Winning At This Competition

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2019

(A customer has asked me for a particular brand’s item.)

Me: “Sorry, that is [Competitor]’s own brand; we don’t have that.”

Customer: *emphasising as if I’m stupid* “I know it’s [Competitor]’s brand. Where is the [Brand] stuff?”

Me: “This is [Company], not [Competitor]; we don’t have that brand.”

Customer: “I. KNOW. WHERE. I. AM. I’m not asking if you have it; I want to know if they have it?”

Me: “I don’t know. I couldn’t tell you that.”

Customer: “What good are you? Why don’t you know?”

Me: “Because I don’t work at [Competitor]; I work here.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you ring them and find out?”

Me: “No, I don’t have their number.”

Customer: “Why not? You should, so you can call them for customers.”

Me: “Because I work for [Company], and not for our competitor.”

Customer: “So, you are going to make me drive all the way over there?” *it’s fifteen minutes away* “I won’t be very happy if they don’t have it. I’ll be calling your superiors if you’ve wasted my time.” *storms out*

(I call after her, as by this time I don’t give a s***:)

Me: “I can give you that number.”

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 13

, , , | Right | February 15, 2019

Customer: “Excuse me. I need help looking for this.”

(She produces a promotional magazine for the shop next door.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is for next door.”

Customer: “I know.”

Me: “You will need to find help next door.”

Customer: “They’re all busy. Why can’t you help me?”

Me: “Because I don’t work there.”

Customer: “Aren’t all these shops the same?”

Me: “Miss, this is a tool shop, not a clothes outlet.”

Customer: “Humph! I’ll be calling your complaints department!” *storms out*

(She didn’t actually call our complaints department, but the one next door. I can only imagine what the poor person thought on the other end of the phone.)

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 12
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 11
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 10

Try Being Quiet AND Not Being A Jerk

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2019

(I’m working customer service when one of our regular, elderly customers, [Customer #1], comes up to the desk and does what he usually does: he asks for the aisle numbers for a few items. Another customer, [Customer #], comes up behind him.)

Customer #2: *quietly, but as I’m still helping the first customer* “Can I get a pack of [cigarettes]?”

Me: “One moment, sir. I’m still helping this gentleman.”

Customer #2: *while I’m STILL helping the first customer* “Well, can’t you help me while you’re waiting for him to speak?”

(I ignore him as I finish helping [Customer #1]. When I am done, I turn to [Customer #2].)

Me: *to [Customer #2]* “How can I help you?”

Customer #2: “A pack of [cigarettes]. And I’ll make sure to let your managers know of your ‘excellent’ customer service, and how you can’t handle multitasking very well.”

Me: “I can multitask pretty well, actually.”

Customer #2: “Apparently not.”

Me: “Yes, I can, sir. I was just trying to not be rude to the other customer.”

Customer #2: “I wasn’t being rude; that’s why I asked quietly.”

Me: “Okay, sir.” *hands him his change and he walks away*

(Another customer comes up to the desk after hearing what just happened.)

Customer #3: “Wow…”

Me: “I know! Thank you!”

([Customer #2], about ten feet away, drops the change I just gave him.)

Me: *to [Customer #3]* “Well, look who can’t multitask by walking and carrying change at the same time.”

Banking On Them Getting To That Part Of The Fine Print

, , , , , , | Right | February 15, 2019

(I work at the admissions desk of a museum, selling entry tickets. It is an extremely busy day as it is a public holiday and the weather is nice. Even with every till open and as many staff as possible trying to get people through the doors, the waiting time for the visitors is still around an hour and a half. A small family approaches my desk to pay for their tickets.)

Me: “Hello, I’m sorry about the wait today.”

Customer: “I want to use this two-for-one voucher.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry, but unfortunately we can’t accept two-for-one vouchers on bank holidays.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “We’re unable to accept that voucher today, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “You mean to tell me that we’ve stood in this queue for two hours, and now you’re going to tell me that I can’t even use my voucher?!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about the wait; we’re extremely busy today. But it does state clearly at the bottom of the voucher that it cannot be used on bank holidays.”

Customer: “Are you stupid?! Do you honestly think that I would have stood in this queue for hours and hours and not even bothered to read this? It doesn’t say anywhere on this voucher that it can’t be used today, nowhere!”

Me: “It does say at the bottom—“

Customer: “No, it does not! I think your attitude is appalling. You’re just trying to con me out of a deal! I think you’re just trying to scam people and pocket the difference! To prove it to you, I am going to stand here and read the contents of this voucher out loud, so you’ll hear it doesn’t state that anywhere, and then I want to speak to your manager about your attitude!”

