No One Speaks English Anymore…

, , , , , | Right | December 12, 2018

Me: “[My Department], this is [My Name]; may I help you?”

Caller: “I’m glad you speak American.”

Me: *to myself* “I take it you were an American major in college?”

Dressing Up The Vulgarity

, , , | Right | December 12, 2018

(I work in a quite expensive clothing store. Today we an American couple comes in. The lady chooses a bunch of expensive dresses she would like to try on. Most of them are not the best choice for her figure. She chooses dresses that look good only on someone who is model-like flat. The lady is very unhappy about how the dresses look on her, but refuses any options we present to her, which would look really gorgeous on her. Because the dresses she tries on and refuses are starting to pile up, I ask my coworker to take them away and put them on the racks again. The whole time, she is really rude, calling us names and accusing us of giving her wrong sizes. The man with her calls us nothing but “third worlders.”)

Woman: “Where are you taking them?”

Me: “Just back to the boutique. I thought you didn’t like any of them. I am sorry if I was mistaken. Do you want to keep any of them?”

Woman: “No, I don’t like any of those skinny-a** b****y-as-you dresses!”

Me: “All right, is it then okay to take them back?”

Woman: “NO! I tried them on, you stupid b****; you cannot put them back!”

Me: “I am sorry?”

(I am taken aback, as I did not expect this and I am not used to people swearing on me.)

Woman: “Can’t you speak English? That’s the only good language! Don’t speak that bulls*** of yours!”

(We have not been speaking in Czech because customers are sometimes unhappy about us speaking anything they cannot understand.)

Me: “I apologise, madam, but since you do not plan on buying any of those, what would you like me to do with them? There might be some other customer that would like them and—”

Woman: *interrupts me* “C***, I tried them, b****. No one else can try them now, b****! They can’t wear them; I did!” *spews a bunch of vulgar words*

Me: “I am deeply sorry, madam, but if you are not going to buy them, anyone else can. We cannot just dispose of these dresses just because someone tried them on and did not like them.”

Woman: “I am not buying anything here! You are just a useless little c***!”

Man: “These f****** third-worlders are for nothing! We are leaving your s***-covered store!”

(They left. Up to this day, I have never had a customer like this. They can be snotty and think they are better than us. But no one has ever been so vulgar to me.)

If You’re Going To Sexually Harass Someone, Get The Right Someone

, , , | Right | December 12, 2018

(At my previous location, one of my coworkers and I looked enough alike in the face that customers used to mix us up. I am several inches taller than she is, but both of us sat at desks, so you couldn’t tell when we were seated. Fast forward three years. I now work at another branch. A customer that looks vaguely familiar walks in.)

Customer: “Hey! Didn’t you used to work at that other branch, on [Street]?”

Me: “I did! Now, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “You’ve gained weight, haven’t you?”

Me: *thinking I’ve misheard* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You have! You’ve gained a few pounds!”

Me: “Um… No. I’ve always looked like this.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I’m pretty sure you haven’t. But, you know, it’s not a bad thing. You gained it in all the right places if you know what I mean!” *grins*

(I instinctively scoot my chair away from him.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: *squints at me* “Hang on. You’re [Former Coworker], right?”

Me: “No. I’m [My Name]. I used to sit at the desk next to her.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought you were [Former Coworker]. I… definitely have the wrong person, and I think I’d better go.”

(He got up and quickly exited the building.)

Does Not Get Your Teal Of Approval

, , | Right | December 12, 2018

(I work in a store that sells home furnishings, and we have several different kinds of stools. Late one evening, a woman walks in, and I greet her as I’m straightening a display at the front.)

Customer: “You’re holding a stool for me.”

(While we do have a designated area for hold items, if the item is larger, we’ll leave it on the floor due to limited space in the stockroom, and to prevent employees from having to carry big or heavy pieces back and forth in case the customer doesn’t show after the hold expires.)

Me: “Sure! What’s the name?”

Customer: “It’s either under [Customer] or [Other Name].”

Me: “All right, let me check for you.”

(Sometimes if we have an item of furniture in the stockroom in a box, we can hold the box for them. I go back to check the stockroom in the event that this is the case, but I see nothing, so I walk around the floor checking the stool displays for a hold tag. I still find nothing, so I return to the customer.)

