Not Since Johnny Storm Quit

, , , | Right | September 28, 2020

I work at a donut shop. It is my first week of working here.

Customer: “Hello. Are your apple fritters handmade?”

Me: “They are, in fact, handmade by the same person that decorates the donuts and then deep-fried. The machine cooks them.”

Customer: “The machine cooks them?”

Me: “Yes. They’re handmade in the back. A machine cooks them.”

Customer: “Then they’re not handmade.”

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23 Crazy Stories About Nosy, Naughty Neighbors!

| Right | September 28, 2020

Dear readers,

It’s National Neighbor Day! Being on good terms with your neighbors can make you feel safe and loved. It’s nice to know the people who live next door aren’t serial murderers and might even be good for a cup of sugar or a weekend watching your cat.

On the flip side, there are people who aren’t the good neighbors that Mister Rogers wants them to be. We’ve rounded up 23 stories from our archives about the neighbors who you don’t hope to meet when you stroll down the street. We hope your neighbors aren’t anything like these people!

 

Gossip And Wine: The Fuel Of The Soccer Mom – The gossip shop might be closed for the night, but the rumor mill is always turning.

Gone In A Keystroke – Okay, remember that thing we said about watching your cat? Um…

Motorpsycho – Sometimes Instant Karma is very, very painful. (more…)

The Talking Bread

, , , , , , | Right | September 28, 2020

My coworker is the sort of gentleman that, once you see him, you never forget him, as he’s absolutely huge. He works in the seafood department which is adjacent to the meat department. Late one evening, well after meat and seafood are closed, he comes into the store to do some personal shopping. A lady approaches him to demand that he cut a large roast in half for her.

Coworker: “I’m sorry but the meat department is closed. If you come back after eight in the morning, the butchers will be happy to cut it for you.”

Customer: “You work here. You do it.”

Coworker: “Madam, I am off duty. Furthermore, I work in seafood. I’m not trained to operate the meat saw. And the butcher shop is cleaned up and closed for the evening. You have to come back when the butchers are here in the morning.”

Customer: *Now angry* “I demand service. Cut this in half for me now.”

Coworker: “As I explained, I cannot do that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have shopping to do.”

Customer: “I’m the customer. You will do what I want.”

Coworker: “Let me find you a manager.”

He brings the night manager over and the lady starts in on him. The manager simply repeats what my coworker has said but the lady is having none of it, demanding that he make my coworker cut the roast for her. [Coworker] goes over to a display rack, brings back a loaf of bread, and sets it on the edge of the cooler.

Woman: “What’s that for?”

Coworker: “It will sit there and listen to you all night. We have things to do.” *Walks off*


Tell your story today! Ever been able to say the perfect thing at the perfect time to a bad customer? Share it with the NAR community so we can all enjoy it too!

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A Little Ignorance Will Kill You

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2020

I am a handyman, and a customer has asked me to do some interior work in a crawlspace. However, since this is a house that is still being built, the power has not been hooked up yet. There is a generator onsite, but due to a few issues, I would have to take the generator up into the crawlspace to make effective use of it.

Me: “I’m sorry, [Client], but I can’t do the work that you are asking.”

Client: “Why not?”

Me: “Because that would require me to take the generator up to the crawlspace with me. It’s not safe.”

Client: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “Well, the generator puts off carbon monoxide, which isn’t safe to breathe, especially in an enclosed space like that.”

Client: “A little carbon monoxide won’t kill you.”

I then had to spend the next ten minutes explaining to the customer why that was wrong. They eventually agreed to put the work off until the electricity was hooked up.

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You Got Beat, Period

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2020

I am waiting in line in a supermarket. Ahead of me is a guy currently paying for his groceries, and a group of three teenage boys who are of that age where they’re trying to be cool and tough in front of each other.

Teenager #1: “Eww, bruv, this [gay slur] is buying some tampons!”

Teenager #2: “Eww, sick man!”

Teenager #1: *To the customer* “Bruv, your woman got you buying her s***, yeah? She the man, yeah?”

I am about to speak up when the customer turns to face all three boys and says:

Customer: “I understand why it’s gross for you to think about periods. I’m sure all your mothers prayed for their periods, and they got you instead.”

The boys were silent a moment, and then threw in some weak comebacks that didn’t go very far. They left their items behind and stormed out. At least they had enough intelligence to know they were beat.

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