Revenge Is A Dish Best Served In Secret

(We have been called out to a residence who has had the front of their garden driven through by a car. It seems the driver swerved to avoid an oncoming vehicle and lost control. He has already offered to pay for the damages. I am taking a statement from the homeowner.)

Homeowner: “I need to get revenge somehow!”

Me: “For what reason?”

Homeowner: “He destroyed my garden!”

Me: “You believe the damage was intentional?”

Homeowner: “Of course not, but I still need to get revenge.”

(She thinks in silence for a few moments.)

Homeowner: “How about setting fire to his house?”

Me: “…”

Homeowner: “Would that be good?”

Me: “I don’t think you should be discussing this with me.”

Homeowner: “Why not!”

Me: “I’m a police officer!”

(I mentioned it to my superior and we agreed to monitor her in case she tried to act. Thankfully she didn’t, and the damage was fixed at the driver’s expense, without any trouble.)