Some Of These Books Are Trash

, , , , | | Right | June 19, 2019

Like many libraries, ours has an outdoor book-drop where people can turn in their library books after hours or if they’re in too much of a hurry to come inside. It’s not uncommon for patrons with overdue items to insist they’ve put their books and movies in the outdoor book-drop, though we empty the drop several times a day to ensure items don’t accrue fines.

One elderly gentleman calls us to ask why two books are still showing up on his account when he knows for a fact that he put them in our outdoor book-drop a week ago. We search the shelves and the drop for the missing books but come up empty. We ask the man again when he turned in the books.

“Last week,” he says, “in the book-drop in front of the library.”

Cue expressions of horror from all of us. Our outdoor book-drop is located on the side of the building. What’s in front of the library… is a trash can.

We check the trash can to be safe, but it has since been emptied by the janitorial crew and the books are long gone. I feel bad for the gentleman accidentally throwing away library books, but at the same time, don’t most people recognize a trash can when they see one?

“It Doesn’t Work” Doesn’t Work As A Descriptor

, , , , , | | Right | June 18, 2019

(I work in a small call center providing technical support to retirement homes. I have the utmost respect for nurses. However, they are some of the worst when it comes to technical support. There is a very common documentation software we deal with.)

Caller: “My computer doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay, we’ll take a look and see what’s going on. What’s happening on the screen?”

Caller: “It doesn’t work.”

Me: “So, it’s not coming on?”

Caller: “Well, no, it doesn’t work.”

Me: “So, no lights at all?”

Caller: “Well, no, the lights are on.”

Me: “So, it has power.”

Caller: “I guess. But it doesn’t work.”

Me: “Is there anything on the screen?”

Caller: “No, it doesn’t work.”

Me: “So, you have a completely black screen?”

Caller: “Well, no, but it doesn’t work.”

(My patience fading…)

Me: “What, exactly, does the screen look like?”

Caller: “Well, it’s white.”

Me: “So, you have a blank, white screen?”

Caller: “Yes, it doesn’t work.”

Me: “So, there is a blank, white screen, nothing on it?”

Caller: “Yes, because it doesn’t work.”

Me: “Did this happen when you turned the computer on? Or were you working on something?”

Caller: “No, I wasn’t doing anything. It just stopped working.”

Me: “So, you logged in and got a blank, white screen.”

Caller: “Well, no. I put my name thing in and password.”

Me: “So, you could log in.”

Caller: “I guess, but it doesn’t work.”

Me: “So, you logged in and the screen went white.”

Caller: “Well, no. I had the blue screen first.”

Me: “Okay. You went to the desktop? Where you saw icons?”

Caller: “Well, yes. But it’s not working.”

(But is it working?)

Me: “So, you were on the desktop, and then everything went white?”

Caller: “Well, no, I was doing documentation.”

Me: “So, you were in [Documentation Software] and the program stopped working?”

Caller: “Well, it doesn’t work.”

Me: “So, you were able to log in and start using [Documentation Software], and now the screen is blank and white?”

Caller: “Well, no.”

Me: “So, is there something on the screen?

Caller: “Well, no. Not really.”

Me: “Not really?”

Caller: “Well, it’s not working.”

Me: “I understand that it’s not working. But is there something on the screen?”

Caller: “Well, yes, but not my documentation.”

Me: “Okay, can you describe it for me? Tell me everything on the screen from top to bottom.”

Caller: “But it’s not working.”

Me: “Yes, I know. But I need to know exactly what’s not working.”

Caller: “Well, it’s my computer. It’s not working.”

Me: “Are there words on your screen?”

Caller: “Well, yes, but not [Documentation Software].”

Me: “Okay. What are the words on your screen? Read it to me.”

Caller: “It says, ‘Login Expired.”’”

Me: “So, you need a password update?”

Caller: “Well, yes. Because it’s not working.”

Me: “Okay. Your new password is [password]. You can log back in.”

Caller: “Oh! It’s working again! I guess it fixed itself!” *click*

(Cue my coworkers’ screams of laughter. Luckily, most of our calls are not this bad!)

Rental Mental

, , , , | | Right | June 18, 2019

(My husband gets a great promotion but it requires us to move to another state. I begin the process of selling our old home while my husband is looking for a new home. We both know a lot about buying and selling a home and have done so multiple times, so I know where and how to advertise. I have just listed our house for sale on the real estate websites when I get an email from a gentleman.)

Client: “Saw the pics and it looks beautiful.”

(He asks about the school district and the age of the appliances, condition of the roof, etc. Everything looks great.)

