(As I’m cashing out a customer she points out she has a reusable bag purchased from our store.)

Customer: “I want you to bag everything how I tell you, and hand each bag to me so I can put it inside the reusable bag I bought. Okay?”

Me: “Okay, no problem.”

Customer: “I want the milk double-bagged, and don’t forget to hand me it. Don’t turn the bag turner.”

Me: “All right, no problem.”

(She continues to order me through the whole transaction as she puts the plastic bags I hand her inside the reusable bag.)

Me: “Okay, your total will be $67.00.”

Customer: “Did you give me the bring-your-own-bag discount?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t offer one.”

Customer: “Well, I want a discount. I brought my own bag; I’m saving the environment.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I cannot give you a discount that’s not there.”

Customer: “I WANT MY DISCOUNT!”

Manager: *comes up* “What’s wrong?”

Customer: “He won’t give me a discount for bringing my own bag!”

Manager: “We don’t offer one, plus from the looks of it he bagged everything.”

Customer: *throws money at my register* “I AM NOT COMING BACK EVER!”

(I’m working with my coworker on the last couple of cars we have in the shop at our tire and lube service. It is almost closing time but we have enough time to put one more vehicle in the system for a service. Only two bays are open; the cars we are working on are up on the lifts, and each have at least one tire taken off. I see a fairly elderly customer pull up in his truck to the bay doors where “No Parking” is clearly marked in all capital letters with yellow paint on the pavement. I go over to make sure of what he wants and to tell him to pull to our front door to check in.)

Me: “Good evening, sir. What can we help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, I bought these tires from you, but the valve stems aren’t taking air well. Could you replace them?”

Me: “Yes, we can. Just pull around to our front door and check in with our service writer, please.”

Customer: “But it’s just a valve stem!”

Me: “Yes, sir but we are already working on two cars and we still have to put you in the system for a service, even if it’s free. There’s gonna be a bit of a wait.”

Customer: *becomes very irate* “But it’s just a valve stem! Can’t you just pop a new one in?!”

(Again, note we only have two bays open, cars up on the lifts with tires off. He is essentially demanding us to drop what we’re doing for PAYING customers, put a tire back on and bring one of the cars out, then to bring his truck in, take a tire off, break the tire down on one side to replace the valve stem, reseal it back to the rim, and put it back on his truck for FREE.)

Me: “Sir, you would still have to wait; these two are first.” *gestures to the cars already in*

Customer: “Where’s your manager?!”

Me: “He’s already gone home.”

Customer: “Y’all standing around doing nothing!” *gets in his truck and literally burns rubber with his tires squealing and smoking, complete with the lingering burnt rubber smell as he drives off*

Me: *turns to coworker* “We were only ‘standing around doing nothing’ as he put it BECAUSE of him. We were clearly busy before he showed up.” *shares a laugh*

(Later on, a manager from another department came over. Turned out that the customer went to complain about us. Our service writer, who saw and heard the whole exchange, went to make sure the whole story was told to the managers, and not just the customer’s side. From what the manager said, it sounded like he was about to tell only his side of the story but when he saw our service writer go to tell the full story, he left before the manager could talk to him again.)

(I work at a popular coffee shop but at the moment I’m sitting outside on my break. A customer I had served earlier approaches me. For the record, I am white and this customer is not.)

Customer: “Hey, what’s your name?”

Me: *gives name*

Customer: “That’s a black girl’s name!”

Me: *blank stare*

Customer: “I bet your daddy was having an affair with a black woman!”

Me: *speechless, as well as everyone else around me*

(He left shortly after. For the record, my father first heard the name as the name of a black coworker he’d had at the time but I’m fairly certain he wasn’t having an affair with her. I almost never run into people with the same name as me but when I do, they’ve always been white.)

(I work in a retro gaming store. We sell both modern consoles and retro consoles. I am working in the retro department when a middle-aged female customer comes up to the desk. We don’t complete purchases, just advise and assist customers.)

Customer: “I am looking for a Zelda or Mario game for the PlayStation 2.”

Me: “Ma’am, those characters are property of Nintendo; the PlayStation 2 is made by Sony a competitor.”

Customer: “Yes, but I used to play Zelda and Mario as a child. You wouldn’t know anything about old consoles; you are too young.”

(I am a 20-plus-year-old guy who, thanks to a short height and a clean shave, looks like I’m 16. I grew up with the NES and SNES and other consoles due to my mother playing them, and they still work.)

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you I still own almost every console that is for sale here and play them regularly. Now, would you like me to look for games that are Mario or Zelda-like for the PlayStation?”

Customer: *huffs* “Well, if you don’t have them as you ‘acclaim’ I’ll have to look for them myself.”

(She walks to the Xbox Classic section of the store.)

Me: “[Coworker], could… could you explain to her that the PlayStation 2 games are here… I’m gonna take my five now.”

(In our store we have a policy that you can’t return a certain item. This is regulated by law, but most customers do not believe this, for some reason. I have had some very uncomfortable encounters with customers over this, but this one takes the crown.)

Customer: “I would like to return these.” *she puts up the item that I am not allowed to take as a return, and a couple of other items that I can take*

Me: *friendly and apologetic* “These I cannot take; I am not allowed. I do apologize. But you can return these.”

Customer: “Ah, yes, I have heard that you guys are very difficult and that this store has bad customer service, but I decided to give you a chance. But now I know; I am never coming back here!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. The policy is, however, regulated by law, and I cannot accept a return on these. There is nothing I can do about it.”

(The customer goes on a rant on how stupid this is, how she is never coming back, and how bad the customer service is. I am quite used to these rants, because of the law, so I shut down and am now just nodding and smiling. The customer races around the store to find something to exchange her returnable items for, because she does not want store credit. Meanwhile, I’m doing some tidying, and putting items back on the shelves, while humming a tune to myself. The store is very small and the customer hears my humming.)

Customer: *wild-eyed* “How can you HUM when I am upset?!”

Me: *shocked* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Even YOU should understand that you can’t hum when a customer is in the store and upset! YOU UNDERSTAND THAT, DON’T YOU?!”

Me: “I’m so sorry; I always hum. I really did not mean to offend you in any way!”

Customer: “I’m going to write a complaint to the store, telling your boss that you treated me VERY badly! This is not the last you are hearing of this! It is so incredibly rude TO HUM WHILE A CUSTOMER IS UPSET!”

Me: “Please calm down. There is nothing I can do. I am not allowed to return the item, by law. I did not mean to offend you by humming. I always hum.”

Customer: “Give me store credit; I can’t find anything here to buy.” *she studies the note with the store credit to get my name* “Oh, so it’s [My Name]? You will hear about this!”

Me: *a little frustrated that she is going to complain about me personally to my boss over something that I could not do anything about by law* “I’m so sorry. I don’t understand why you are so upset by me humming.”

Customer: *as she storms out* “NO, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!”

(Well… I have not heard anything about any complaint, nor have I stopped humming.)