Time To Trample His Misogyny

, , , , | Right | April 22, 2019

(My fiancé and I have gone to our local comic shop and gaming store to play in a “Magic: The Gathering” draft tournament. After everyone has signed up and paid, the owner tells us to take a seat at the tables so that he and his employee can pass out the packs of cards. As he’s handing out packs, the shop employee taps a guy on the shoulder and points at the girl sitting next to him.)

Employee: “She’s not playing, so she can’t sit there.” *shrugs* “I’m not saying you’d cheat, but those are the rules so that people aren’t tempted to cheat.”

Guy: “Oh, okay.” *to the girl* “Sorry, baby.”

Girl: “That’s okay. I’m just going to take the car and go grab something to eat, okay?”

(She gets up and starts to leave the shop. The guy watches her go and notices me as she walks past me.)

Guy: *suddenly pointing at me* “Hey! If my girlfriend can’t sit with me, then she can’t sit with him!”

Employee: *without looking up from what he’s doing* “Yes, she can. She’s playing.”

Guy: *scowling* “But you made my girlfriend leave!”

Employee: *rolls his eyes* “I said she’s playing. If you want your girlfriend to sit with you, go pay [Shop Owner] $15 so she can play.”

Guy: *scoffs* “My girlfriend doesn’t want to play Magic.”

Employee: *pointing at me* “Well, she does want to play and has paid her $15, so she can sit right there with her man if she wants to.”

Guy: *grumbling* “It’s not fair.”

Employee: *groans* “Life’s not fair. But she’s paid her money and it wouldn’t be fair for me to make her leave.”

(The guy starts to complain again but a friend of ours, who is sitting next to him, cuts him off.)

Friend: *annoyed* “Oh, my God, shut up! She’s in here with him all the time! She legitimately knows what she’s doing and paid to sit her a** in that chair, so shut the f*** up or do us all a favor and leave!

(The guy sulked the rest of the evening and even pouted when I came in fourth place.)

What A Crock

, , , | Right | April 21, 2019

(My family and I are on holiday visiting a craft village. We are currently in a kitchenware shop and I’m standing next to a “Le Creuset” crockery display distinguishable by its bright orange colour. I have a pram with a child inside and I’m holding my other child. I’m wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you know how much this set is?”

Me: “Erm, no, sorry. I don’t have a clue.”

Customer: “Do you not work here?”

Me: “No!”

Customer: “Oh, right, it’s just because your t-shirt is the same colour as the crockery.”

(This happened about five years ago and has confused me ever since.)

The Easter Bunny Has Learned To Avoid Black Friday

, , , , , , | Right | April 21, 2019

(I work at a chocolate store and it is Easter time, the craziest time of the year, when customers are desperate to grab chocolate before somebody else does. I’ve seen a lot of arguments break out over chocolate eggs and whatnot, but never an incident like this before.)

Old Lady: *seems like a sweet little lady* “Hello, dear. I was wondering if you could show me where the chocolate bunnies are? I need one for my grandson.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am. I’d be more than happy to help.”

(I show her, and it looks like there’s only one more left on the shelf. She takes it and thanks me.)

Me: “Well, you’re in luck! That’s the last one. The registers are over here, ma’am, and thank you for shopping with us.”

(She is extremely polite throughout the whole exchange and goes on her way. Less than a minute later:)

Customer: “Do you have any chocolate bunnies? I really need one.”

Me: *cringes, knowing what’s going to happen* “Um, actually, that lady there just took the last one… so…”

(The customer immediately takes off, and I can see her yelling at the little old lady. The lady is calm, though, and when the other customer stops to catch her breath, the old lady pulls out A TASER and threatens her with it. She doesn’t get angry or anything. The customer pales and runs away, apologizing. This freaks me the h*** out. I don’t even know if tasers are legal here, or what. I walk over to her, praying.)

Me: “Uh… ma’am… I… your taser…” *sweating nervously*

Old Lady: *laughs* “Oh, sorry, dear. Did I scare you? It doesn’t work; there are no batteries in it. See?” *presses button, nothing happens* “I’ve been carrying it around since I went Black Friday shopping last year. Thank you again for your help!” *leaves*

(I don’t even want to know what happened last year on Black Friday.)

It’s A Mad Mad Magdarame World

, , , , , | Right | April 21, 2019

I work in a small call centre with my friend. One of the shows we are selling today is an Easter play depicting the Crucifixion of Jesus. A few minutes ago, [Friend] got a call from a woman who asked us if the crucifixion being depicted was a person really being crucified, as opposed to an actor pretending to be crucified. [Friend] explained that it was just an actor and the woman was apparently disappointed.

The woman had a Filipina accent; people who are especially religious in the Philippines actually crucify themselves there each year. It’s only for a few minutes, mind you, but it is a real crucifixion. Apparently, she was hoping to see the same thing here in Canada.

An Even Odder Request Than Usual

, , , | Right | April 20, 2019

(I work at a metal supplier. We have an “Odds and Ends” rack in our shop that has short and damaged metal sections and plates, with the most expensive item usually around $5.00. A customer sees a small bit of plate with a price tag of $5.00 and puts it on the counter.)

Me: “Hey, mate, that’s all for today?”

Customer: “Yeah, should get me out of trouble.”

Me: “No problems. That’ll be $5. Did you want a receipt for that?”

Customer: “Nah, mate, I want it for free.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “I want it for free; it’s a worthless piece.”

Me: “Sorry, mate, if it was worthless it would have gone in the scrap bin which got emptied this morning.”

Customer: “Come on. Show a bit of charity.”

Me: “Well, mate, this is a business, not a charity. If you want charity, there is a [Charity] down the road.”

(I take the piece off the counter.)

Customer: “Whatever.”

(The customer grabs a $5 note out of his wallet and drops it on the ground.)

Customer: “There you go. Come around and grab your precious $5 and give me my piece.”

Me: “You haven’t paid for it yet. You’ve dropped your money on the ground; you mind picking it up for me?”

Customer: “There’s no respect these days from customer service people.” *grabs the note and puts it on the counter*

Me: “Respect is a two-way street; you get what you give.’ *hands him his piece* “Have a good day and we hope to see you again.”

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