Me: “Ma’am, I seem to be having trouble finding it; could you describe it to me?”

Customer: “It’s teal.”

Me: “Let me look again.”

(I check the few stools we have matching her description. Still nothing. The customer tells me she called us ten minutes before close the night before to have us hold the stool for her, so I wonder if perhaps the closers didn’t have the time or forgot to make the hold tag.)

Customer: “Have you found it yet?”

Me: “No, it seems like there was a bit of a mix-up. Could you tell me anything else about it? How tall is it? Is it made of wood or metal?”

Customer: “I don’t remember. It’s teal!”

(I check one more time, but there’s no teal stool on hold. The customer is getting annoyed and complaining about how we need a holding area.)

Me: “Was it tall or short? We have this bar stool up here, or these counter stools?”

Customer: “No, it was shorter than that. It was a small stool for a vanity or something.”

(Thinking perhaps she was looking for one of our ottomans to use as a footstool, I go to look, but find nothing. Eventually, I notice a small silver and white footstool with a hold tag in the customer’s name.)

Me: “Ma’am, is this it?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it!”

(She purchases the stool and walks out, satisfied. My manager, who was helping another customer, watches her leave.)

Manager: “So… that wasn’t even remotely teal.”

Me: “I have no idea anymore.”

How to Handle A Dog-Hairy Situation

, , , , , , | Right | December 11, 2018

(I am a regular at a local sewing store where I’m also taking classes. One day I drop by to get fabric and decided to bring my dog, since my mum and I have to go there by car, anyway, and my dog is still kind of anxious about driving after a recent bad experience. When I bring her into the shop, this happens.)

Owner: “Oh, I’m sorry; you can’t bring your dog in here. My husband is really allergic to them.”

Me: “Sorry, I didn’t know that.”

Mum: “I’ll just take her out and wait in the car with her.”

Owner: “I’m really sorry. It’s not that I don’t like dogs. I love dogs, and yours looks really cute, but my husband swells up and can’t breathe when he’s near dog hair, and…”

Me: “Really, it’s no problem. She can use the time in the car, anyway.”

(We go on to discuss fabric choices for my project, and she helps me personally, since only one other customer is in the store who is already being helped by one of the employees. When we move closer to them to look at some belt straps, the owner notices that in a bag on the floor is a tiny dog, even smaller than mine.)

Owner: “Excuse me. I didn’t notice it before, but dogs are not allowed in this store. Please leave your dog outside.”

Customer: *in a tone so rude I can’t possibly portray it in writing* “It’s none of your business. He’s in a bag.” *turns back around to the employee*

Owner: “My husband is extremely allergic to dogs, so I have to ask you, again, to please take your dog outside, as I can’t have him in the store.”

Customer: “And where am I supposed to put him? My car? He’d just destroy it. No. I’m keeping him with me, in here.”

(The dog in question is a chihuahua in a closed bag, on a leash that ties him to said bag. He couldn’t possibly get out of there.)

Owner: “I frankly don’t care where you put your dog, as long as he’s not in my store. Please get him out of here now.”

Customer: “No. I won’t. And if you make me, you’ll lose me as a customer.”

Owner: “I don’t want you as a customer if you don’t take your dog outside right now!”

Customer: “I won’t.”

(With that, she turns back to the employee, who obviously doesn’t know how to deal with that and is extremely uncomfortable, but resumes helping the entitled woman with choosing some buttons. The owner is obviously furious but doesn’t know what else to do. I’m furious, too; the tone and general attitude of the customer are so rude, and to such a nice person, that I basically feel ashamed to belong to the same species as that person. After taking a deep breath and contemplating, I decide to step in.)

Me: *in a calm but incredibly icy tone, with my best menacing stare* “Excuse me.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I just took my dog outside to wait in the car, too. You have been asked repeatedly to remove your dog from this store. It is not okay to endanger the health of a human being just so your dog won’t have to spend ten minutes alone in a car. Do you really believe that the fifteen Euros you’re spending here are more important to [Owner] than her husband’s health? Pull yourself together, get rid of that attitude, and get your dog outside right now.”

Customer: “FINE! I will buy my buttons here, and then I will never come back! You’ve just lost a customer for life!”

Me: “Thank God. I wouldn’t like to encounter the likes of you in here ever again.”

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