Revenge Is A Prize Best Served Sweet

(I’m at a fundraising fair for my high school. There are several different games set up, including one that involves throwing a football through a tire that is suspended from a frame. The game is being run by a female student, who happens to be one of my friends, and a male student who is our junior varsity quarterback. Note: I am a very petite female freshman.)

Me: “Hey, [friend’s name], how many tickets to play? I’d love a candy bar.”

Friend: “It’s two tickets for two throws but for four we’ll swing the tire. You still only get two throws but we double the prize.”

Football Player: *snorts* “Why don’t you come back with your boyfriend and let him play for you, sweetie? I’d hate to just take your tickets like that.”

Me: *to friend* “Okay, I’ll give you four tickets then.”

(I hand my friend the tickets and she gives me the football.)

Football Player: *rolls his eyes* “Honey, you just wasted your tickets! Plenty of guys have tried and failed so you’re not gonna make it either!”

Me: “Just shut up and swing the tire.”

(He shrugs then swings the tire, muttering that I’m an idiot. I carefully watch the tire then throw the ball. It barely goes through. He scoffs and tosses me the ball.)

Football Player: “Lucky shot!”

Me: “No, I didn’t have my fingers lined up properly.”

Football Player: “Yeah, right.”

(He sets the tire in motion again. I make sure to line my fingers up properly this time then throw it. The ball goes through the tire dead center. The football player’s jaw drops and he stares at me. Then, his face goes red and he stomps off.)

Me: “What’s his damage?”

(My friend hands me my prizes, which include a candy bar.)

Friend: “He’s mad ’cause even he couldn’t make the shot.”

Me: “So you mean to tell me I have better throwing accuracy than the JV quarterback?”

Friend: “Yep!”

Me: “Ah, that just made this candy bar that much sweeter.”