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The customer is NOT always right!

A Fee-ble Attempt At Complaining

, , , , | Right | February 7, 2023

I used to be a funding supervisor at a call center. I didn’t supervise anyone, but when a customer would ask to speak to a supervisor regarding a funding issue, my team would get the call.

There is a particular fee that customers get when they haven’t completed a mandated annual security survey.

Caller: “I’m calling to complain about a fee I noticed on my statement. I don’t recognize it and I want an explanation! What is it and why is it on my statement?!”

I was able to explain to him what it was and how to get it removed, and I even agreed to a small refund for the fee for several months. That part of the call was fine and completely normal.

Me: “Is there anything else that I can help you with?”

Caller: *Yelling* “You hid that fee from me by putting it on my statement!”

I didn’t even bother trying to explain to him that we put it on his statement specifically so that he would see it and call to get it resolved. I guess he wore himself out after a few minutes because he finally told me that it wasn’t fair and hung up the call.

Running Out Of Ways To Put This Deli-cately, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | February 7, 2023

I am at the deli counter in the grocery store. It’s the middle of the day, and it’s not very busy, but I am in a bit of a hurry since I am trying to buy sandwich stuff for the week on my lunch break on Monday. My boss doesn’t usually notice when I leave, so the risk of being gone too long is minimal but still on my mind

The guy ahead of me is being served by someone who is currently cutting part of his order. Another deli person comes out from their little side room and looks at me.

Deli Guy: “Are you being helped?”

Me: “Hi, not yet. Can—”

The customer ahead of me speaks up.

Customer: “No! I was here first; he’s going to serve me!

Me: “Uh, that lady is currently helping you, and you don’t need both workers for one order. I really just need one thing, so can I please just order?”

Customer: “I need both people! It’ll be faster!”

At this point, the woman serving him is done with his first item and has very obviously heard him. She comes up with his meat and asks what else he wants.

The deli guy and I move a bit further down the case, and I give him my very short order of one pound of turkey. He goes to slice it, and the other customer sees and stares at me the entire time it’s being sliced.

At this point, a woman comes up and joins him, putting some dry goods in their cart.

Customer: “We would be done by now, but some young people don’t know how to wait their turn.”

He glares at me. I let out a short laugh and almost did the whole “Okay, boomer” meme, but instead, I stop, not wanting to lean into what he thinks I am, and just say:

Me: “Okay, buh… Whatever.”

I left to check out. For a second, I was wondering if I had done something wrong, but no, that’s not how delis work, at least not in Brooklyn: you get one worker, and the other worker is for another customer.

Running Out Of Ways To Put This Deli-cately

Hej! Get Back Here!

, , , , | Right | February 7, 2023

My wife and I go to [Famous Swedish Furniture Store]. I’m tired after a long day at work, so I sit down on one of their chairs and guard the stuff we’ve picked out so far.

A guy grabs something from our pile of stuff and starts walking away. I follow him.

Me: “Hey! Give that back! That’s mine! Hey!”

He brings it to his wife and kids.

Customer: “The cats will love this. And look, it’s on clearance!”

Me: *Catching up to him* “Hey, my wife and I already picked that out, and I was guarding it.”

Customer: “Sorry, I thought you were some homeless person taking a nap on the chair.”

Me: “Look, can I have the laundry hamper back, please?”

Customer: “It’s a cat castle. If you’d really picked it out, you would know what it was.”

Me: “It says laundry hamper on the tag. Please, I was guarding it for my wife.”

Customer’s Wife: “Honey, just give it back to him. We can find another.”

Customer: “Fine. It’s your fault if our cats don’t get this cool cat castle.”

I didn’t even reply. I just walked back to the chair and put it back on our pile of stuff.

You Burst Her Bubble (Tea)

, , , , , , , , | Right | February 7, 2023

I work for a bubble tea shop. Bubble tea is a flavoured milk or tea drink that usually comes with tapioca balls — the “bubbles” — and in our place, we add them by default unless asked to remove them or replace them with another item.

A customer I have just served comes up to me and slams her drink on the counter.

Customer: “What the f*** is this?! Your drink is rotten!”

Me: “What do you mean, ma’am? The milk is fresh, and the flavoring is powdered.”

Customer: “Your milk has curdled! It’s full of disgusting lumps!”

Me: “Those are tapioca balls, ma’am. They’re part of the drink.”

Customer: “They’re disgusting! I didn’t ask for this disgusting Asian s***!”

Me: *Trying to ignore the casual racism* “Ma’am, they’re a major part of the bubble tea experience, and they’re mentioned on the menu and when you order from us. If you like, I can remake your drink without the tapioca.”

Customer: “I want a refund and a free drink!”

Me: “You’re not getting a refund.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “The same reason you don’t get a refund in [Fast Food Chain] when you order a burger and you didn’t want the patty.”

Customer: “Well… that’s not fair! I don’t know all this Asian crap!”

Me: “Our menu is in English.”

Customer: “I’m going to write a bad review online about you!”

Me: “Woman complains that her bubble tea contains bubbles. Can’t wait to read it.”

She stormed out, minus her drink. No bad review ever appeared.

Boomer Marriage Humor Comes With A Booming Voice

, , , | Right | February 7, 2023

I’m busy stocking shelves when I notice a customer behind me browsing.

Me: “Oh, hello, sir. Can I help you?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I’m just looking.”

Then, a voice from across the store calls.


Customer: “But I can help you. Never get married.”

And then he was gone.