It Wasn’t His Dog Day Afternoon

, , , | Right | February 21, 2019

(It is Saturday, our busiest day at the pet-grooming salon, and we are super busy. One customer comes in without an appointment, but we are willing to squeeze their two dogs in, letting them know it will take a while. They are okay with it.)

Customer: *calling in a few hours later* “Hi. Are my dogs ready?”

Me: “Well, one is done and the other is bathed, but the groomer does have to go to lunch soon, and it will probably take another few hours due to the complicated haircuts on the other dogs who came in before you.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! I went to a baseball game, and they should be ready now! I’m coming to get them!” *hangs up*

(I let my coworkers know what happened and that I’m going to just charge for the bath, not the haircut. A few minutes later, a physically angry man with a red face storms in saying he’s here for the dogs.)

Customer: “I’M HERE FOR MY DOGS! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”

Me: “Okay, so, we’re going to charge for just the bath on this dog. The total is [amount].”

Customer: *fuming* “What?! This is horses***! Why is it so much? F*** you!”

Me: “Well, this is the price of a bath; it’s actually less than the price you signed for. I’m sorry you are upset, but unfortunately, I cannot change the price.”

Customer: “I want to speak to a manager! It is f****** bulls*** that you charge this much! We dropped them off in the morning and they should be done!”

Me: “Well, our manager isn’t here, but if you have any complaints, you can call during the weekday, and—“

Customer: *cuts me off* “OH, I’M GONNA DO THAT!”

(He actually lets me process the transaction and charge his card, probably because at this point I’ve stopped looking at him and focused on the invoice. He continues cursing and ranting as I slide his card and just act as calm as possible going through the typical dialogue at this point. That seems to set him off more, because when he signs the receipt, he just writes “HORSES***” in place of his name.)

Customer: “I wrote ‘HORSES****’ ON THE RECEIPT, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE! I’M TELLING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW TO NEVER COME HERE! F**** YOU!” *inserts string of profanity* “YOU’VE JUST LOST MY BUSINESS!”

Me: “Have a nice day!”

(One of the groomers was outside and he started ranting at her. I peeked out the door holding a phone as if I was about to call the police, and he got in his car and sped off. I called my manager, and now he is banned at the store, and if he tries to come in again, we will call the police for real.)

The Competition Is Fierce

, , , , | Right | February 20, 2019

(I work as a vendor stocking shelves at stores with my company’s product. I’m not employed by the stores I work in but frequently get asked where things are by the stores’ customers. An older lady enters the soda aisle were I am stocking my company’s product, in my company uniform, with logos very visible.)

Customer: “Do you have any good deals on [Competitor’s product]?”

Me: “I work for [Company], not [Store] or [Competitor], so I’m not sure what they have on sale.”

(The customer proceeds to the correct area for the product she asked for and finds the shelf empty of the product she wants, so she returns to me.)

Customer: “Do you have any more [Competitor’s product]?”

Me: “Since I don’t work for [Competitor], I’m not sure, but a [Store] employee should be in the next aisle over; they could check for you.”

(The customer just stands there between me and my product, so I decide it will be easier to just go see if there is any in the back. I don’t find any, but the vendor for the competitor is checking in his truck, so I grab a bottle from him and return to the customer.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am.”

(She takes the product and walks about five feet away before turning back to me.)

Customer: “Oh, I think I prefer [Another Competitor]; do you have any of that, instead?”

Me: “Well, that’s a [Yet Another Competitor]’s product, not mine, but they’re just up the aisle, as well.”

(The customer then tried to shove the first competitors’ product I had taken my time to get her onto my already-filled shelf, knocking my product to the floor and breaking it, and walked away without even an apology. Total time spent cleaning up and assisting this customer: about twenty minutes. Total sales for my company: $0.)

To Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

, , , , | Right | February 20, 2019

(I work in a store that has an in-store credit card. You can pay with debit, cash, or check. I would think it would be common sense that you cannot pay a credit card with another credit card, but it happens a lot.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to pay on my charge.”

Coworker: “Okay. Go ahead and insert the card and type in your PIN.”

Customer: “No, it’s a credit card.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we need to have a debit card to make a payment.”

Customer: “No, I want to use this card.”

(He then begins ranting and becoming incredibly louder, making quite the scene. He finally leaves after his temper tantrum.)

Coworker: “What’s sad is that I know him. He works at the grocery store down the road where my son used to work.”

Me: “Seriously? My aunt is the manager there. I’m so telling her about this.”

(I told her about the jerk customer, and she made sure she made a big announcement at their employee meeting about why you can’t pay a credit card with a credit card because some jerk tried it at another store and made a fool out of himself. She made sure she was looking at him, too.)

Someone Listened!

, , , | Right | February 20, 2019

(Our hours don’t really change and we’re only closed for one day a year, and as such, I am prepared for non-religious holidays when banks or the nearby mall are normally closed.)

Me: *picks up a ringing phone* “Thank you for calling [location]. Our hours are ten to nine today. How may I help you?”

Caller: *pause* “That’s what I was going to ask.” *hangs up*

A Bill So High It’s Cartoonish

, , , , | Right | February 20, 2019

(I work in a payment collection call center for a cable company.)

Me: *goes through intro script and reads off current balance*

Customer: “Why is my bill so g**d*** high?!”

Me: “Just a moment, miss. Let me pull up your bill.” *does, and sees a stunningly long list of pay-per-view purchases* “Miss, it seems like the primary contributor to your balance is a large quantity of pay-per-view orders.”

Customer: “What pay-per-view orders?! I didn’t order any pay-per-view stuff!”

Me: “Well, let me read off the order list to you, and tell me if you recognize any of this.”

(I read the list. It’s full of “Spongebob,” “Peppa Pig,” and Disney Princess movies.)

Customer: “Wait. Are you telling me those orders are nothing but cartoons?”

Me: “That appears to be the case, yes.”

(The customer heaves a gigantic, trembling sigh. I brace myself for auditory pain.)

Customer: “Just a moment, please.”

(I hear her put the phone down and dial a cell phone. There’s silence for a moment.)

Customer: “[Husband]? Do you have any idea WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER DID?!”

(Apparently, this customer’s seven-year-old daughter ordered about thirty pay-per-view cartoons without her parents’ knowledge or consent. Needless to say, the customer asked to speak to the billing department.)

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