(I work in maintenance. I’m cleaning a spill as this occurs.)
Customer: “Oh, honey, I’m sorry.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “You’re cleaning a gross mess.”
Me: “Well, yes. I’m maintenance.”
Customer: “But you’re a lady. Ladies shouldn’t clean gross messes unless it’s for their kids. They should get a man to do your job.”
Me: *speechless until she left*
(I work in a small pawn shop. A regular comes in. He usually has unusual items he buys at garage sales to sell us. On this day he is slightly tipsy and empty-handed. My boss is working out in the back but can hear everything.)
Me: “Good afternoon, [Regular]. What can I do for you?”
Regular: “Um… Yeah, this is going to sound weird, but how much for me?”
Me: *in shock* “I’m sorry?”
Regular: “I’m broke until tomorrow, but I need more beer, smokes, and something to eat. How much will you give on a loan for me?”
Me: “I’m sorry, [Regular], but to pawn something, you need to leave the item here, so pawning yourself wouldn’t really help you.”
Regular: *with a sigh of defeat* “Oh, okay. Thanks, anyway.”
(He turns to leave but my boss stops him.)
Boss: “Hey, [Regular], in the twenty years I’ve owned the shop, that’s a first. I’ll personally loan you $50 just for having the balls to do it.”
(My boss — the owner — did lend him the money, and the regular was waiting for us to open the next morning to repay the loan. Over the next five years I worked there, he continued to sell us stuff. He would occasionally come in asking to pawn himself, and my boss always lent him the money.)
(I work in a museum in the UK.)
Caller: “Hello. I’m conducting some family history research and I need information about [Person] buried in [Village].”
Me: “Unfortunately, our archivist is out of the office at the moment.”
Caller: “Well, that’s typical! These people get paid so much that they’re always on holiday!”
Me: “She’s actually meeting with a local history group, but she’ll be back shortly, so I’ll take a few details and ask her to call you when she returns.”
Caller: “Why can’t you get me the information? All you do all day is sit in an office answering the phone. You should get out more.”
Me: “The archivist is really the best person for this enquiry. I’ll just take some details.”
(The caller goes on for a bit about the information he wants, and I take notes. Then, suddenly, this happens:)
Caller: “I used to be an engineer, you know. I travelled the world. You people have no ambition or life experience. You think the world is the Internet. That’s all you know.”
Me: *ignoring his outburst* “So, I’ll pass on the information you’ve given me to our archivist.”
Caller: “You people don’t know what the real world is. You just sit in front of the Internet while our NHS gets exploited by foreigners. You need to do something with your life. I bet you’ve never even been abroad. Get some experience. Then you’ll realise why intelligent people like me voted for Brexit!”
(Despite having British parents and an “English” accent, I grew up “abroad.” However, given his views on “foreigners,” I decide not to mention this.)
Caller: “Nowhere else has a nationalised health service. You didn’t know that! We’re the only country that does. Everywhere else they have to have insurance and pay a fortune. That’s why they all want to come here.”
Me: *forcing myself not to correct him* “I think I’ve got everything I need to process your enquiry, so unless there’s any more family history information you’d like, you can leave this with me.”
Caller: “My family is related to [Famous Company]. You wouldn’t have heard of them, because if it’s not on the Internet, you don’t know about it.”
Me: “Right…”
Caller: “You should really educate yourself more. Do something with your life.”
Me: “Okay, well, right now, I’m going to take your enquiry to our archives department. Good day.”
(I hang up the phone, rest my head on the desk, and scream. The archivist pops her head round the door.)
Archivist: “I’m back! Oh, my… What happened while I was out?”
Me: “This guy would like you to call him back. Have fun!”
(I am serving a customer when another customer bypasses the other three people in line and stands next to the first customer. Usually, customers who want to ask questions do this.)
Me: *while packing my customer’s sales* “Hi. Do you have a question?”
Customer #1: “No, I’m in a hurry and I need to be served next.”
Me: “Sorry, but you need to join the line.”
Customer #1: “But I said I was in a hurry; it’s almost time for me to pick up my child from school and I’m going to be late. You need to serve me next.”
Me: “It’s not me you have to ask; there are other people waiting here, too.”
Customer #1: *to next customer in line* “Will you let me in?”
Customer #2: “No.”
Customer #1: “But I need to pick up my child.”
Customer #2: “I need to pick up my child, too.”
(She turns to the next customer.)
Customer #3: “No, I need to pick up my child, too.”
(Followed by:)
Customer #4: “No, you should have thought about that before you spent the last hour in here shopping.”
(There is a pharmacy in the same building as my doctor’s office, but it opens at 8:30 rather than 8:00 as the office does. It has a metal gate across the entrance when closed, just like most stores in a mall do. I come in just after 8:00 and am waiting for my turn when a woman comes out from her appointment with a prescription sheet and starts hovering right in front of the pharmacy gate.)
Woman: *to the employee inside who is obviously trying to set up to open* “Excuse me… Excuse me!”
Employee: “Yes?”
Woman: “Are you open yet?”
Employee: *slight pause* “No. That’s why the gate is closed and the lights are off.”
Woman: “Oh.” *wanders away*
(Everyone else in the waiting room was trying not to laugh. Really, how much more obvious do you need it to be?)
Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 29
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 28
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 27
