Having More Than One Name Is Confusing

, , , | Right | September 29, 2020

A woman comes in to visit her mother. She’s been here several times before, each time signing in with no trouble. She’s in her forties and doesn’t have any visible disabilities.

Visitor: “Where’s my badge?”

I tilt the sign-in tablet so I can see it.

Me: “Oh, you just need your mother’s last name here.”

Visitor: “It is there! See?”

She points to it as if I don’t know where to look.

Me: “Yes, but you need just her last name, not her first.”

I fix it for her and hand her badge to her. She just stares at me a second.

Visitor: “Oh… that’s so confusing.”

She wandered off, leaving me thinking, “Why wasn’t it confusing the last dozen or so times you did it?” She must have been having a really off day.

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Customer Limits Put Customers At Their Limit

, , , | Right | September 28, 2020

Because of the current health crisis, stores have a customer limit so it doesn’t get too crowded. My store is very small so we’ve had a limit of two customers at once. Not gonna lie; I love it because at five people it’s so full that customers have trouble walking around.

We have two signs on the floor and three more around the store entrance. Of course, barely anyone reads the signs, but the register is right at the entrance so people usually back off and wait when I tell them. This customer does not.

He rushes into the store. I tell him there’s a two-person limit and we’ve already reached it, so he should please wait outside. He doesn’t react, so I repeat myself louder. 

He’s walking along the counter so there are maybe six feet of distance between us, so he should hear me. He keeps walking. I start shouting, “Sir!” to get his attention while I walk off from behind the counter.

I think maybe he’s hard of hearing or deaf.

I finally get in front of him, way too close, but my back is against a wall and there’s nothing I can do. He scowls at me and barks out a “What?” so I tell him about the limit. 

He scoffs, gives me the finger, and prances out of the store. He comes back about an hour later and starts making rude comments about how stupid I am and how I could have just let him get his one item. He doesn’t seem to be hard of hearing after all. 

My boss has now bought a desk bell that we aggressively ring — it echoes wonderfully in the small store — whenever someone with selective hearing decides to come in and ignore us, be it about masks or the limit. 

It hurts my ears to use it, but with the number of people that stop taking the situation seriously because it’s been so long, it’s amazing to use!

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The Continuing Adventures Of Sir Reginald Von Rufflebuttum

, , , , , | Right | September 28, 2020

A coworker of mine is cleaning the reptile habitats in the store. He notices one of the chameleons is starting to get a little big for its habitat, but there’s not much we can do to make it more comfortable as it grows.

Instead, he decides to give it a chance to stretch its legs a little, taking it out of the terrarium and letting it climb around his shirt as he goes about his duties.

I’m on the register and don’t usually get to interact with the animals, so I ask if I can hold it for a while. He brings it over and I let it climb onto my hand.

As I’m letting it crawl along my arms and hands, a woman comes up to check out. I manage to get a hand free to ring her items up, and the chameleon starts climbing across my chest.

I make a comment to my coworker about how the chameleon’s enjoying being able to explore a little, and the woman laughs.

Customer: “He’s thinking, ‘Look at these mountains’!”

We all started laughing. I tried to keep from shaking too much, as the chameleon was, indeed, on my breasts.

The chameleon continued to crawl all over me, and at one point, I needed to transfer it from one hand to the other again, but this time it decides it was perfectly comfortable half on one hand, half on the other.

It had a pretty good grip on both hands, and I didn’t want to risk pulling away too hard, lest I injure it, so I wound up sitting for a minute with no hands, and we all started laughing again.

Eventually, it decided which hand it wanted to be on, and I passed it back to my coworker so I could finish ringing the woman up. Definitely one of the most memorable encounters I’ve had at this job.

The Epic Saga Of Sir Reginald Von Rufflebuttum

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All Stores Should Have This Zero-Tolerance Policy, We Swear

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2020

I am working in a hardware store with two coworkers. [Coworker #1] is in his mid-twenties and absolutely never uses bad language. In fact, he physically cringes when other people swear around him. [Coworker #2] is a similar-aged woman who really knows her stuff. A customer is at her register with a return and is complaining loudly.

Customer: “This is your fault! You shouldn’t be able to sell this s***.” 

Coworker #2: “I’m sorry the item wasn’t what you expected, sir. Since you have your receipt, you’ll get a full refund.” 

Customer: “I know I will, b****. But it’s your fault I bought it in the first place. You’re the one who told me the f****** thing would work! You should be the one to pay for it.”

The abuse continues and gets worse for a few minutes, and [Coworker #2] is clearly uncomfortable. In walks a police officer.

Coworker #1: “Right over here, officer. That’s the man who is being threatening. And I have his profanity-riddled rant against my coworker on video.” *Holds up his cell phone*

[Coworker #1] called the police as soon as the angry customer started swearing and then recorded the rest. The customer looked scared out of his mind as the police and [Coworker #2] discussed potential harassment charges. She decided to just let the guy go. But he was like a frightened toddler as he left, and [Coworker #1] shot him daggers with his eyes the whole time.

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They Lost The Stair-ing Match, Part 2

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2020

I used to work for a moving company. One of our regular jobs was moving office furniture between buildings at one of the local university campuses, which happened every summer.

For this particular move, we were moving several offices located on the second floor of the campus’s oldest building, which had only one elevator. Among the things we were moving were filled fireproof file cabinets, which were heavy enough that more than one would trip the elevator’s overload safety, although we could fit other things on there to avoid wasting too much time. 

Still, the elevator was a bottleneck, to the point where we had the entire hallway lined with furniture on wheels while we loaded the elevator up, sent it downstairs by itself, had a crew unload it and send it back up while they loaded the truck, and repeated the process.

This very hot and strenuous work was interrupted as a student — presumably in summer classes — walked up, saw that the elevator was not useable, and proceeded to shout, “You lazy motherf*****s need to learn how to use the g**d**n stairs,” before storming off, leaving us bewildered and furious.

They Lost The Stair-ing Match

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