Taking You Out Of The Picture

, , | Right | October 18, 2017

(Our policy is to ID under 40 for all purchases, so I check nearly every customer’s ID.)

Me: “Could I see a piece of photo ID, please?”

Customer: “Uh, I guess so.”

(She shows me her ID through the pocket in her wallet, but the photo is obscured.)

Me: “I’m sorry; could you please take your ID out of your wallet? I can’t see your face.”

Customer: “I really don’t understand why you need to see the photo. You can see the date.”

Me: “Well, the photo helps me verify that the ID belongs to you.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand, but whatever.”

(We finish the transaction and she leaves.)

Coworker: “Did she really just ask why you needed to see the photo on her photo ID?

Scoring An Eight On The Does-Not-Listen Scale

, , , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(At our shoe store, we have five aisles. Each aisle has signs that tell the sizes. A customer walks in the store and looks at a display shoe, and then comes up to me asking me if we have it in size eight.)

Me: “Here’s everything we have in size eight. Go ahead and look around and let me know if you have any questions.”

Customer: “Do you have that shoe in size eight?”

Me: “We don’t have it in size eight, but we have some other shoes that looks similar to it right here on this wall.”

(Five minutes later, she gets shoes from size seven-and-a-half.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I have a question.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, go ahead.”

Customer: “Do you have this one in size eight?”

Me: “Ma’am, everything we have in size eight is on the size eight’s wall. We don’t have anything in the back room!”

Customer: “So, you don’t have it in size eight?”

Me: “We don’t.”

Customer: “Can you double-check if you have it in the back?”

Me: “…”

Statement Of Recount

, , , , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(A customer calls me on the phone in a panic.)

Customer: “Why am I still getting a bill for this line of credit? I thought you closed it! It’s ten pages long! I haven’t used it. “

Me: “I did close it, but I know you had some fraud, so let me call card services to see what’s going on.”

(I call card services.)

Me: “My customer is still showing a balance on her line. We paid it. What’s going on?”

Card Services: “We show no activity, but that card did receive a large payoff a month ago.”

Me: “Well, my customer is still getting a bill with a large balance…”

(I continue to argue with card services for 20 minutes before hanging up in frustration. I call my customer back and say they show no money owed so that statement must just not be printing correctly.)

Me: “Can you read exactly what it says at the top?”

Customer: “’Statement of Accounts’.”

Me: “That is your monthly statement.”

Customer: “Yeah, but it says I owe all this money!”

Me: “That’s your monthly account transactions and balance, not a bill! You don’t owe anything.”

Customer: “Well, why is it so long?!”

Me: “I don’t know, but it’s the same as you get every month; it’s nothing new.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks for checking for me!”

(I just spent thirty minutes arguing with people to find out my customer thought her monthly statement was a bill. I ask more questions now.)

Bussing Bus Tables

, , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(I’m working at a popular sandwich shop in a college town. I’m closing with two other employees the night of my college’s big winter formal dance. We close at 10:00 pm and we’re all hoping to get out early in order to make the dance. Unfortunately, it’s been a busy night, so come 9:50 pm, we’re only just starting closing procedures. I’m putting chairs on the tables in the dining room when a customer comes through the door looking frantic.)

Customer: “Are you all still open? Can we still order?”

Manager: “Sure, we’ve still got the food out and we’re open for another ten.”

Customer: “Great, thank you so much!”

(He ran out of the restaurant… which is when I noticed the bus. He came back in with about 30 people in tow: a junior varsity and a varsity volleyball team and all of their chaperones. They not only ordered 30-plus sandwiches and beverages, they also went to the dining room and pulled down the chairs I put up, since they planned on eating in. The manager said nothing since we all knew our boss would throw a fit if we did anything to lose the customers. It took 30 minutes for everyone to get their food. I began cleaning up around the crowd, hoping this would signal that we were closed and they needed to hurry up and leave. It didn’t. We didn’t get them out until 11:00 pm, which was when we could finally start closing the front of house. Nobody thanked us as they left, and our tip jar, which we’d divided earlier before the group walked in, was still completely empty. The only good thing to come out of the night was our manager pouring us all a few pints of beer to try to make closing more tolerable — and my friends all waiting for me before heading to the dance.)

Will Be Cashing Yourself Out

, , , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(I am having trouble finding an item in the hardware store. I don’t see an employee around, so I go up front to ask the cashiers of they can help me find one of their coworkers. Both cashiers are female.)

Me: *what I’m thinking* “I know that cashiers aren’t usually allowed to leave the front, but can you find someone to help me in hardware?”

Me: *what I actually say* “I know you’re just cashiers, but can you find someone to help me in hardware?”

(I am so sorry! I’m sure that you are very capable! Thank you for helping me anyway!)

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