Paging Homeland Security To The Wine Cellar

| | Right | November 4, 2007

Me: “May I get something for you ladies to drink?”

Lady 1: “Um, yes. (to Lady 2) What are you having, dear?”

Lady 2: “I’ll have the white zinfandel.”

Lady 1: “Oh yes, I’ll have the infidel, too. Last night I had the marlo!”

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When They Ask Why, It’s Time To Run

, | | Right | November 4, 2007

Me: “Would you like regular ice or ice made from coffee?”

Customer: “What is ice made from coffee?”

Me: “It’s … ice … made from … coffee.”

Customer: *stare*

Me: “Frozen coffee?”

Customer: “Um… Why?”

Me: “Regular ice then. I’ll have that out in just a moment.”

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Thank God They Didn’t Watch Total Recall

| | Right | November 3, 2007

Customer: “Do you have that book from that movie Les Miserababah?”

Me:Les Miserables? Yes it would be on the 3rd floor.”

Customer: “What section would it be in?”

Me: “The fiction section.”

Customer: “So nonfiction is true, and fiction is not true, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How can this book be fiction if there is a movie about it?”

Me: “Movies are not true.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yes. Movies are not true, movies are fiction.”

Source

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Surprisingly, This One Knows How To Read

| | Right | November 3, 2007

Library Patron: “Do you guys have books?”

Me: (I turn and give a side glance to the shelves of books on my right) “Nope. It’s all online.”

Source

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Gone, As In Mentally

| | Right | November 3, 2007

Lady: “Yeah I just got back so I missed the big rain storm.”

Me: “Well it wasn’t too bad, where did you go? Out of town?”

Lady: “What?”

Me: “You got back from somewhere, where did you go?”

Lady: “I haven’t been anywhere.”

Me: “So you were here for the rainstorm?”

Lady: “No, I was gone.”

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