(I am a 22-year-old female working in a movie rental shop in 2007. We have a large adult movie section with a separate entrance. The counter has a service bell.)

Service Bell: *ring*

Me: “Hi, what can we do for you today?”

Greasy Old Man #1: “I am looking for porn, with young, submissive women who look as if they are put under pressure to act in the movies.”

Me: “Um…”

Greasy Old Man #1: “What can you recommend?”

Me: “I don’t know; I haven’t watched the movies. Go look for yourself.”

Greasy Old Man #1: *wanders off in the section to browse*

(Later, the service bell rings again.)

Me: “Hi, what can we do for you today?”

Greasy Old Man #2: *slightly embarrassed* “Yeah, umm, I am looking for adult movies. Can you show me where they are?”

Me: “Sure thing. Just right around the corner.”

Greasy Old Man #2: “Okay, thanks.”

(The customer comes back after a few minutes and we go through the whole renting process, scanning his card, scanning the movie, etc.)

Greasy Old Man #2: “So, where are your video cabins?”

Me: *dumbfounded*

Greasy Old Man #2: “I want to watch it now. Oh, wait; you are not a porn cinema?”

Me: “No.”

(I gave him directions to a specific area in the city, where he would find everything he wanted.)

Related:
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 15
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 14
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 13

(I come into work to find this email from a customer:)

Email: “I left my iPad in a blue case at your store. I WANT IT BACK. I brought it in to see if you could help with it and forgot it on the counter. Why wouldn’t you have called to tell me I left it there? Or texted me. Now I have to wait in agony until 7:30 so I can call you. Call me earlier if you can. It better still be there!”

(I work stocking at a grocery store.)

Customer: “Where are those new Oreos?”

Me: “The Winter Oreos or the White Fudge?”

Customer: “Not those…The round ones with cream filling.”

Me: “Sir, all of our Oreos are round with cream filling.”

Customer: “Not those… The oblong kind with cream in the middle.”

Me: “We don’t have those, sir.”

Customer: “But I saw them on TV!”

Me: “Sorry, sir. We don’t have those yet.”

Customer: “But they were on TV!”

Me: *sigh* “Well, sir. We don’t have them in our warehouse yet.”

Customer: “But I saw them on TV!”

(I’m working the lottery counter at customer service. A customer comes up with a Powerball slip and when my lotto rejects it, I realize it’s an old slip.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is an old Powerball slip. They changed the game, so you’ll need to fill out a new one.”

Customer: “New slip?”

Me: “Yeah, they didn’t say anything about changing the game, but the numbers are different. There are more up top and less down bottom.”

Customer: *stares at me with a slightly irritated expression*

Me: “We have new slips right over on the counter, so all you need to do is fill out a new one.”

(The customer steps back, stomps to the side, and tears his old Powerball slip it half, tossing it onto the floor and walking away.)

Me: “Or you could do that.”

Customer: “I have an extended warranty for my shredder here.”

Me: “Okay.” *I look at receipt* “Um, this is from 2006.”

Customer: “No, it’s from 2009.”

Me: “Nope, this is from 2006. See the date here, how it says, ‘09/01/06’? That means it was purchased on September 1, 2006.”

Customer: “No, the ‘09’ is the year. The year is listed first.”

Me: “No, the year is last.” *I grab a recently-printed receipt to show her* “See?”

Customer: “Then it must have changed.”

Me: “It didn’t change. But, either way, even if this was from 2009, it’s still too long ago; the extended warranty is only good for an extra year.”

Customer: “No! This shredder is warrantied for five years, so this gives me six years total! So, even if it was purchased in 2006, you can still use it! It’s good for six years!”

Me: “2006 was nine years ago. It’s 2015.”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter! It’s from 2009!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but it’s not. It’s from 2006. I haven’t even actually seen these warranty pamphlets, and I’ve been working here for seven years.”

Customer: “Well, that’s weird, because it’s from 2009!”

Me: “I don’t know what else to tell you… because it’s from 2006.”

Customer: “I don’t know what else to tell you, either, because it’s from 2009! The year is listed first!”

Nearby Associate: “No, the year is always last. I’ve actually never seen the year listed first. Anywhere.”