All The World’s A Book

| | Right | February 12, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me, I’m wondering if you can help me?”

Me: “Sure, how can I help?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Right, what book is that?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a dictionary.”

(I take the customer to the dictionary section, but she shakes her head.)

Customer: “No, it’s not a dictionary, it’s just a book.”

Me: “Well, I’m afraid I need to know a bit more than that to find it for you.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not a book, it’s a box.”

Me: “A box?”

Customer: “Not really, it’s kind of a box and you put things in it. Like a box.”

Me: “So it’s not a book?”

Customer: “Yes, it is also a book.”

(Turns out she was looking for a safe.)

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The Only Thing Toasted Is His Mind

, | | Right | February 12, 2009

Customer: “I don’t want my sandwich toasted.”

Me: “No problem, sir. We actually don’t have a toaster here, so you don’t have to worry.”

Customer: “OH YES YOU DO! The last sandwich I got was toasted!”

Me: “Um. Are you sure it was from this store?”

Customer: “Yes. It was from this exact store, and it was toasted so bad I almost couldn’t eat it.”

Me: “I’m not sure how that’s possible, sir. We honestly don’t have a toaster, and we never have.”

Customer: “Oh, so now I don’t know what toasted bread looks like?”

Me: “I–”

Customer: “The top of my bread was brown. And do you know what makes bread brown?”

Me: “The crust?”

Customer: “A TOASTER!”

(Seriously, no toaster. Ever. At all.)

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Customer Of The Week

| | Right | February 12, 2009

Customer Of The Week
Created by our friends at Quitting Time

Original Story

Mixed Me-ow-ssages

| | Right | February 12, 2009

Customer: “I bought this a few days ago to stop my cats from scratching the furniture, and now they’re scratching it more than ever!”

(I take a moment to look at the bottle, and see that it is clearly labeled “Catnip Spray”.)

Me: “Well, they’re going to scratch more because this is catnip spray.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “You spray this where you want cats to scratch… didn’t you read the bottle before you bought it?”

Customer: “I don’t have time to read; I just grabbed the first thing on the shelf.”

Me: “Um… you just grabbed the first thing on the shelf?”

Customer: “Yes, now get me the right stuff so they’ll stop scratching!”

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The Magical World of Duhs-ney

| | Right | February 12, 2009

Me: *on the phone* “Help Desk, can I help you?

Customer: “I can’t log in to my computer.”

Me: “No problem, sir – let me reset it for you.”

Customer: “Thanks!”

Me: “Ok, sir – go ahead and type ‘welcome’ as your default password. When you hit ‘OK’ you will be asked to create a new password.”

Customer: “Are their any requirements for the password?”

Me: “The only requirement is that the password has to be at least 6 characters in length – numbers, letters or both.”

(Two minutes pass and I still hear a lot of typing over the phone. I’d assumed he’d logged in and starting working, forgetting I was on the phone.)

Me: “Is everything all right? Were you able to get your password reset?”

Customer: “No! Its not all right! Why is it that every time I call you guys there’s a problem?! You have to make everything so difficult!”

Me: “I am sorry for that sir…what happens after you try to create your new password?”

Customer: “What do you think?! It tells me to try again! It will not take!”

Me: “Well, go ahead and try entering something different.”

Customer: “You know, you people are ridiculous! How many characters do you think I can remember?! I’m not five years old any more! All I remember is Pluto, Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck!”

Me: *facepalm*

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