is going to be mad at me!”

(Finally, after a nearly twenty-minute transaction, she leaves.)

Coworker: “First of all, you were stuck with her for over ten minutes; how much more patient can you be?! And second, how is it your fault that her arm is injured? If doctor’s orders say she shouldn’t be using it, she shouldn’t be using it! Some people!”

(I mentioned the ordeal to my manager. He said I should have kicked her out of the store when she refused to move aside so I could serve others!)

Well… Yes And Bo

, , , | Right | December 12, 2018

(My brother works at Bojangles, whose contains the slogan, “It’s Bo time.” A man walks in one day.)

Customer: “Is it Bo time?”

Worker: *in a joking tone* “No.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, then.”

(He actually left, and approached a worker in the parking lot, claiming that the people inside refused him service! He finally came inside and actually ordered.)

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