(I resisted the urge to point out that I do not work on commission and am certainly not a thief, and patiently stood there as she loudly read the entire contents of the voucher to me. At this point, she’d raised her voice enough to attract the attention of other customers in the queue. She read the spiel about how the voucher couldn’t be used with any other offer and so on, all neatly laid out in bullet points, in a large enough font… until she reached the BOLDED bullet point about the voucher not being accepted on bank holidays and abruptly stopped talking. She refused to even look at me as she handed her purse to her husband and walked away, leaving him and their very embarrassed-looking children to purchase their tickets.)

They Are First-Class Jerks

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2019

(I am required to travel from the US to one of my company’s offices in London the week before Christmas, in order to train people on a new system we were going to implement after New Years. I am annoyed with having to leave my wife alone with our two young children and that I am having to travel so close to the holidays. At least my managers understand that someone in my position would be frustrated, so they arrange for me to fly first class on both the flight to London and the returning one. I am one of the last people to board my flight to London, and I am greeted by a man sitting in my seat, kissing the female passenger next to him. They realize I am standing there and start talking.)

Guy: “Is this your seat? We have been waiting for you.”

Me: *with a confused look* “Excuse me?”

Guy: “Well, me and my wife here are going on our honeymoon, and we got an upgrade to first class, but we are not sitting together. We were wondering if you would be willing to switch seats with me so I can sit next to her?”

Me: “Where is your seat?”

Guy: “It’s [seat that is not only in economy, but is also a middle seat]. Thanks so much for this buddy. Really appreciate it.” *immediately goes back to talking to his wife*

Me: *as I start putting my bags in the overhead bin* “Sir, I’m sorry, but I did not say I would switch with you; I was asking where your seat was to see if I would switch. Can you please move from my seat?”

Guy: “You just said you would switch with me, and now you’re taking it back. Are you really going to be like this?”

Me: “As I said, I was asking where your seat was before I agreed to change seats. No offense, but while it is your honeymoon, I am not comfortable trading my first class seat for one in economy.”

Guy: “Come on, man. I really want to sit with my wife. We could only get one upgrade from the lady at the desk because first class is full. I really would like to sit with her.”

Me: *trying to be nice, but not caving in to his idea to switch* “Again, I understand that, but I would like to sit in my seat. Maybe someone else here is willing to switch, but it is not me. Or maybe you could ask one of the people sitting next to you in economy if they will switch so you and your wife can sit together back there.”

Guy: *with a look like I just pissed in his coffee* “Listen to me. I want to sit with my wife, here in first class. Just stop making this difficult. It is our honeymoon. Maybe have some kindness.”

Me: “Sir, you are asking a complete stranger to take a downgraded seat and give you their better seat for free. I am kind of shocked that you thought anyone would take that agreement. I did not pay for you to sit in my seat, so please move.”

(I notice the wife has pressed her button for the flight attendant and she shows up soon.)

Attendant: “Is everything okay here?”

(I try to talk but the wife immediately starts speaking.)

Woman: “This man has been harassing my husband and me since he boarded. He keeps claiming I am sitting in his seat, but this seat is mine.” *shows her ticket* “Can you please move him away from us?”

(The attendant is about to speak with me when the passenger sitting behind the man and woman speaks up.)

Passenger: “This woman is lying through her teeth. The husband is sitting in that man’s seat and he refused to move, and pretty much threatened him to switch seats and go to economy.”

(The flight attendant asks to see my ticket and then the husband’s. She then asks me to come with her to the front of the plane and have me wait while she talks to the captain. I can see how she is getting frustrated, since the plane is about ready to take off and this whole mishap is causing a delay. After she is done talking, she goes back with me to my seat and talks to the couple.)

Attendant: “So, I have spoken with the pilot about this issue. We have called the desk agents and determined this man has paid for his ticket while you—“ *pointing at the wife* “—were given a free upgrade. Now that the two of you treated a passenger terribly and then lied, we have two options for you. A: both of you get up and sit in economy, since there are still plenty of seats back there, or B: you two leave this plane, either by your free will or by security.”

Woman: *suddenly looking a bit panicked* “Oh, don’t worry. My husband will move back to his seat, and I promise I will be on my best behavior up here.”

Attendant: “Sorry, miss, but that is no longer an option, because you used an opportunity to sit in first class to harass another passenger. I have told you what your two options are, and I will need your decision immediately. In all honesty, I wouldn’t have even given you two the option to go back to economy if the pilot didn’t feel bad it was your honeymoon.”

(The husband and wife then got up, while glaring at me, and moved back to economy. I was feeling good after that, because I not only had room in first class, but an empty seat next to me, as well. The flight attendant also talked to me and said that she was sorry for how that couple had treated me, and that the pilot requested a flag be put on the couple’s names so that they would not receive any other upgrades when flying with the airline.)

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