(The store is doing remodeling from a basic grocery store to a more all-in-one store, and as a result, they have additional workers, aisles or even whole categories moved to a different location, roped-off and plastic-covered areas, and other frustrations. I have just gotten off work and my mom tells me she needs me to pick up a few things she forgot when she went shopping. Due to the store having changed everything, she is on the phone with me, walking me through to where she remembered items being a few days ago.)

Mom: “The next aisle should have [items].”

(I leave the current aisle, about to make a u-turn into the next aisle, when I see that they have blocked off the area with some plastic from the roof to the floor and that what sign was there has been ripped off. I don’t tell her this until I see that the next available aisle has items that in no way match the items she told me.)

Me: “Crap, they moved it.”

Mom: “Well, f***. Try to see if you can find them or somebody wearing the construction orange shirts that might be able to help you. Until then…”

(She keeps guiding me and, for the most part, the items are either in the area, or she’s close enough that I find them within an aisle of where she remembers them being. However, I have yet to find the items from the moved aisle until I finally approach one of the employees.)

Me: “Do you know where [items] are?”

Employee: “Yes, they are—“

(Sadly, I forget I had the phone to my ear and the employee is drowned out by my mom.)

Mom: “Why are you asking me? You just told me they were moved!”

(Realizing I’m dealing with both the phone and an employee at the same time, I release a sheepish chuckle. I’m performing my own pet peeve, so decide to hang up.)

Me: “Hang on. I found one of the guides; I’ll call you back.”

(As I’m hanging up, the guy looks somewhat shocked, and visibly braces for something.)

Me: “Yeah, can you show me where you moved [items], please? My mom, who I was talking to, was leading me around, but you must have moved them in the last few days.”

Employee: “Oh, yes! They are [directions]. Would you like for me to show you?”

Me: “That’s fine, but I’m sure they’d prefer you to stay in your area so that others can find you. But is something wrong?”

Employee: “No, I’m just shocked you got off the phone and actually asked, as opposed to yelling at me.”

(As I hear him say that last part, I cringe before shaking my head.)

Me: “Yeah, I can only picture it, as I passed by another guide that was getting the tenth-degree including every combo curse in the book.”

Employee: “If only it was that, but there’s been more than a few threats to stop the remodel or boycott the store.”

Me: “I worked at [Other Grocery Store] when they were doing their remodeling, so…”

(The employee gives me the “YES! SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS!” look before taking me to the item despite my protests.)

Employee: “Here you go — [items]. But can I see that [most expensive item in my cart] first?”

Me: “Umm, sure?”

(The employee placed a clearance sticker on the top of the item reading “25% off, valued customer” before handing it back and thanking me before leaving me completely shocked.)

(Our hotel, like many these days, has a campaign going to try and encourage guests to be more “green” by forgoing cleaning services. For every night they do this, if they are a rewards member, they are rewarded with points on their rewards profile. Guests indicate their wish to participate by placing a specialized door hanger out at night to be collected by housekeeping. The hangers do also have a checklist on the back of small items that the guest might need and can request without voiding their points claim for the night — things like towels, coffee, etc. There is also a notes section to let us know about maintenance problems or other requests. This is by far my favorite comment left on one of these hangers.)

Note: “Please clean the entire room! Thank you!”

(I don’t think those particular guests took the point of the initiative to heart.)

(The restaurant I work in has a Tuesday night dinner special for a three-course dinner for two at a very reduced rate, eat-in only. On Thursday, a lady calls:)

Caller: “Do you do take-out?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Can I get the Thursday night special?”

Me: “There is a Tuesday night special, but it is eat-in only.”

Caller: “So, I can’t get the Tuesday night special tonight for take-out, then?”

Me: “No, ma’am, you can’t get the eat-in only Tuesday night special for take-out on Thursday.”

Caller: “Fine, I guess I won’t be ordering anything.” *click*

(I didn’t feel the least bit bad.)

(I work in an art store that also sells office supplies. Almost everything has many varieties, so it’s easier just to refer to brands or purposes when customers are vague. Some people don’t know enough to even be vague. I’m working the register when this exchange happens.)

Customer: *walks up to the counter with two packs of pencil-top erasers*

Me: “Hi there. How are you tonight?”

Customer: “Fine. I need some help finding an eraser.”

Me: “All right, what kind do you need? We have—“

Customer: *gesturing at the pencil-top erasers* “I was looking for a big eraser, like these, but only one of them.”

Me: “You mean for a pencil-top eraser?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need an eraser, but bigger and just one of them.”

Me: *noticing she hasn’t specifically told me what kind of eraser she needs, I take a guess* “I don’t think we have pencil-top erasers in singles, but I can call someone up to double—“

Customer: *becoming irritated* “No, not a pencil-topper. I’m looking for a big rectangle eraser. You know, a rectangle?” *traces a rectangle in front of my face with her fingers*

Me: *taken slightly aback* “Oh, my apologies, we have some white and pink pearl erasers behind you; would those do?”

Customer: “Ugh, no, I’m looking for a big rectangle, just…” *big huff* “Forget it.”

(She turns away and walks right into my coworker, and starts off a similar conversation.)

Customer: “I don’t think he knows what erasers are.”

(After hitting most of the notes our own conversation had, she’s led by my coworker to the aisle right in front of the register.)

Coworker: “You mean these pink and white pearl erasers right here?”

Customer: “That’s exactly it!”

(They return to the counter.)

Customer: “See, this one right here. This is what I was talking about.” *brandishing the eraser in her hand*

Me: “Yes, that’s the white pearl I referred to.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t have any idea what that is. I don’t work here.”

(I do, but I guess six months isn’t enough to know what erasers are.)

(We have two options for coffee: freshly brewed and filtered. The first one contains coffee beans which are freshly ground for each cup; the second machine contains already ground coffee powder.)

Me: “Would you like your coffee freshly brewed or filtered today?”

Customer: “Whatever you have.”

Me: “Well… I have both. That’s why I’m asking.”