Retail Staff Earn Oscars Every Day

, , , , | Right | September 27, 2019

(I am working behind the customer service counter when a customer comes up to complain about some policy.)

Me: *smiling politely* “I’m so sorry that we can’t do anything about it; we have to follow the policy, too.”

Customer: *crossly* “You don’t look very sorry!”

(I am a moderately good actress and can’t resist the opportunity. Instantly, I crumple up my face into an anguished expression, bring tears to my eyes, and, in quiveringly heartbroken tones, pronounce the following:)

Me: “I am so, so sorry! I am devastated to have to tell you this, but I honestly can do nothing. I wish—” *gulping hard* “—I could do something for you, but there is nothing I can do.”

Customer: *staring with a dropped jaw and bugged out eyes*

Me: *sweetly, in normal voice* “Is that better?”

(The customer closes his mouth, I start laughing, and he joins in.)

Customer: “Wow! You’re an amazing actress!”

(I smile and he grins back.)

Customer: “Well, I guess if you can’t, you can’t, but thanks for the laugh, anyway.”

(And he left with a smile on his face.)

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