Me: “Would you like to schedule a time to come to see it?”

Client: “Yes, I would also like to know if you would be interested in renting it to me.”

Me: “No, I am not a landlord nor do I have any desire to be. The house is for sale only, as clearly stated in the listing.”

Client: “Well, I really need a place I can rent. I am a single father of three girls and we really need a place to live. I can pay about $900 a month. I really want them to stay in this school district.”

Me: “I sympathize with you, but I cannot rent it or I would be homeless. I need the money for the sale of this house to pay off the mortgage and then use the excess as the down payment to get a mortgage on the house I am buying in the state I am moving to.”

Client: “Please, my kids and I really need a nice home.”

Me: “So do my kids. I will not move them into a car so that you can have a nice home.”

(A few days later I get another email from him.)

Client: “I have a relative that can help; would you take payments?”

Me: “I will take one payment. If you want to do multiple ones, call a bank.”

(I blocked his email after that. What is sad and annoying is that he wasn’t the only one contacting me wanting to know if I would rent to them. If I have a house up for sale, it’s obvious that I am trying to sell it, else I would advertise it as a rental.)

Yes, That’s A Call For The Books

, , , , | | Right | June 18, 2019

(I work in an independently-owned textbook store. We only sell textbooks, and only specific textbooks that professors order through us. A LOT of people have a problem understanding this. It is in between semesters so we have very, very little in stock at the moment. A customer has called to check if a book is in stock.)

Customer: “Do you have this book, [Textbook]? Yes, please let me know if you have it in stock. Yes, it is [Textbook] by [Author].

Me: “Unfortunately, we do not have that in stock right now. Sorry.”

Customer: “Yes. Tell me where I will get this book. I need [Textbook] by [Author], edition number 10, from [year]. Yes, you will tell me where I can get this.”

Me: “Well, I know none of our other stores have it in stock right now. Did you try [Local College’s school store]?

Customer: “This business is closed for two days. Where else can I get this book, [Textbook]? Tell me where else.”

Me: “I’m not sure, sir. Have you tried [Other Big Box Store that sells textbooks]?”

Customer: “Yes. You want to help me because I am a customer, and so, yes you need to tell me where to get this book. Yes, you are ignoring me and you need to help me.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not ignoring you; I just don’t have thi—”

Customer: “I want to speak with your manager.”

Me: “I am the manager, sir.”

Customer: “No. I want to speak to a manager. You are ignoring me. Sometimes you people just ignore your customers, but I need this book and you need to help me because I am a customer and you should want to help me.”

Me: “Um… Did you try [Yet Another Big Box Store]?”

Customer: “Yes. Why are you not helping me?! I am your customer and you need to tell me where this book is.”

(He keeps interrupting me to rant on about how I am ignoring him and how he is my customer and needs this book and I should be helping him. I am obviously getting a bit irritated as, at this point, he is not technically MY customer and I have tried to help him as best I can, even suggesting the bigger stores that are running my company out of business.)

Customer: “Tell me if [College store that apparently is closed] has this for me.”

Me: “I can’t look that up for you, sir. You could try calling their other branch.”

Customer: “Yes, then tell me [Other Branch] has this book. Yes, you will do this.”

Me: “I can’t, sir; I don’t work there. You’d have to call them.”

Customer: “Yes, you need to help me because I am your customer. You need to help me and you are ignoring me. Yes, I need help to find this book!”

(He goes on and on and on like this. He won’t let me speak and when he does he seems to ignore what I just said and continue his rant. This has been about a ten-minute phone call by this point and I am fed up.)

Me: “Okay, thank you for calling. Have a great day!” *click*

The Grid Truth

, , , , , | | Right | June 18, 2019

(I am working the checkout when a young boy, about five years old, comes up with me to buy a few “Tron Legacy” toys. I’m also a fan of the “Tron” movies, so I start to talk to him about it.)

Me: “I guess you like Tron, then?”

Boy: “Yeah! I love it! They are gonna make a second one!”

Me: “Well, technically, Tron Legacy is the second one. The first one is about as old as I am.”

(The boy just looks at me with shock.)

Boy: “But you’re ANCIENT!”

(I look at his mother, who is in shock that her little boy has called me ancient, as I am not that old. She also begins to turn red out of embarrassment until I burst out laughing. The little boy buys his toys and leaves with his mother, and I turn to my manager while still laughing.)

Manager: “If you’re ancient, what does that make me, then?”

(That little boy made me forget about all the abuse I get at work, and still makes me laugh now.)

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