A Hole In His Logic, Among Other Things

| Columbus, OH, USA | Right | April 15, 2010

Customer: “The Swiss cheese I bought last week didn’t have any holes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Sometimes when we get to the end of a block of cheese, there aren’t many holes in it.”

Customer: “Well, can I get my money back?”

Me: “Did you bring the cheese back?”

Customer: “No. I ate it.”

Me: “Did it taste okay?”

Customer: “Yes, it tasted fine.”

Me: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “BUT IT DIDN’T HAVE ANY HOLES!”

Me: “Let me get my manager…”

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How About A Sample Of Maturity

| Paintsville, KY, USA | Right | April 15, 2010

Me: “Hello! What would you like today?”

Customer: “My son would like to try a root beer shaved ice!”

(I make a root beer in a sample cup, but the customer takes the cup instead and tries it herself.)

Customer: “EWWW! This is GROSS!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “This tastes like CLOVES! Ewwww! I don’t like CLOVES! This is GROSS!”

Me: “Would you like to try another flavor?”

Customer: “My son would like to try s’mores.”

(I make a s’mores flavor in a sample cup, and just like last time, the customer tries it instead of her son trying it.)

Customer: “EWWW! This is GROSS! I don’t like this!!”

(A few minutes later…)

Customer: “He’ll take a medium lemon-lime wedding cake flavored shaved ice. Oh, can we get a straw too?”

Me: “Sure thing!”

(I hand the customer a plastic bendy straw, who sticks it in her son’s shaved ice and takes a sip.)

Customer: “EWWW! This is gross!! This straw tastes funny!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. How does it taste funny?”

Customer: “It… it tastes like PLASTIC!! Ewww!”

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Too Cool For School (Of Thought)

| Illinois, USA | Right | April 14, 2010

Me: “Hey, how we doing today?”

Customer: “I have a question.”

Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “If  I buy a phone from you guys, do I still have to pay for the service?”

Me: “Yes, we deal with the contracts for the providers.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought you guys were cooler than that…”

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Beyond Even The Power Of Pixel Dust

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Right | April 14, 2010

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a copy of this photo, but I need one the people cropped out. “

(The customer hands me a photo of three men, arms around each other’s shoulders in front of a brick wall.)

Me: “Which one needs to be cropped out?”

Customer: “The guy in the middle.”

Me: “Well, we really can’t do that. That is more for a photo-refinishing artist.”

Customer: “Can’t you just erase the guy in the middle?”

Me: “We could, but then there would be a blank space were he once was. It would be pretty obvious.”

Customer: “Oh, you won’t just see the wall behind him if he is removed?”

Me: “No, the camera doesn’t take a picture of what is behind the person, just what you see.”

Customer: “What if it was a digital camera?”

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Couldn’t Handle The Screening Process

| Delaware, OH, USA | Right | April 14, 2010

(I am hosting a class for senior citizens to help them learn computing.)

Me: “Could I have everyone move their mouse to the top of their screens?”

(An elderly gentleman in the back row takes his physical mouse, places it on the screen, and pushes it to the top.)

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