(This is in mid-January. An older man approaches me at the circulation desk.)

Customer: “Do you have tax forms here?”

Me: “I don’t think so; we normally don’t get those until later in the month.”

Customer: “Well, I called and talked to someone who said you do.”

Me: “If we have any, they’ll be on the counter in the computer area, but I didn’t notice any when I was back there earlier.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll go take a look.” *leaves and comes back a few minutes later* “They’re not back there. Why would somebody tell me you had them here when you don’t?”

Me: “Do you know who you spoke with? When did you call?”

Customer: “I don’t remember; it was about ten months ago.”

Me: “Well, sir, in that case, they would have been talking about last year’s forms. If you called ten months ago, that would have been March of last year, so we would have had last year’s forms out. We haven’t received the forms for this year yet.”

Customer: “But why would they tell me you had them, and then when I come in you don’t have them? That’s a waste of my time!”

Me: “When you called, we did have them, for last year. But the forms are different each year; we haven’t received the ones for this year yet.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand why someone would say you have the forms when you don’t have them. I called and they told me you have the forms, and now when I come in, you don’t have them. This has just been a big waste of my time.”

(I work in a home improvement store. It’s 8:30 on a Saturday morning during a summer hiring fair. I’m the only cashier due to the other cashier requiring a break and the supervisor running the hiring table. Four people decide to all check out at the same time. While I’m ringing up the first person, I overhear two of the others talking.)

Woman #1: “I can’t believe they only have one cashier! I hate waiting.”

Woman #2: “And they don’t have self-checkouts open, either.”

Woman #1: “Well, I won’t use them. If you can’t get me a cashier; I’m out of there!”

Woman #2: “Yeah! I won’t use them, either. They’re just trying to fire all cashiers and replace them with machines. And the ones they do have are paid $8 an hour and get no insurance. They just want to keep people on government assistance!”

(During her rant, I finish with the previous customer, and it is now her turn. She keeps ranting for another five minutes while I try to get her attention. Finally, another customer gestures to her that it’s her turn. She completely ignores me, while still ranting to the second woman about how her aunt won’t use ATMs or debit cards because they take jobs away from bank tellers, and how she just can’t believe we only have one cashier. The second woman is agreeing with her on all of her points. After she leaves, I ring up the second woman.)

Woman #2: “You should really hire more cashiers.”

Me: “Yes, that’s why we’re having a hiring fair, right inside the entrance.”

Woman #2: “Oh.”

(I work in technical support for a UK ISP. This conversation takes place outside of work between me and a friend who uses the same ISP for home phone and broadband.)

Friend: “[ISP] is rubbish; the speeds are so slow. Can you have a look at it?”

Me: “Yeah. I mean, I can’t do much about it when I’m not at work, but I’ll have a look. Have you rung tech support?”

Friend: “Yeah, they hung up on me.”

Me: “What?”

Friend: “They asked me to unplug my microfilter, and they hung up on me.”

Me: “Wait a minute. They hung up? Were you ringing from your house phone?”

Friend: “Yes.”

Me: “The house phone that uses the same microfilter you unplugged.”

Friend: “Yeah.”

Me: “And then they hung up on you?”

Friend: “Yes.”

Me: “You can’t see where I’m going with this, can you?”

Friend: *pauses* “No.”

Me: “You’re an idiot. Ring them back on your mobile this time, and don’t hang up on yourself this time.”

(The really worrying thing is that he is now an IT Technician in a school.)

(I work for a well-known retailer, delivering groceries to customers at home. Customers book a one-hour slot during which the delivery can take place. Often, if a driver is having a good day, they may be running early, so we may attempt to deliver early. This is my exchange with a customer when I am four minutes early.)

Customer: “Look! It may only be five or ten minutes early, but this is outrageous! I book a delivery slot between eleven and twelve! That does not mean turn up at ten-to. It means turn up at eleven!”

Me: “Well–”

Customer: “No! I will be complaining to customer services about this. It’s harassment and unfair. I’ve had you b*****ds arrive over an hour early. It’s not fair!”

Me: “If–”

Customer: “You can bet that I will be reporting you, too! You have no idea how rude and inconsiderate it is!”

Me: “Let me just speak for a second!” *the customer pauses* “Firstly, I understand an early delivery can be annoying and inconvenient. However, I spoke to your husband on the phone about fifteen minutes ago, since I realised I would be about ten minutes early, and he said it would be acceptable for me to deliver early. Now, I understand that you have, in the past, had deliveries take place over an hour before you expected them to; I can tell that’s quite upsetting and has caused you obvious distress. Rest assured that I will notify my manager as soon as I return that you are unhappy with this happening. I would also like to remind you that you are within your rights to refuse to take the shopping outside of the delivery window. Finally, I again apologise that my early arrival has caused you distress.”

(The customer was so taken aback by my calm and reasonable tone in dealing with them that they lost the will to be aggressive and visibly deflated. The rest of the transaction proceeded smoothly. The time stamp on the customer’s signature, after all that, was 11:03.)

(I work in the creche at a family camp during the summer. We have a strict “no photo” rule as part of our safeguarding policy. The day before the creche opens, parents come to register their children.)

Me: “Hello! Welcome to the creche. Have you filled in the registration form?”

Mother: “Yes. It’s really important that nobody takes any photos of [Child], because he’s adopted.”

Me: “That’s fine; we never take photos in the creche.”

Mother: “I don’t just mean that the photos can’t go online; even for internal stuff, he can’t have his photo displayed.”

Me: “I understand. We won’t take any photos.”

Mother: “Even if he’s in the background, you’ve got to delete the photo. Can you make sure all of the staff know?”

Me: “Yes, nobody will take any photos. We never take photos in the creche; it’s part of our safeguarding policy.”

Mother: “Because it’s really important that we keep [Child] safe.”

Me: “Yes, I understand. Now, does [Child] have any medical issues or allergies we need to be aware of?”

Mother: “He’s adopted.”

Me: “Yes…”

Mother: “So it’s really important that he’s not in any photos.”

Me: “If you go to the next desk, my colleague will give you an ID card so that only people you’ve authorised can pick [Child] up.”

Mother: “It could be really dangerous if any photos of [Child] were published.”