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Rich Spend All Their Wealth On Fried Chicken

, , , | Right | November 24, 2018

(I work at a popular fast food chicken restaurant. It’s about noon, and a rather deranged-looking man comes up to the register.)

Me: “Hi there. Is this going to be for here or to go?”

(He stands there and stares at me for a good twenty seconds before snapping out of his trance.)

Customer: “Oh! Sorry. This is to go. You know, I have a granddaughter who looks just like you. I make a lot of money, too. You know that place off of route 51…” *more incoherent rambling*

(He finally tells me he’s looking for a family meal, and I try my best to find the one that will fit his needs.)

Me: “We have a sixteen-piece meal; it comes with four large sides and eight biscuits. How about that?”

Customer: “Okay, and I’ll have that with no wings, please… You know, I have tons of money, right?”

Me: “Sure, and what would you like for your four sides?”

Customer: “No, I have money!”

Me: “I know. I’m asking what four sides you wanted with your meal.”

Customer: “That sixteen-piece meal up there; that’s what I wanted.”

Me: “Sir, I’m aware of that. I’m just asking what sides you want with it. Mashed potatoes? Coleslaw?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ll have two mashed potatoes and two coleslaw.”

Me: “All right, that’ll be [total].”

Customer: “Now I have the money, all right?”

Me: “Okay.”

(He pulls out a whole wad of cash, seemingly all $1 bills. He tries to count them all and gives up.)

Customer: “Ugh, I know I have it. Let me just pull it out of what I got from that…” *more rambling*

(He eventually pulls out a fifty and gives it to me.)

Customer: “Now, I want to give you guys change for helping me out. Take what’s left and split it with each other.”

Me: “That’s very nice of you, but it isn’t necessary.”

Customer: “Oh, oh, oh, but it’s my gift to you. You should take it.”

Me: “Well, thank you, sir.”

(There ended up being a slight wait on his meal, so my manager went up and offered him a free drink while I handed it out. He talked to us for about five minutes about random things including his daughters, roads, and politics. He actually ended up inviting us to a candlelight dinner at his house before leaving.)

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