Retiring From The Dating Game

(Earlier that weekend, I’d been to a symphony concert and been chatted up by a man. I’m single and 34, so this is of great interest to friends.)

Friend #1: “How was your weekend?”

Friend #2: “Oooh! Did you tell them about your retired guy?”

(The guy had mentioned that he’d recently retired from the Air Force.)

Me: “[Friend #2]! That makes him sound so old.”

Friend #3: “It can happen after a few years if they don’t re-enlist.”

Me: “Yeah, but she’s making it sound like I’d marry him for his Social Security check!”