Y, Will, Y Will, Rock U!

, , | | Right | December 14, 2007

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I wanna know if you have any Y’s in stock?” *pronouncing it ‘Why’*

Me: “Y’s? I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: “The Y’s! You know, the Y’s!”

Me: “You mean the Wii?”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever.”

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The IQ Is Weak In This One

, , | | Right | December 14, 2007

Me: “Congratulations! Because you’ve spent over $30 on our beauty products you can receive a complimentary tote bag. Would you like it in black or brown?”

Customer: “What’s a tote bag?”

Me: *holds up bag* “It’s a bag. Rather large… You can put things in it. It comes in black or brown.”

Customer: “Oh, well, that’s nifty, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, it is, ma’am. Would you like it in black or brown?”

Customer: “How much does that cost?”

Me: “Normally, $14.99, but yours is complimentary because you spent over $30 on beauty products.”

Customer: “Oh, I wouldn’t pay $15 for that!”

Me: “You don’t have to pay for it.”

Customer: “Why not?”

(Other customers are beginning to become aggravated by this woman’s stupidity so I call up another cashier.)

Me: “…because it’s complimentary.”

Customer: “Oh, why’d you call up [Coworker]?”

Me: “Because the other customers are waiting.”

Customer: “Waiting for what?”

Me: “Waiting to pay for their items. Now, would you like your free bag or not?”

Customer: “I don’t like your tone, young lady!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m just a little late for my break. Now, would you like your FREE tote bag?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s free?”

(This exchange went on for about ten more minutes, as the woman had to go through about five different cards until she found one she could use… making me fifteen minutes late for my fifteen minute break. Rest assured, she eventually learned the meaning of complimentary.)

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As Opposed To The Ones That You Can, Like, Smoke?

, , , | | Right | December 14, 2007

(At a library, completely surrounded by books…)

Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

College Student: “Where are the books that you can, like, read?”

Me: “…”

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DNA Is Such A Bother Anyway

, , , | | Right | December 13, 2007

Me: “Is she your biological child?”

Customer: “No, no, she’s natural. No scientific stuff.”

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Because Everything On The Internets Is Private

, , , | | Right | December 13, 2007

(On Black Friday… when EVERYTHING is on sale.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Hey, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to know what’s on sale today.”

Me: “Well, it depends on what system. You see, the DS only has three games on sale, while the XBOX has about 10. Not to mention, almost every console is running some sort of deal.”

Customer: “No, I meant the secret sales.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “The stuff in the catalog.”

Me: “Oh, that’s all posted.”

Customer: *suddenly angry* “It better not be!”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer: “Because I looked online for those sales.”

Me: “What’s your point?”

Customer: “Because I wouldn’t have done that if I’d known it was public!”

Me: “The point of a sale is to make it public.”

Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER, YOU A**HOLE!”

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